August 29th, 2008 07:31 PM
Be Careful Out There:
We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a "large" enough motor
on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, "Lady,
you need a 1/4 horsepower." I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, "NO, it's not." Four is larger than two.."
We haven't used Sears repair since.
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's
take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, "you gave me too much money." I said, "Yes I
know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back." She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he
handed me back the quarter, and said "We're sorry but they could not do that kind of thing." The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in
Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.
I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign
on our road. The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."
>From Kingman ,
SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only
had iceberg lettuce.
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To
which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded,
"That' s why we ask."
Happened in Birmingham , Ala.
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew
what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing
She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker. She was leaving the company due to "downsizing." Our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We
should do this more often." Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
This was a lunch at
IDIOT SIGHTING :
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.
A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service
department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door
handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "its open!" His reply, "I know. I already got that side."
This was at the Ford dealership in Canton ,
They walk among us... and the scary part is that they VOTE and they REPRODUCE!
"The sword dose not cause the murder, and the maker of the sword dose not bear sin" Rabbi Solomon ben Isaac 11th century
August 29th, 2008 08:34 PM
It would be funny if it weren't true.
I would rather stand against the cannons of the wicked than against the prayers of the righteous.
AR. CHL Instr. 07/02 FFL
Like custom guns and stuff? Check this out...
August 29th, 2008 08:44 PM
I went to wash the windshield on my truck the other night as I was filling up, but all the window washer buckets were empty. I went inside to inquire about this problem and was told by the clerk that last winter the policy was to empty the buckets at nightfall so they wouldn't freeze and that the policy hadn't been changed yet.
I really didn't know what to say to the guy..........
"These are the times that try men's souls. The summer soldier
and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the
service of his country; but he that stands it now, deserves the
love and thanks of man and woman."
-- Thomas Paine (The American Crisis, No. 1, 19 December 1776)
August 29th, 2008 08:47 PM
Believe it or not, at our local gun club, someone was selling logo T-shirts: $5 each, two for $12.50.
"Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch; Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote."
-- Benjamin Franklin
August 29th, 2008 09:22 PM
Yeah, and it is amazing how many people will buy two thinking they are getting a deal.
Originally Posted by JonInNY
August 29th, 2008 09:56 PM
August 29th, 2008 10:47 PM
TRUE story of my own
I was born without fingers on my left hand. Not knowing of any other way to be it’s just me. I seldom even give it a thought. But, not once but twice in my life this exact scenario has transpired. A gentleman who obviously was some sort of white cooler professional type asked me how I lost my hand. To which I replied “I was born without my hand”. After thinking for a moment he replied, “Are you left or right handed?” Trying to not laugh I replied “I’m right handed”, to which he immediately commented. “Man, that’s lucky”.
Geez now that I think about it maybe I’m left handed? Explains a few things in my past maybe.
I carry to protect myself and my loved ones from the BG's. Not to solve societies problems. That said: if more carried the deterrent would only have a positive overall effect on those problems.
August 30th, 2008 04:14 AM
More from the web..........
One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone shouted...."Look at that dead bird!"
Someone looked up at the sky and said..."where???"
While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning.
She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?"
When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff."
My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore.
She drove down in a convertible, but "didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving".
My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it's designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped.
She keeps it in the trunk...
While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go.
He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6.
He thought about it for some time before responding.
"Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.
August 30th, 2008 04:49 AM
I once went on a trouble call with one of our IT guys to investigate a suspected bad floppy drive, the end user claimed that the A: drive was not storing data on the disks, we went checked it out, the disk was OK, the drive was functioning, we did this on three more occasions, finally we asked the guy to show us exactly what he was doing to save the information, he wrote the data to the disk, checked it on the disk, removed the disk from the drive, and then proceeded to stick it to the metal filing cabinet with a magnet so he wouldn't loose his disk.
I now work in private radio systems, not CBs or stereos, but LEO, Fire, EMS, etc.
When I lived in PA, one of the electrical workers for PECO called in a trouble ticket for his radio not transmitting.
Now bare with me here, he had what is called an enhanced charger, you place the portable radio in the charger, lock it in place and you can hook up a microphone, antenna, and speaker to THE CHARGER that the radio slides into and use it like a mobile radio, without the radio manually inserted into the charger, IT'S JUST A CHARGER.
This yahoo had the radio in his hand, and was trying to key the radio using the microphone attached to the charger.
August 30th, 2008 09:03 AM
These are all funny, yet sadly, true stories..
"It is better to live one day as a lion than a hundred years as a sheep."
- Italian proverb
August 30th, 2008 11:13 AM
Sad but true...
One company I used to work for provided server and network hardware and support to various photo labs all over the country. Our noc kept calling in at about 6:15 every night stating that such and such stores kept losing their network every night that week right about 6pm.
They had a BAD thunderstorm and the building lost power over the weekend. Being the bright photo geniuses they were, they decided that the never ending beeping from the UPS was too much to handle so they powered it off....
Monday:...They arrive to work and discover that they have power back, but the router and their server is still down. In their geniusness they decided that the UPS (same one from the night before) must be bad. So what did they do? They unplugged the equipment from the UPS and plugged it back into a local wall outlet and everything magically comes back to life.
Tuesday: Our noc picks up on the fact that the same store went back down at 6pm tonight. After calling all over the place they discovered that the store folks had already gone home for the night and they had no contact info for them at their homes.
Wednesday: We got ahold of the store folks and they claimed everything was up and running when they left tuesday evening. Various log files show they cut off right about 6pm the night before. Odd... Mysteriously they went down again tonight...6pm again. WTH?
Thursday: So I finally got ahold of the brightest flashbulb in their little pack and got him to explain what their process is every day. It seems they all close up shop and go home every day at 6pm... interesting. After some bantering back and forth, apparently the flashbulb goes off in his head and he says... "you know, we plugged everything into the wall outlet after that thunderstorm over the weekend". Really says I. My next set of questions was more or less leaning toward the "What exact steps do you follow when you leave every night at 6?".
And there we have it. Apparently they plugged the power strip into a wall outlet and powered off the UPS because they couldn't stand the beeping, but this wasn't just any old wall outlet. Yep, you guessed it. The wall outlet was controlled by a LIGHT SWITCH! They had a double set of light switches on the wall next to the lab door that they would throw every night when they left at 6. One switch hit the lights and the other...that darned wall outlet.
The sad part is that I spent a good half hour explaining to the lead tech on site via the phone what was going on, and he still didn't get it....
"My God David, We're a Civilized society."
"Sure, As long as the machines are workin' and you can call 911. But you take those things away, you throw people in the dark, and you scare the crap out of them; no more rules...You'll see how primitive they can get."
-The Mist (2007)
August 30th, 2008 11:55 AM
I did some contract software work for Comcast. It was a 3 month project with a budget of about $100,000. At the end of the contract, we were literally $1 over budget. The project lead literally spent an entire day in meetings with 5 managers explaining why he was over budget by $1.
Preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse or Rapture....whichever comes first.
August 30th, 2008 01:59 PM
I was at McD's two nights ago, the total came to $3.18. I could not produce the exact change, only $3.20. Instead, I gave him 3-1dollar bills, two dimes, and 3 pennies. So he just had to hand me a nickel. He looked at it....looked at it....and could not understand why I "overpaid" him. I explained he just owed me a nickel and went on my way.
Better to die on your feet, than to live on your knees.
August 30th, 2008 04:29 PM
Even with the people from the fassssst food industry using a computer,they still can not figure out the change
Originally Posted by Jackle1886
Went to Wendys couple of months ago. The total order was $7.18. I gave them 1-20 dollar bill 2-1 dollar bills and 1 quarter. I should have gotten 1-10 1-5 and 1-nickel. The girl was so puzzled that after waiting 3 minutes and she was going to hand me back my money plus the change. I had to tell her what to give back as correct change.
August 30th, 2008 05:53 PM
I have been completely fed up with many cashiers inability to do the simple math for returning change from amounts higher than due that I just convert the metal to paper at the bank or pay exact change.
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