Appropriate Holiday Wishes

Appropriate Holiday Wishes

This is a discussion on Appropriate Holiday Wishes within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; To My Lawyer Friends: Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration ...

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  1. #1
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    Appropriate Holiday Wishes

    To My Lawyer Friends:

    Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2006, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western hemisphere. And without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee. By accepting these greetings you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for herself or himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

    (No, I didnít write it, but a few years ago I might have!)


    To Everyone Else:

    Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

    Best,
    Jon
    "You may not know it, but there's things that gnaw at a man worse than dyin'."

    Charles Travis Postlewaite, 1882


  2. #2
    VIP Member Array Redneck Repairs's Avatar
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    ROFLMA thands for that i unabasshadly stole it and sent it out

  3. #3
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    Yep, that's what I did too!
    "You may not know it, but there's things that gnaw at a man worse than dyin'."

    Charles Travis Postlewaite, 1882

  4. #4
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    Love it Jon

    From this fella - heretofore and hereafter known as ''ol' phart'', and not in any way related to any aforementioned persons of gender unknown, hereby states that as of Clause III, subsection 1b (revised) - all present are (subject to judiciary discretion) to undertake extremes of festivities and celebration - not withstanding excessive imbibing of alcolic beverages to excess, concommitant with a requirement to be sought by enforcement officials and thus be subject to due process.

    Otherwise - Merry Christmas y'all
    Chris - P95
    NRA Certified Instructor & NRA Life Member.

    "To own a gun and assume that you are armed
    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."


    http://www.rkba-2a.com/ - a portal for 2A links, articles and some videos.

  5. #5
    Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by P95Carry

    ''ol' phart''
    "Ph" instead of "f", huh? That looks like Napoleonic-Code law. Didn't know you hailed from Louisiana.

    You probably also have a dog named Phideaux.

    Best,
    Jon
    "You may not know it, but there's things that gnaw at a man worse than dyin'."

    Charles Travis Postlewaite, 1882

  6. #6
    VIP Member Array Bud White's Avatar
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    Good stuff

  7. #7
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    You probably also have a dog named Phideaux.
    No Jon - a cat called Phelix
    Chris - P95
    NRA Certified Instructor & NRA Life Member.

    "To own a gun and assume that you are armed
    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."


    http://www.rkba-2a.com/ - a portal for 2A links, articles and some videos.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by P95Carry
    No Jon - a cat called Phelix
    Phelix Navidad perhaps?
    "You may not know it, but there's things that gnaw at a man worse than dyin'."

    Charles Travis Postlewaite, 1882

  9. #9
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    Thumbs up Thanks BigJon

    Well, I sure swiped it too.
    That was great!

  10. #10
    Senior Member Array Super Trucker's Avatar
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    Thats great.

  11. #11
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    Lawyers got to much time on their hands!
    Rick

    EOD - Initial success or total failure

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by rstickle
    Lawyers got to much time on their hands!

    Yep - and at an hourly rate!
    "You may not know it, but there's things that gnaw at a man worse than dyin'."

    Charles Travis Postlewaite, 1882

  13. #13
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    Haha - just off with wife to see ours - gotta get our wills sorted out - morbid necessity!
    Chris - P95
    NRA Certified Instructor & NRA Life Member.

    "To own a gun and assume that you are armed
    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."


    http://www.rkba-2a.com/ - a portal for 2A links, articles and some videos.

  14. #14
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    Just had to add the following, an additional Chrismas wish I received today:

    "May Santa have a soft landing on your roof so that the goodies you asked for do not detonate prematurely, scattering reindeer parts for hundreds of yards."

    Now, THAT is TRULY the most touching - and applicable - holiday wish I have ever, ever received.

    Best,
    Jon
    "You may not know it, but there's things that gnaw at a man worse than dyin'."

    Charles Travis Postlewaite, 1882

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