Police Officer Monkeys

Police Officer Monkeys

This is a discussion on Police Officer Monkeys within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; A man walks into a pet store and is looking around when he spots a chimpanzee in a cage marked, "$1000". The man looks a ...

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Thread: Police Officer Monkeys

  1. #1
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    Police Officer Monkeys

    A man walks into a pet store and is looking around when he spots a chimpanzee in a cage marked, "$1000". The man looks a little closer and discovers that the chimpanzee is wearing a tie and a hat and is twirling a set of handcuffs around his finger. Curious, the man summons the shopkeeper and asks him what the deal is with this thousand-dollar monkey.

    "Sir, You have discovered our Police Officer Monkeys. This one is our basic Patrol version. It's got a POST Basic certification; can fire 'Expert' with a Glock, Remington 870, or an AR15; knows the Penal Code and Traffic Code by heart and is up-to-date on Cultural Diversity and Active Shooter Response. Very good value for a thousand dollars!"

    The man is suitably impressed and moves to the next cage, which is occupied by a gorilla - also wearing a hat and tie, but is gnawing on a pen instead of the handcuffs.


    The price on this one is $5000. Shopkeeper exclaims, "Ah, sir! You have discovered the Sergeant model! This one has a POST Advanced certification, is capable of training any other monkeys in basic firearms skills, mechanics of arrest, physical training, investigation and small unit tactics! It can even type! Very good value for five thousand, sir!"

    Impressed, the man moves to the last cage. Inside, he finds an orangutan, dressed in the same hat and tie as the others, but holding only a coffee cup. "What does this one do that he's worth $12,000?" asks the man.

    The shopkeeper clears his throat, "Ah, sir, well, um.... we have never actually seen him do anything except drink coffee and play with his private parts, but he says he's a Lieutenant."
    Sometimes in life you have to stand your ground. It's a hard lesson to learn and even most adults don't get it, but in the end only I can be responsible for my life. If faced with any type of adversity, only I can overcome it. Waiting for someone else to take responsibility is a long fruitless wait.


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    kind of reminds me of my military days!
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    MGD
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    I'm temped to send this to one of my professors who's a lieutenant

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    Archer you beat me to the punch, how true!
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    I once worked for that Lieutenant...


    When you’re wounded and left on Afghanistan’s plains,
    And the women come out to cut up what remains,
    Just roll to your rifle and blow out your brains,
    And go to your God like a soldier.

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    Terry

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    all good... LOL
    " Refuse to be a victim, make sure there is a round chambered ! "

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    You LEO's should make a large copy and post it in the squad room
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    --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC .

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    LOL! That's funny stuff right there!

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    My sargent buddy got it.


    That's funny!
    "Just getting a concealed carry permit means you haven't commited a crime yet. CCP holders commit crimes." Daniel Vice, senior attorney for the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence, quoted on Fox & Friends, 8 Jul, 2008

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    That joke would work in most lines of work.....it sure works in education...I was an Orangutan...
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    "A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on."
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    Hmmmm

    I must give that to a friend of mine whom is a retired Sheriff Lt.

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    that would be perfect if I could turn that into a firefighter joke. I have three lieutenants like that.

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    wpk
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    Quote Originally Posted by jbone View Post
    that would be perfect if I could turn that into a firefighter joke. I have three lieutenants like that.

    Only three? Man, I'm working for the wrong dept.
    "America is a nation of laws; poorly written and randomly enforced." -Frank Zappa

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