New Stock Market Terms

New Stock Market Terms

This is a discussion on New Stock Market Terms within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer. CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer. BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius. ...

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Thread: New Stock Market Terms

  1. #1
    VIP Member Array JonInNY's Avatar
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    Wink New Stock Market Terms

    CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer.

    CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer.

    BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

    VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.

    P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.

    BROKER -- What I am compared to a year ago.

    STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.

    STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

    FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

    MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.

    CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

    YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.

    WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.

    INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.

    PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use.
    "Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch; Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote."
    -- Benjamin Franklin


  2. #2
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    Array msgt/ret's Avatar
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    Those really fit the current stock market situation.

  3. #3
    Distinguished Member Array tinkerinWstuff's Avatar
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    P/E index - I love it!!
    "Run for your life from the man who tells you that money is evil. That sentence is the leper's bell of an approaching looter. So long as men live together on earth and need means to deal with one another-their only substitute, if they abandon money, is the muzzle of a gun."

    Who is John Galt?

  4. #4
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    None of the terms refer to the use of any vasoline?
    The last Blood Moon Tetrad for this millennium starts in April 2014 and ends in September 2015...according to NASA.

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    Yes, it is called BAILOUT
    You have to make the shot when fire is smoking, people are screaming, dogs are barking, kids are crying and sirens are coming.
    Randy Cain.

    Ego will kill you. Leave it at home.
    Signed: Me!

  6. #6
    Senior Member Array jeephipwr's Avatar
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    I think I suffered the P/E ratio when I looked at my IRA and 401k balances,

  7. #7
    VIP Member Array ccw9mm's Avatar
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    Welcome to the "new economy".

    The Internet and the New Economy

    Alan S. Blinder

    J u n e 2 0 0 0

    no. 60

    1775 Massachusetts Ave. N.W. • Washington, DC 20036-2188 • Tel: 202-797-6105 • Brookings - Quality. Independence. Impact.

    The generally superior macroeconomic performance of recent years—especially the more favorable combination of low inflation, low unemployment, and the apparent acceleration of productivity growth—is commonly attributed to the effects of information technology (IT) in general, and of the Internet in particular. This paper examines the evidence for and against the following four propositions:

    • Productivity growth in the U.S. economy has speeded up.
    • Advances in IT are the driving force behind this acceleration in productivity.
    • Because of faster productivity growth, the U.S. economy can now sustain a higher
    growth rate without suffering from higher inflation.
    • The Federal Reserve should therefore pursue a looser monetary policy than it would with slower productivity growth.

    In brief, are we in a New Economy?

    It is impossible to make a definitive judgement until sufficient time passes to gain some historical perspective, but some evidence points to a recent acceleration of productivity growth—and therefore, of sustainable Gross Domestic Product (GDP) growth—at about the time the Internet was diffusing rapidly through the economy. At minimum, that’s an interesting coincidence.

    ... and so on.
    Yeah. It's "new," alright.

    Those "candlestick" charts you're used to reading? If the markets keep crashing, the only thing the candlesticks would be good for is to set fire to the charts ... only, they're not real. Welcome to a virtual world. Really.
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