Think like a professional

Think like a professional

This is a discussion on Think like a professional within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; This quiz consists of four questions that tell you whether or not you are qualified to be a professional. SCROLL DOWN FOR THE ANSWERS. There ...

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Thread: Think like a professional

  1. #1
    VIP Member Array ExactlyMyPoint's Avatar
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    Think like a professional

    This quiz consists of four questions that tell you whether or not you are qualified to be a professional. SCROLL DOWN FOR THE ANSWERS. There is no need to cheat.

    The questions are not that difficult. You just need to think like a professional.

    1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?

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    The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe and close the door. This question tests whether or not you are doing simple things in a complicated way.

    2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?

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    Incorrect answer: Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant and shut the refrigerator.

    Correct answer: Open the refrigerator, take out of the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This question tests your foresight.



    3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend?

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    Correct answer: The elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator! This tests if you are capable of comprehensive thinking. OK, if you did not answer the last three questions correctly, this one may be your last chance to test your qualifications to be a professional.



    4. There is a river filled with crocodiles. How do you cross it?

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    Correct Answer: Simply swim through it. All the crocodiles are attending the animal meeting! This question tests your reasoning ability.

    So...

    If you answered four out of four questions correctly, you are a true professional. Wealth and success await you.

    If you answered three out of four, you have some catching up to do but there's hope for you.

    If you answered two out of four, consider a career as a hamburger flipper in a fast food joint.

    If you answered one out of four, try selling some of your organs. It's the only way you will ever make any money.

    If you answered none correctly, consider a career that does not require any higher mental functions at all, such as law or politics.
    Preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse or Rapture....whichever comes first.


  2. #2
    Ex Member Array Ram Rod's Avatar
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    I think I could get $10,000 for one of my kidneys!

  3. #3
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    4. There is a river filled with crocodiles. How do you cross it?

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    Correct Answer: Simply swim through it. All the crocodiles are attending the animal meeting! This question tests your reasoning ability.

    So...

    Your answer is wrong. The question was preface with a statement that the river was filled with crocodiles. Therefore swimming would be dangerous. Are you assuming the crocodiles are at the meeting? Is the meeting over? Did they leave early? Of the two statements which is correct? All the animals are at the meeting except the elephant which is in the refrigerator or the river is filled with crocodiles. Depending on which statement you choose it could get interesting.
    Eric

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  4. #4
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    I would have paid some flunky to worry about the giraffe and elephant, and my secretary would have worried about the logistics of getting me across the river. But, she being a professional, would have arranged for me to fly or cross by boat.
    "Just blame Sixto"

  5. #5
    VIP Member Array PatrioticRick's Avatar
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    So chopping up the Giraffe and then putting it in the refrigerator is that right or wrong?
    It was still in the refrigerator.

    Why do you have to take the Giraffe out to get the Elephant in?
    Could be a big refrigerator.

    The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. Where? in the river maybe, because the crocodiles can't be at two places at the same time.
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  6. #6
    VIP Member Array JonInNY's Avatar
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    There is a river filled with crocodiles. How do you cross it?
    As mentioned previously, the statement is in the present tense. Therefore, you don't know for sure if the crocodiles are there.

    Some may have stayed home, depending if it was a democratic or republican animal conference.
    "Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch; Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote."
    -- Benjamin Franklin

  7. #7
    VIP Member Array Paco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PatrioticRick View Post
    because the crocodiles can't be at two places at the same time.
    That is what I keep telling my Boss about my project list Maybe I should just go swim with the crocodiles.
    "Don't hit a man if you can possibly avoid it; but if you do hit him, put him to sleep." - Theodore Roosevelt

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  8. #8
    Member Array seedoubleyou's Avatar
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    There is a river filled with crocodiles. How do you cross it?
    Ummmmm.... I ain't crossin that damn river... Nope, no way....
    That's my final answer.
    Now the only question is whether I should start attending law school or enter the Presidential race.
    CW

  9. #9
    Senior Member Array XD in SC's Avatar
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    4. There is a river filled with crocodiles. How do you cross it?
    All of you are thinking incorrectly on this............

    it is filled with crocodiles..... meaning you can walk right across them. If it is full of crocs, then they can't move to get to you.

    Or is this test just full of it?
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  10. #10
    Senior Member Array XD in SC's Avatar
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    My true first response to #4 was "Why do I need to cross it?? What is so darned important that I have to be on the other side?
    Sean
    XD 9SC | XD 45ACP Service | XD 45ACP Compact |Borealis
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  11. #11
    VIP Member Array grady's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by seedoubleyou View Post
    Now the only question is whether I should start attending law school or enter the Presidential race.
    CW
    Would you mind sending me any law school brochures once you are finished with them?

  12. #12
    Senior Member Array bobcat35's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by exactlymypoint View Post
    4. There is a river filled with crocodiles. How do you cross it?
    uh... walk across the bridge.
    "Nothing in life is so exhilarating as to be shot at without result."
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  13. #13
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    Kill, butcher and package the giraffe. Put in fridge.
    Eat giraffe.
    Kill, butcher and package the elephant. Put in fridge.
    Eat elephant longer.
    Animals can't call meetings. Trick question?
    Walk across the bridge to cross the river. Duh!

    Ok so I went back and read what the answers were supposed to tell you.

    This was obviously written by some HR wonks or management idiots who are totally clueless about how the world works. I'll chalk it up to the same morons that came up with asking candidates, "If you were an animal, what would you be and why?" Last time I checked I am an animal. I always thought it was some stupid trick question.

    These tests are useful to the people that think they mean something I guess.
    Procrastinators are the leaders of tomorrow.

  14. #14
    Senior Member Array MilitaryPower's Avatar
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    A better question for number 4 would be: "There is a river in which many crocodiles live. You must cross through this river. How do you do it?
    Gun control can be blamed in part for allowing 9/11 to happen.
    "Si Vis Pacem Para Bellum" (Latin)- "If you want peace, prepare for war".

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