Heavenly Computer Contest

Heavenly Computer Contest

This is a discussion on Heavenly Computer Contest within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; All in good fun... ========================================= Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on the computer. They had been going at ...

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Thread: Heavenly Computer Contest

  1. #1
    VIP Member Array JonInNY's Avatar
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    Jan 2008
    Mid-Hudson Valley New York State

    Heavenly Computer Contest

    All in good fun...
    Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on the computer. They had been going at it for days, and frankly God was tired of hearing all the bickering.

    Finally fed up, God said, 'THAT'S IT! I have had enough. I am going to set up a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I will judge who does the better job.'

    So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away.

    They moused.

    They faxed.

    They e-mailed.

    They e-mailed with attachments.

    They downloaded.

    They did spreadsheets.

    They wrote reports.

    They created labels and cards.

    They created charts and graphs.

    They did some genealogy reports.

    They did every job known to man.

    Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency and Satan was faster than hell.

    Then, ten min utes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course, the power went off..

    Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld.

    Jesus just sighed.

    Finally the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted their computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming:

    'It's gone! It's all GONE! 'I lost everything when the power went out!'

    Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours of work.

    Satan observed this and became irate.

    'Wait!' he screamed. 'That's not fair! He cheated! How come he has all his work and I don't have any?'

    God just shrugged and said,

    "Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch; Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote."
    -- Benjamin Franklin

  2. #2
    Distinguished Member Array Bob The Great's Avatar
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    Sep 2006
    Slidell, LA
    corny, but good
    "A well-educated electorate, being necessary to the continuance of a free state, the right of the people to keep and read books shall not be infringed."
    Is this hard to understand? Then why does it get unintelligible to some people when 5 little words are changed?

  3. #3
    Senior Member Array Duisburg's Avatar
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    Jun 2007
    Duisburg, Germany
    Quote Originally Posted by JonInNY View Post
    That is a GREAT song by Slayer!!

    I am sworn to protect the Constitution of the U.S.A. from all threats both foreign and domestic.

  4. #4
    Member Array 2AMomma's Avatar
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    Oct 2007
    That is one of my all time favorites!! Thanks!
    "A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed."

    "SA is a cognitive state or process associated with the assessment of multiple environmental cues in a dynamic situation" ~ Isaac

  5. #5
    VIP Member Array JAT40's Avatar
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    Jul 2008
    That's great, called the wife over she enjoyed it too!

  6. #6
    VIP Member Array ExactlyMyPoint's Avatar
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    Sep 2006
    Portland, OR

    I should have guess the ending.
    Preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse or Rapture....whichever comes first.

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