Home Invasion - NZ Police Instructions

[heylin]

This is actually real, but its so funny I had to post it in this section.

In response to an email I sent to New Zealand Police about what to do if I awake to find a knife or bat weidling intruder in my home.

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Emergency action

Try to avoid any contact with the intruder.

Mabey he wont see me if I hide under the bed

Telephone the Police on 111 at the earliest opportunity that it is safe to do so.

Excuse me sir can you please put your knife down while I call the police, nice burgler

A quick decision must be made to either secure yourself (children) in a safe room, or to escape from the home.

Because every room has an outside door, yeah right

If you decide to secure yourself in a safe room, telephone your neighbours as well as the Police.

*** are my neighbours gonna do ? shout at the intruder as well ?

If you do encounter the intruder, try and move out of the way.

Oh im sorry did I disturb you, please let me get out of your way so you can continue stabbing and raping me.

Call out to somebody else in the house to telephone the Police, even if you are alone.

Because your imaginary friend can actually pick up a phone

You can attract attention by breaking windows and shouting loudly things like "Go away", "Get out of my home", "Somebody call the Police".

And this will stop the person killing you how ? mabey they will think you are a raving lunatic and leave you alone

If you cannot avoid the intruder and shouting and making a noise has no effect, an alternative is to make yourself calm, then in a firm manner tell the intruder to leave. Being assertive is an important self defence technique.

Ooooo harsh words now thats going to scare an armed intruder

Display a confident manner, hold your head up, pull your shoulders back, stand tall.

Becuase this will make you an easier target

Be prepared to physically defend yourself. The most vulnerable parts of an attacker's body are the eyes, nose and genital area.

Hand to hand combat 101, wow I feel so empowered now with this information, Chuck Norris look out

You are allowed to use force against your attacker when defending yourself, but be aware that if you use something as a weapon in self defence, it could be turned against you.

If I could legally use my preferred weapon of choice my answer to this would be, How can said intruder take my weapon when he has no brain matter left in his skull cavity.

You can find out about self defence classes in your area.

Yeah its called your local gun club

During an emergency activate any available, fitted, remote or personal alarm system when it is practicable and safe to do so.

Hmmm the common theme seems to be noise here, a 9mm or .45 is pretty loud too mabey that will scare them away.

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** NOTE \ Disclaimer ** All comments written for humours purposes only and may not represent my actual views on self defense.

[DefensiveCarry.com]

[dukalmighty]

What the heck do the cops smoke there,and ask them to prove that any of their suggestions have ever worked

[heylin]

What the heck do the cops smoke there,and ask them to prove that any of their suggestions have ever worked

Most of the problem comes from higher up, front line cops want more powers to protect people and for people to protect themselves. Our police force higher up (senior officers, police commission, justice department) have all been made political and are so far detached from reality that this is the outcome. A F***** joke.

Government is no better, they wont even step in to shake up these corrupt, reality detached departments.

People here complain to their friends but no one steps up to change anything, when voting time comes we blindly vote in the same 2governements that havent done anything to correct the problem and so the process continues.

Unless we can get our ACT Party into government or another party that looks out for the people we will never change.

[Rock and Glock]

That is just @#$%^&*&^% up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[dr_cmg]

You can find out about self defence classes in your area.

This is the one that gets me the most. Especially since it is in answer to this question: What do I do if I awake to find a knife or bat wielding intruder in my home? Go ahead and ask the attacker if he knows where to get good defense classes. That answer should qualify the person who produced it for prosecution for criminal negligence.

[spooter66]

I think I like our way better.

Hear intruder - pick up gun off nightstand

Quietly sneak out of bedroom and find the little punk(s)

Put bullet between said punks eyes.

Kick them once to make sure they are dead.

Then call 911.

Problem solved and we just saved us tax pays alot of money by not having to hold him in jail.

[500Mag]

How come those responses resemble the movie "Demolition Man". Be well John Spartan.

Excuse me while I go puke.

[walvord]

People here complain to their friends but no one steps up to change anything, when voting time comes we blindly vote in the same 2 governments that havent done anything to correct the problem and so the process continues..

This has a familiar ring to it.

[goldshellback]

This has a familiar ring to it.

Don't it though

[rolyat63]

Well Heylin, YOU are armed with the same weapon the first line police are so you do like them and say "Stop or ...I'll say stop again"

[ghost tracker]

Isn't the National Sport of New Zealand...Sheep Herding?!? Sounds as though they want their citizens to behave like herded sheep as well. If a real canine wolf shows up among the wooly flock, do they suggest offering it an alternative vegetarian entree'? Geez.

[heylin]

Well Heylin, YOU are armed with the same weapon the first line police are so you do like them and say "Stop or ...I'll say stop again"

LOL thats so true.

On a good note I have managed to get the attention of our new minister of Justice, and hope to get a word in his ear about some of the issues I have about NZ justice system and our firearm laws.

He seems like an on to it guy and has already touted some great reforms for our system here such as

- Increased victims rights and compensation
- Life imprisonment for our worst offenders
- Ensuring full sentences are served with no early parole
- Privatising our prison system for better performance

Now hopefully victims rights means the right to defend one self, in fact I would go so far to say "Why does their need to be victims ?" If we had the right to defend ourselves there would be less victims and less criminals. Win Win