Chuck Norris Jokes

This is a discussion on Chuck Norris Jokes within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Originally Posted by ccw9mm Though, you'd think it's high time he ratchet down the grit on his bathroom tissue ... from 20 grit to about ...

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Thread: Chuck Norris Jokes

  1. #16
    VIP Member Array goldshellback's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ccw9mm View Post
    Though, you'd think it's high time he ratchet down the grit on his bathroom tissue ... from 20 grit to about 200. Couldn't hurt.
    That's funny right there!
    "Just getting a concealed carry permit means you haven't commited a crime yet. CCP holders commit crimes." Daniel Vice, senior attorney for the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence, quoted on Fox & Friends, 8 Jul, 2008

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  3. #17
    VIP Member Array Paco's Avatar
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    I love the video at the end. I have heard that Chuck thought they were all funny, until someone published a book full of them. He supposedly sued the author and the publisher for using his name without permission.

    I bet his house in Dallas is one of the safest and his ranch which is somewhere in TX is full of ninja cows.
    "Don't hit a man if you can possibly avoid it; but if you do hit him, put him to sleep." - Theodore Roosevelt

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  4. #18
    VIP Member Array ccw9mm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Paco View Post
    I bet his ... [ranch] is full of ninja cows.
    Jiu Jitsu Jersey, Aikido Angus, Hapkido Holstein and Tae Kwon Do Texas Longhorn. All, Wushu. No doubt.
    Your best weapon is your brain. Don't leave home without it.
    Thoughts: Justifiable self defense (A.O.J.).
    Explain: How does disarming victims reduce the number of victims?
    Reason over Force: The Gun is Civilization (Marko Kloos).
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  5. #19
    Distinguished Member Array Paymeister's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Paco View Post
    ...and his ranch ... is full of ninja cows.
    But... if you went to visit, would you see them?
    Attached Images

  6. #20
    VIP Member Array Paco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Paymeister View Post
    But... if you went to visit, would you see them?
    Not until it's too late
    "Don't hit a man if you can possibly avoid it; but if you do hit him, put him to sleep." - Theodore Roosevelt

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  7. #21
    Member Array Henmeister's Avatar
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    Hi, I'm new here, and Paymeister's wife. I carry, too.

    We have been laughing at the jokes here, and continued while moving telephone poles in the pasture to build a hay despenser for the cows.

    I said, while grunting and sweating to move a pole, "Where is Chuck Norris when you need him? What good is he, anyway?"

    Paymeister replied, "Shhh. He'll hear you."


  8. #22
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    You got that right!
    Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
    THE CHUCK NORRIS FACTS - TOP 100 CHUCK NORRIS JOKES
    Don't give this out to everybody.....it's a best kept secret of mine okay?

  9. #23
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    Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
    It is surely true that you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink. Nor can you make them grateful for your efforts.

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