Funniest thing said to daughter's date... - Page 2

Funniest thing said to daughter's date...

This is a discussion on Funniest thing said to daughter's date... within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; the way i was raised you always shower your date, and her family respect, and all my date's parents saw that in me, so i ...

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Thread: Funniest thing said to daughter's date...

  1. #16
    Member Array mikeprekopa's Avatar
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    the way i was raised you always shower your date, and her family respect, and all my date's parents saw that in me, so i only ever got one "talk"... it was from my last girlfriend's uncle, her dad lives in NY and her uncle is even more protective of her than her father...

    his line was the classic "i have been to jail twice, and if its for my daughter or niece, i have no problem going back"
    just the way he said it, i thought i swallowed a golf ball.

    so later that day i asked her if her uncle had ever gone to jail and she burst out laughing. (he hadn't, and she knew the line)
    NREMT-B

    "Dead is dead"
    "Yea, till we show up with jumper cables and drugs to debate it"


  2. #17
    Distinguished Member Array ArmyCop's Avatar
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    I think it was Bill Engval who said to his daughters date: Just remember son, I don't mind going "back" to prison....
    For God, Family and Country!

  3. #18
    Senior Member Array Holdcard's Avatar
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    I didn't have to worry about that too much, my daughter took care of that. Only once did I say something to her, and we never saw him again.

    Every new boy she would bring home the first thing she'd ask is "Daddy, can I show him the guns?". Her dates were always very respectful. I love being subtle.

    Holdcard
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  4. #19
    Distinguished Member Array Reborn's Avatar
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    I remember looking down a 10 gauge shotgun when I was dating one young lady.......it had a lasting effect. I found out a 45 has the same effect when my daughter was dating. My son in law once told me he was to big to whip.......I told him yea but your a big target.
    Psalms 144:1
    Blessed be the Lord my strength, which teacheth my hands to war, and my fingers to fight.
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  5. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by ccman View Post
    SIXTO. You should have told him it was empty.

    Sixto. Maybe I will use that one the next time and wait for the reaction.
    I think the phrase should be "It is empty...... Right now!".
    Rick

    EOD - Initial success or total failure

  6. #21
    VIP Member Array David in FL's Avatar
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    My daughter's only 8, so it's still a few years off, but I intend to take each young man out back and show off the beautiful view of the Florida wetlands behind our house. I'll then offer to him that "not only do I have a swamp, I also have a shotgun and a shovel!"
    "Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in a grey twilight that knows not victory nor defeat."

    Theodore Roosevelt

  7. #22
    Distinguished Member Array Paymeister's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by archer51 View Post
    I hope you fill the holes in after your done!

    The date should help...

  8. #23
    Member Array jdivence's Avatar
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    Back in HS i went on a date with a girl whose dad pulled me aside and said " if you hurt her i will rip your head off" that was the first and last date with that girl.

  9. #24
    Member Array 2AMomma's Avatar
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    Just curious for those of you who only dated "that" girl once - why?

    We have boys, but they are being groomed to know how to treat girls with the utmost respect. Oh and they aren't allowed to date until they are ~18 and we "get to know" the girl...
    "A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed."


    "SA is a cognitive state or process associated with the assessment of multiple environmental cues in a dynamic situation" ~ Isaac

  10. #25
    Member Array dralarms's Avatar
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    I found out my daughter's date tried to get a little too advanced. I drove to his house, he met me in the driveway and I told him that if he ever touched my daughter again I would rip his arms off and beat him to death with the bloody ends. The boy turned white and have never come with 100 yrds of me since.

  11. #26
    VIP Member Array Eagleks's Avatar
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    I jokingly asked a guy going out the first time with my daughter ....
    "Do you know the difference between a shotgun and a rifle ? ".

    He looked at me funny, and I told him ... "if you mess with my daughter , the rifle is in case I miss with the shotgun ".

    She said he was nervous all night long. He never asked her out again.

  12. #27
    Member Array chuck brick's Avatar
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    I never really made any threats, but at dinner one night ("The Couple", his family, and my family all together at a restaurant) I pulled a round out of my spare magazine and handed it to him. He read the bottom (.45acp+P), looked at the hole in the end (SXT), and said "0h. OK." I told him he could just keep it - I had plenty more.
    He has never been less than a polite, respectful young man.
    They got married a couple weeks ago.

    A lady friend of mine said her Dad would sit on the edge of the couch in his boxers and "wife-beater" shirt, eating ice cream from the carton with a big wooden (stirring) spoon. Never spoke, just sat there right in front of the TV (turned real loud), hunkerred over his ice cream and glaring around the room like a paranoid foil-hat-wearer ready to launch.
    She rarely had second dates.

    My wife's father told me that if I'd park a little closer to the house (lived out in the country), he'd load all her stuff into the truck for me while I was watching TV with her. Might even leave a little money on the seat for the JP if I'd cooperate.
    Been married 28 years this month.

    Stay safe,

    Chuck Brick.
    Why do I use 230 gr. for my .45acp?
    Because I can't find a source of 250 gr!
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  13. #28
    Member Array chuckE's Avatar
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    I always envision me sitting in the living room in my boxers and wifebeaters cleaning my guns as a date shows up. LOL
    Bitter and clinging to my guns and my religion.

  14. #29
    Ex Member Array FN1910's Avatar
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    My wife's father told me that if I'd park a little closer to the house (lived out in the country), he'd load all her stuff into the truck for me while I was watching TV with her. Might even leave a little money on the seat for the JP if I'd cooperate.
    Been married 28 years this month.
    LOL at that one. I had a friend that told his future son-in-law "Don't worry about a ladder, it's one story house and the back door is much simpler".

    My Father-in-law (from NC) never did forgive me for taking his daughter off to the land of heathens (SC). My Mother-in-law was thrilled because she knew what I was going to have to put up with.

  15. #30
    Member Array LiveLFF's Avatar
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    When you know a date is coming to pick up your daughter, just bring out a shotgun, or something like that, and start rubbing and polishing it all nice and shiny.

    When they walk in the door don't even say a word, just hold the gun up and say, 'Gotta keep 'em clean, cause sometimes it gets reeeaaaalll messy'. Then just grin really widely while nodding at the guy and state your curfew, 'Be home by 9:30'.

    And go back to polishing.

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