A Bandit outside my house - Shots fired - Well, sort of...

This is a discussion on A Bandit outside my house - Shots fired - Well, sort of... within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; So I walk into our kitchen and look out the window towards our bird feeder. (Yes, we have a bird feeder. I admit it.) What ...

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Thread: A Bandit outside my house - Shots fired - Well, sort of...

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    A Bandit outside my house - Shots fired - Well, sort of...

    So I walk into our kitchen and look out the window towards our bird feeder. (Yes, we have a bird feeder. I admit it.) What do I see? A big, fat, raccoon hanging off of it trying to pull it down! He succeeds. My wife and daughter come in and comment how cute he is. How sweet. However, I am trying to figure out what to shoot him with, and where I am going to dispose of the body! This has got to be the same pain in the butt that has been getting into my garbage and dumping it all over the garage and driveway. The wife and daughter have not had the pleasure of cleaning up the garbage about 10 times, so they still think he’s cute. My wife is a hunter, and has no problem pulling he trigger. But, she said she would divorce me if I actually killed the cute raccoon. Suddenly it occurs to me I have the perfect solution, that should allow me to stay married. A MP5 Air Soft gun!!!! I went and grabbed it, crept outside, beaded up on him, and squeezed the trigger. Oh no! The batteries were dead. My wife and daughter think this this is a great development, and are laughing hysterically at me from the kitchen window. So, I go inside change batteries. Oh yeah. Now we are in business. I creep outside, squeeze the trigger, and waylay his bird feeder ripping down, garbage eating butt with a burst of about 10 airsoft bbs. He takes off running back into the woods. So this weekend, I will be waiting for his return. I wonder if he will come back? If he does, I hope he is prepared for the fury that will rain down upon him again!!!!

    My wife shot a couple of pics of the enemy through the window as I was frantically searching the house for batteries.





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    Senior Member Array Chevy-SS's Avatar
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    I have been hearing a lot about the Airsoft guns. They are extremely realistic looking and could get you in a lot of trouble if you were carrying one, I would imagine. If a LEO saw you with one of those, he might start shooting.....

    What's the muzzle velocity of those things? I take it, they do not penetrate?

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    Member Array G96X0's Avatar
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    He would make a nice coon skin cap,

    and winter is coming...
    Last edited by G96X0; September 6th, 2008 at 09:34 AM. Reason: typo

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    Member Array pfcslr's Avatar
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    Soap

    With the large selection of fancy girlie soap out there, you might try setting out a few bars of say pumpkin spice or rose hip where he likes to forage. When I lived in the back woods of Arkansas a friend who set out a bar or rose hip soap for a black bear who had decided her cabin was a great place to find food. Sure enough the bear ate about half of the bar...he never returned. We all got a good laugh at the thought of a bear that didn't just sit in the woods but ALL OVER the woods! There are no long term ill effects, however the memory should very long lasting.

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    VIP Member Array Eagleks's Avatar
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    BB or pellet gun .. with a shot in the rear will discourage him. It won't kill him unless it's too high powered, but he sure won't like it at all.

    Or, set a live trap... and then let him loose at someone's house you really don't like much. Just a thought.

    Personally, I like them..... there are racoon proof trash cans. Feed him some side meals ... he'll leave the other stuff alone.

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    VIP Member Array packinnova's Avatar
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    hmm...banded bandit out during the daytime... Something's wrong with that bandit.
    "My God David, We're a Civilized society."

    "Sure, As long as the machines are workin' and you can call 911. But you take those things away, you throw people in the dark, and you scare the crap out of them; no more rules...You'll see how primitive they can get."
    -The Mist (2007)

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    That's funny! We have four feeders - I take a lot of pleasure in watching and identifying songbirds.

    I've used BB guns, never airsoft. Very funny!

    Great pics too!

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    Senior Member Array DrLewall's Avatar
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    paintball gun? That way he is marked and next time you see him, you can confirm if it's the same coon or a one of his kin...
    "Brains before Bullets"

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    Quote Originally Posted by DrLewall View Post
    paintball gun? That way he is marked and next time you see him, you can confirm if it's the same coon or a one of his kin...
    Now this is a clever idea...
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    Member Array XD9sc's Avatar
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    That's hilarious. Nice pics.

    I have some friends in FL. They say the recent flooding is driving the animals out. I'd rather have a raccoon than an alligator in my backyard.

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    VIP Member Array JonInNY's Avatar
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    I have a friend that electrified his bird feeder, with a switch inside the house. If a pest came to the feeder, he would throw he switch and zap it. A few times, and the pesky varmint would learn to stay away.
    "Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch; Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote."
    -- Benjamin Franklin

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    Senior Member Array bobcat35's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chevy-SS View Post
    I have been hearing a lot about the Airsoft guns. They are extremely realistic looking and could get you in a lot of trouble if you were carrying one, I would imagine. If a LEO saw you with one of those, he might start shooting.....

    What's the muzzle velocity of those things? I take it, they do not penetrate?

    -

    -
    around 300-330 fps stock
    most are uprgraded to around 400 fps

    side bar note: while i do not openly condone anything that can be misconstrued as cruelty to animals i did loan a freind a STAR brand M249 para to help kep a woodchuck off his lawn.
    "Nothing in life is so exhilarating as to be shot at without result."
    -Winston Churchill
    Every well-bred petty crook knows: the small concealable weapons always go to the far left of the place setting.
    -Inara, firefly

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    VIP Member Array rodc13's Avatar
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    If you feed them, they will come . . .

    Cheers,
    Rod
    "We're paratroopers. We're supposed to be surrounded!" Dick Winters

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