Installing a husband

Installing a husband

This is a discussion on Installing a husband within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; INSTALLING A HUSBAND Dear Tech Support, This year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system ...

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Thread: Installing a husband

  1. #1
    Senior Member Array fernset's Avatar
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    Installing a husband

    INSTALLING A HUSBAND
    Dear Tech Support,


    This year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

    In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
    Romance 9.5 and
    Personal Attention 6.5,

    and then installed undesirable programs such as
    NBA 5.0,
    NFL 3.0 and
    Golf Clubs 4.1.

    Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

    Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

    What can I do?

    Signed,

    Desperate.


    DEAR DESPERATE,

    First, keep in mind,
    Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
    Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

    Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
    If that application works as designed, Husband1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

    However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.
    Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

    Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

    In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program.These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

    In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend
    Cooking 3.0 and
    Hot Lingerie 7.7.

    Good Luck Babe!

    Tech Support


  2. #2
    Ex Member Array Ram Rod's Avatar
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    LOL! Don't forget to do frequent maintenance on your programs, restart your system after updates have been downloaded, and look into one of the better anti-virus/anti spyware programs available. Don't forget ctrl/alt/del to end any unwanted application. Clean and defrag your disc often to keep your system running smoothly, empty the recycle bin, and delete all temporary files which are unnecessary for peak system operation. Good luck!

  3. #3
    VIP Member Array wmhawth's Avatar
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    Loved it.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Array fernset's Avatar
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    Yeah. My gf sent it to me. She thought I'd get a good laugh about it. So of course I though all you would.

  5. #5
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    That's great thanks for posting.
    Turn the election's in 2014 to a "2A Revolution". It will serve as a 1994 refresher not to "infringe" on our Second Amendment. We know who they are now.........SEND 'EM HOME. Our success in this will be proportional to how hard we work to make it happen.

  6. #6
    VIP Member Array goldshellback's Avatar
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    Very Good One!
    "Just getting a concealed carry permit means you haven't commited a crime yet. CCP holders commit crimes." Daniel Vice, senior attorney for the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence, quoted on Fox & Friends, 8 Jul, 2008

    (Sometimes) "a fight avioded is a fight won." ... claude clay

  7. #7
    VIP Member Array Ridgeline's Avatar
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    A Great laugh... thanks for sharing.
    "Eternity is Too Long to be Wrong"

    Texas CHL Instructor & Holder & Utah CFP Instructor
    NRA Instructor & Life Member
    Member TSRA, USCCA, TCHA
    Christian, Heterosexual, Pro-2A, Pro-Life, Conservative, Common Sense American

  8. #8
    VIP Member Array Eagleks's Avatar
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    Since my daughter is getting married in about 7 months, I sent a copy of this to her..... thought she better get prepared.

    I also told her, take whatever things he does now that you don't like, magnify them by 10 and if you think you can deal with it, then you are OK.

    She just says, as long as he doesn't get as crazy as my EX (her mother) does, she thinks she's fine.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Array TheShadow's Avatar
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    Most BIOS (Basic Input Output System) works flawless on Beer 6.1
    Beer in Beer out! A good .ZIP app is a must or you may experience
    a damaged Floppy then be forced to use DrWatson.exe for repairs!
    After repair protection is a must to keep from contracting a worm virus.

    Just remember Ladies WYSIWYG always applies!

  10. #10
    Restricted Member Array SelfDefense's Avatar
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    Equal time required

    Upgrading to Wife 1.0

    Last year a friend of mine upgraded from Girlfriend 4.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that it's a memory hog leaving few system resources for other applications. He is also now noticing the Wife 1.0 is also spawning Child-processes which are further consuming valuable resources. No mention of this particular phenomenon was included in the product documentation, though other users have informed me that this is to be expected due to the nature of the application.

    Not only that, Wife 1.0 installs itself so that it is always launched at system initialization where it can monitor all other system activity. Some applications such as PokerNite 10.3 , Bachelor Party 2.5, and Pubnite 7.0 are no longer able to run on the system at all, causing the system to lockup when launched (even though the apps worked fine before).

    Wife 1.0 provides no installation options. Thus, the installation of undesired plug-ins such as Mother-in-law 55.8 and the Brother-in-law Beta is unavoidable. Also, system performance seems to diminish with each passing day.

    Some features my friend would like to see in the upcoming
    Wife 2.0:

    A "don't remind me again" button.

    Minimize button.

    Ability to delete the "headache" file

    An install feature that provides an option to uninstall 2.0 version without loss loss of other system resources.
    An option to run the network driver in "promiscuous mode" allowing the the system's Hardware Probe feature to be much more useful/effective.

    I myself wish I had decided to avoid all of the headaches associated with Wife 1.0 by sticking with Girlfriend 3.0 Even here, however, I have found many problems. Apparently you cannot install Girlfriend 4.0 on top of girlfriend 3.0. You must uninstall Girlfriend 3.0 first, otherwise the two versions of Girlfriend will have conflicts over shared use of the I/O port. Other users have told me that this is a long-standing problem that I should have been aware of. Guess that explains what happened to versions 1 and 2.

    To make matters worse, the uninstall program for Girlfriend 3.0 doesn't work very well, leaving undesirable traces of the application in the system. Another identified problem is that all versions of Girlfriend have annoying little messages about the advantages of upgrading to Wife 1.0!

    VIRUS ALERT

    All users should be aware that Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug. If you try to install Mistress 1.1 before uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself. Once that happens, Mistress 1.1 won't install and you will get an "insufficient resources" error message. To avoid the aforementioned bug, try installing Mistress 1.1 on a different system and " never" run any file transfer applications(such as Laplink) between the two systems.

    FYI: Don't even think about a shared directory!!!!!!!!!

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