This is a discussion on A living will within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; My wife and I were sitting in the living room and I said to her, "Just so you know, I never want to live in ...
My wife and I were sitting in the living room and I said to her,
"Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state,
dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever
happens, just pull the plug."
She got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all of my beer.
Bumper
Coimhéad fearg fhear na foighde; Beware the anger of a patient man.
Array
I got my wife a mood ring so I could tell her moods. When the ring is blue, her mood is fine. Whe she is in a bad mood, it leaves a red welt on my forehead.
Array
Too funny guys
"She got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all of my beer."
Hey...do you have a hidden camera in my Living Room?
Romantic Lighting in my Living Room.
Bwhaha - nothing to add to those gems - yet!
Oh hang on -
"I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always."
Chris - P95
NRA Certified Instructor & NRA Life Member.
"To own a gun and assume that you are armed
is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."
http://www.rkba-2a.com/ - a portal for 2A links, articles and some videos.
I smiled, but I'm sure not showing them to my wife and losing my beer!
Rick
EOD - Initial success or total failure
Mrshonts sometimes points the TV remote at me and hits the MUTE button.
I grab the remote, point it at him and hit SLEEP.
"Americans have the will to resist because you have weapons. If you don't have a gun, freedom of speech has no power." - Yoshimi Ishikawa
I'm the Lord of my castle.
I wear the pants in my family.
And I have my wife's permission to say that.
When you’re wounded and left on Afghanistan’s plains,
And the women come out to cut up what remains,
Just roll to your rifle and blow out your brains,
And go to your God like a soldier.
Rudyard Kipling
Terry
Listen to the song The Man Song by Sean Morey
I don't take no crap from anybody! ... else but you.
I wear the pants around here!...when I'm finished with your laundry.
'Cause I'm a guy you don't want to fight! ... when I say "jump" you say "yeah, right".
I'm the man of this house! ... until you get home.
What I say goes around here! ... right out the window.
And I don't want to hear a lot of whining! ... so I'll shut up.
The sooner you learn who's boss around here! ... the sooner you can give me my orders, dear.
'Cause I am the head honcho! ... but it's all in my head.
And I can have sex anytime! ... that you want.
'Cause I'm a man who has needs! ... but they're not that important.
And don't expect any flowers from me! ... because if I'm not mistaken you prefer jewelry.
I'm the king of my castle! ... when you're not around.
And I'll drink and watch sports whenever I want! ... to get into trouble.
And I'll come home when I'm good and ready! ... to sleep on the couch.
Because a man's got to do what a man's got to do! ... and I'm going to do what you tell me to.
Because I'm top dog around here! ... but I've been neutered!
You have to make the shot when fire is smoking, people are screaming, dogs are barking, kids are crying and sirens are coming.
Randy Cain.
Ego will kill you. Leave it at home.
Signed: Me!
Array
yeah my fiance read this and was like "HAHAHAHa that is fuuunnnnnyyy.....I love when people take the truth and make it funny."
....I've been keeping a REAL close eye on my beer the last few hours!
S&W 5906
********
si vis pacem, para bellum
protego communis bona
Array
After reading those words of wisdom, you still have a fiance? Remember, she thinks it's funny now. She'll think it's deadly serious once she gets the ring in your no... er, on your finger.Originally Posted by d2thomas
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Yeah I can already tell that I'm screwed!
In the words of the great Ron White; Her parents are LOOOAAAAADDDDEEEEEDDDDDDDDD....and I'm waiting for them to DDDDIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE...and when that happens you'll know cuz you'll never see my fat ***** around her AAGGGGAAAAIIIINNNNNN.
blue collar comedy - gotta love it.
S&W 5906
********
si vis pacem, para bellum
protego communis bona
Array
Yesssss! I just wish he had some new shows coming out. It's always the same show.I ain't got no thumbs.
Array
hey rember GIT ER DONE
Array
Yesssss! I just wish he had some new shows coming out. It's always the same show.
I was listening to "Bob and Tom" the other morning, they were talking to Foxworthy and guess what......THEY ARE GOING TO DO IT AGAIN
Going to hit the road and do a taping for broadcast, do not remember the dates but seem to recall it is not too far away.
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There's a reason The Sopranos is set in New Jersey.