A Bandit outside my house - Shots fired - Well, sort of...
So I walk into our kitchen and look out the window towards our bird feeder. (Yes, we have a bird feeder. I admit it.) What do I see? A big, fat, raccoon hanging off of it trying to pull it down! He succeeds. My wife and daughter come in and comment how cute he is. How sweet. However, I am trying to figure out what to shoot him with, and where I am going to dispose of the body! This has got to be the same pain in the butt that has been getting into my garbage and dumping it all over the garage and driveway. The wife and daughter have not had the pleasure of cleaning up the garbage about 10 times, so they still think he’s cute. My wife is a hunter, and has no problem pulling he trigger. But, she said she would divorce me if I actually killed the cute raccoon. Suddenly it occurs to me I have the perfect solution, that should allow me to stay married. A MP5 Air Soft gun!!!! I went and grabbed it, crept outside, beaded up on him, and squeezed the trigger. Oh no! The batteries were dead. My wife and daughter think this this is a great development, and are laughing hysterically at me from the kitchen window. So, I go inside change batteries. Oh yeah. Now we are in business. I creep outside, squeeze the trigger, and waylay his bird feeder ripping down, garbage eating butt with a burst of about 10 airsoft bbs. He takes off running back into the woods. So this weekend, I will be waiting for his return. I wonder if he will come back? If he does, I hope he is prepared for the fury that will rain down upon him again!!!!
My wife shot a couple of pics of the enemy through the window as I was frantically searching the house for batteries.