Have you ever wanted to do something but your spouse said no?

Have you ever wanted to do something but your spouse said no?

This is a discussion on Have you ever wanted to do something but your spouse said no? within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; In my thread on having lunch with an ex-Delta Force, one person mentioned that he wanted to join but his wife said no. Marriage tends ...

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Thread: Have you ever wanted to do something but your spouse said no?

  1. #1
    VIP Member Array ExactlyMyPoint's Avatar
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    Have you ever wanted to do something but your spouse said no?

    In my thread on having lunch with an ex-Delta Force, one person mentioned that he wanted to join but his wife said no.

    Marriage tends to do that. My ex-wife was of the mindset that you get a lowly, no responsibility job, work 8-5, don't excel and just trudge through life. On the other hand, I am an entrepreneur type, always thinking outside the box, take tons of risks and want to fly with the eagles. I had lots of ideas to make lots of money, but she held me back a lot and never wanted to participate. (Don't ask me why we got married. I actually had to delete all the other examples because I didn't want this turning into a gripe session.)

    Marriage is a compromise in lots of respects. Have you ever wanted to do something big but your spouse just said no? How did it resolve? For the guy who didn't join Delta Force, sure he could have been killed or injured, but then again, the training and skills he would have learned would have taken him on a different life pathway.
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    VIP Member Array TN_Mike's Avatar
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    Nope. My wife and I have been together for over 20 years and at no time has either or us held the other back from anything we wanted to try.

    Marriage isn't supposed to be about holding each other back, but about supporting each other in the risks and trials of life.
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    The only thing my wife will object to is me getting a motorcycle. My very best friend from college, best man in my wedding, and battle buddy in OIF was killed in a motorcycle accident. Not his fault--he was hit from behind--and the offenders drove off--no license plate. Scene: San Diego--go figure.

    Needless to say, I was pretty upset/jacked-up/however you want to put it for a long while. I'll say her objections are pretty valid. But--motorcycles are cheaper on gas.
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    Nope. She never has.
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    Senior Member Array DrLewall's Avatar
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    I cant get my wife to bungi jump with me!..other than that, I pretty much do what I want..
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  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by exactlymypoint View Post
    In my thread on having lunch with an ex-Delta Force, one person mentioned that he wanted to join but his wife said no.

    Marriage tends to do that. My ex-wife was of the mindset that you get a lowly, no responsibility job, work 8-5, don't excel and just trudge through life. On the other hand, I am an entrepreneur type, always thinking outside the box, take tons of risks and want to fly with the eagles. I had lots of ideas to make lots of money, but she held me back a lot and never wanted to participate. (Don't ask me why we got married. I actually had to delete all the other examples because I didn't want this turning into a gripe session.)

    Marriage is a compromise in lots of respects. Have you ever wanted to do something big but your spouse just said no? How did it resolve? For the guy who didn't join Delta Force, sure he could have been killed or injured, but then again, the training and skills he would have learned would have taken him on a different life pathway.
    People are also put into death's way by airplanes, sidewalks, cars, bicycles, and WalMart parking lots...

    When it's your time, it's your time.

    I feel your pain!/

    After 37 years together, I already know how she thinks about most things...don't understand much of it...but I know how she thinks. I just plain avoid those discussions. She probably does the same. She has her hobbies, I have mine...a few we share.

    I like to watch Fox News, she hates it...
    She likes to watch gay guys make outfits and talk about how 'precious' each other's work is...makes me puke...I just go into the den and watch Fox News.

    She makes jewelry, I like to look at and buy guns. She says I like guns too much. I say, "Well, you wear your jewelry and I'll wear my gun(s), we'll see how each of us works out in the next WalMart parking lot confrontation." That usually ends the discussion.

    My wife is a tremendous woman and she treats me very well. The house is spotless, her meals are better than most restaurants, and most husbands couldn't have it as well as I do (my thinking).

    But you know, I still can't understand how that head of hers really works. Just when I think I've got a fix on her, she destroys the image with some fluke of an idea, or pours buckets of rain on my dream parade...such is life.

    Are there things I would still like to do? Move to the Ozarks, travel full-time in a thirty-foot RV, buy a couple of Ed Brown .45's, sell our subdivision house and get some acreage...and the list goes on...I can live with what we are doing. I may never get to do the other things...just a bucket list with no wealthy friend...Ahhhh, such is life, but I have no regrets.

    Stay armed...dreams keep us going...stay safe!
    Last edited by RETSUPT99; October 5th, 2008 at 11:16 PM.
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    Distinguished Member Array Reborn's Avatar
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    nope
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    Not married. But the people I've been with, and envisioned myself as possibly marrying in the past... Well, they would support me doing something unless it was obviously crazy/dangerous.

    I have always believed that if someone is passionate about something, and they get to pursue that passion, its going to carry over into the rest of their lives. Making your love for eachother more passionate, and sharing in their passion can only be a good thing.

    Also, a real life example of something. One of my ex-girlfriends who I was madly in love with, wanted to go skydiving while she was away at school.

    At first, I was completely worried about this, did some research, tried to convince myself she'd be fine. The truth is, I couldn't do it. I didn't WANT her to skydive, cause I didn't want to risk the chance of losing her. But I SUPPORTED her doing it.

    It worked out, and she said it was one of the best experiences shes ever had. Now I plan on skydiving myself, her description was too much not to experience it myself.

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    VIP Member Array JAT40's Avatar
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    My wife and I both hold veto power over major decisions, we both have to agree or it's a no. So then comes the selling, sucking-up, bartering, manipulation, game-playing, well you get the idea. It all makes marriage fun, we don't sweat the small stuff. Our common goal is a strong successful marriage

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    VIP Member Array sgtD's Avatar
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    Well, I ain't in a uniform and I ain't working for Blackwater, but other than that no. A couple of years back some of my friends and my ex-brother-in-law went to Iraq for a year working for some contractors. They made over 100K and I thought that if I went I could put law school off for a year, and use that money to pay for it.

    The wife said "No way. We'll take out student loans. You are married and have a child. You served your time and you ain't going back. Forget it."

    I think she was right, so I listened to her on that one. Other than that, I pretty much do whatever I want. Of course I don't do stupid stuff out of respect for her and love of my family in general. We get along well and support one another in every way, so it's not a problem here.
    When you've got 'em by the balls, their hearts & minds will follow. Semper Fi.

  11. #11
    Member Array bluedaisy's Avatar
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    Life is too short to say 'no'. I buried my first husband at 22. Since then, I have learned to cherish every moment I have with my now husband, and if he wants to do something I 'deem' stupid, I let him do it. Thankfully, he is not a risk taker. Doesn't matter though...we are not in control, God is.

    I have a great husband, and he does ask my opinion. Really, he is more cautious than I am so we don't have a lot of issues.
    "Let me control the textbooks, and I will control the state." - Adolf Hitler

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    VIP Member Array Paco's Avatar
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    As long as I have thought it through to the best I can and have prayed about it and feel that God is either telling me to, or not telling me no, then she would have no problem with me doing whatever it is.

    I have even tossed around the idea of re-enlisting and she has simply asked that I wait, to get in better shape and for us to complete a plan we have to become debt free by the end of net year. That was her only request, to simply wait a little.
    "Don't hit a man if you can possibly avoid it; but if you do hit him, put him to sleep." - Theodore Roosevelt

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    Distinguished Member Array Paymeister's Avatar
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    Wish I had listened to my wife

    I'm going to answer this in terms of taking my wife's advice, rather than just in terms of her saying 'no'.

    Had I listened to my wife, we would be living in fine fashion right now rather than in a cheap trailer and needing more gravel on the driveway. Of course, our financial woes kept me from spoiling our daughter rotten... but I wish I had listened.

    I'm the king of our household (no choice, that's what Scripture says), but she's my Chief Advisor and Confidant: I also have appointed her Domestic Despot: if she wants shoes off when I come in the door, I'm going to try and remember that and follow her lead. Am I henpecked? Not at all: it's by MY authority that she operates. So far as kingly decisions go, I consult her - I would be a fool not to! God created Eve because Adam needed her, and gave me my wife because I need her. Does she get it wrong sometimes? Sure! But do the math: her vetos have kept me from this fun or that business opportunity... but have also saved me untold grief because she's usually right and I can often talk myself into really stupid positions. I treasure her advice, and don't want to do anything to bruise our relationship.

    Note that she carries, too, and supported the decision to put our daughter in Krav Maga classes, get her into a pistol class, and provide her with her own Bersa .380 and Beretta 22. You bet I'll take her advice!

  14. #14
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    Mine says no more than yes, but I do tend to be impulsive and she is smarter than I... However, I do have a history of doing what I want anyway, within reason. Being impulsive doesnt make me stupid, I've pulled off more crazy stuff than Barnum and Bailey, so she rarely gets mad when I go against her no and do something anyway.

    Right now I'm beating the war drum for a new bird dog; she keeps shutting me down, but I'll win eventually.
    "Just blame Sixto"

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    Senior Member Array cwblanco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by exactlymypoint View Post
    Have you ever wanted to do something but your spouse said no?
    Almost nightly.

    In my thread on having lunch with an ex-Delta Force, one person mentioned that he wanted to join but his wife said no.
    Now that I have read all of the first message, it is time for the more serious answer. This debate usually comes up when we desparately want to buy something that was not in our budget. It typically is described in this dialogue:

    HUSBAND: When did you get that dress? I don't recall seeing it before.

    WIFE: Oh, I bought that a couple years ago. I am suprised that you had not noticed. [Fact: I know she bought it last month].

    HUSBAND: That's nice.

    WIFE [later]: When did you get that gun. I don't recall ever seeing that one?

    HUSBAND: Oh, I made a trade for it at a gun show a couple years ago. Got a heck of a deal for it. Cost me almost nothing and it was almost new. [Fact: Bought it new last week].

    WIFE: You already have too many guns. Oh well, the kids will get them someday anyway.

    ============

    After 46 years we get along great because we don't mess with each other's stuff.

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