More Darwin!

This is a discussion on More Darwin! within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; This may be old stuff - may also be other than true -but still it got me chucklin' ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ In case you haven't received them ...

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Thread: More Darwin!

  1. #1
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    More Darwin!

    This may be old stuff - may also be other than true -but still it got me chucklin'

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    In case you haven't received them yet, here are this year's Darwin
    Awards -- the annual honor given to the person who improved the "gene pool" the most by killing themselves in the most extraordinarily stupid way. As always, competition this year has been keen. And the candidates this year are.............

    * IN Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of
    water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to
    retrieve his car keys.

    * A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when he
    ran,"--accidentally jogged off a 100-foot-high cliff on his daily run.

    * Buxton, NC: A man died on a beach when an 8-foot-deep hole he had dug
    into the sand caved in as he sat inside it. Beach-goers said Daniel
    Jones, 21, dug the hole for fun, or protection from the wind, and had
    been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom Thursday afternoon when it
    collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach on
    the outer banks, used their hands and shovels, trying to claw their way
    to Jones, a resident of Woodbridge, VA, but could not reach him. It took
    rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him while
    about 200 people looked on. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.

    * Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in Lompoc, CA, as he fell face-first
    through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was
    caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth (to keep his
    hands free) rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.

    * Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed in Selbyville, Del, as he won
    a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four
    bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger. (would have been a good bet to lose!)


    HONORABLE MENTION:

    * Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover township, NJ, and his
    wife Bonnie was also injured, when a quarter-stick of dynamite blew up
    in their car. While driving around 2 AM, the bored couple lit the
    dynamite and tried to toss it out the window to see what would happen,
    but apparently failed to notice the window was closed.


    RUNNER UP:


    * TACOMA, WA Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when
    one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from the
    Tacoma Narrows Bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew
    more heated and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge
    at 4:30 AM.

    Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one
    had brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking,
    volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay nearby.

    One end of the cable was secured around Bingham's leg and the other end
    was tied to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable
    tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived
    his fall into the icy river water and was rescued by two nearby
    fishermen. "All I can say" said Bingham, "is that God was watching out
    for me on that night.

    There's just no other explanation for it." Bingham's foot was never
    located.


    AND THE WINNER:

    Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt (Paderborn, Germany) fed his
    constipated elephant Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a
    bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm
    finally let it fly, and suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds of poop!

    Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the
    ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded on
    him.

    "The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr.
    Riesfeldt to the ground, where he struck his head on a rock and lay
    unconscious as the elephant continued to evacuate his bowels on top of
    him" said flabbergasted Paderborn police detective Erik Dern. '

    With no one there to help him, he lay under all that dung for at least
    an hour before a watchman came along, and during that time he
    suffocated. It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that proves
    that "S*%t happens!"
    Chris - P95
    NRA Certified Instructor & NRA Life Member.

    "To own a gun and assume that you are armed
    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."


    http://www.rkba-2a.com/ - a portal for 2A links, articles and some videos.

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  3. #2
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    In situations where one repeats information from a source, it is usually nice to give a more complete reference:

    http://www.darwinawards.com/

    - abba -

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    Normally do Bubby but when receiving stuff thru an email, as in this case, it ain't always possible!!!
    Chris - P95
    NRA Certified Instructor & NRA Life Member.

    "To own a gun and assume that you are armed
    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."


    http://www.rkba-2a.com/ - a portal for 2A links, articles and some videos.

  5. #4
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    They Were Great Chris

    You made my day!
    Liberty Over Tyranny Μολὼν λαβέ

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