October 31st, 2008 11:23 AM
Worlds Best Frutcake Recipe
Worlds Best Fruitcake Recipe
I have tried it. It is great.
Worlds Best Fruitcake Recipe
1 cup butter
1 cup sugar
4 large eggs
1 cup dried fruit
1 tsp baking powder
1 tbl lemon juice
1 cup brown sugar
1 cup nuts
1 or 2 quarts of scotch whiskey
* Before you start, sample the whiskey to check for quality. Good, isn't it? Now go ahead. Select a large mixing bowl, measuring cup, etc. Check the whiskey again as it must be just right. To be sure the whiskey is of the best quality, pour 1 level cup into a glass and drink it as fast as you can. Repeat. With an eclectic mixer, beat 1 cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of sugar and beat the heck out of it again. Meanwhile at this parsnicular point in time, wake sure that the whixey hasn't gone bad while you weren't lookin'. Open second quart if nestessary. Add 2 large eggs, 2 cups of fried druit and beat 'til high. If druit gets stuck in peaters, just pry the monsters loosh with a drewscriver. Example the whikstey again, shecking confistancy. Then shift in 2 cups of salt or destergent or whatever, like anyone gives a %^&*! Chample the whitchey shum more. Shitf in shum lemon zhoosh. Fold in chopped sputter and shrained snuts. Add 100 babblespoons of brown booger or whushever's closhest and mix well. Greash ubben and turn the cakey pan to 350 decrees. Now pour the whole mesh into the washin' machine and set on sinsh shycle. Check dat whixney wunsh more and YOU'RE FINCHED!
"The sword dose not cause the murder, and the maker of the sword dose not bear sin" Rabbi Solomon ben Isaac 11th century
October 31st, 2008 12:43 PM
Absolutely a must share type of recipe.
"Society never advances. It recedes as fast on one side as it gains on the other. It undergoes continual change; but this change is not [an improvement]. For everything that is given, something is taken."
Ralph Waldo Emerson
October 31st, 2008 01:14 PM
When I was a kid I remember we got some fruitcake one year that may have stopped a bullet more effectively than a level 3 trauma plate.
To preserve liberty, it is essential that the whole body of people always possess arms, and be taught alike, especially when young, how to use them...
Richard Henry Lee, 1787
October 31st, 2008 01:55 PM
Whiskey is essential prior to consuming ANY fruitcake...or frutcake. I still have one from 1982 that is a doorstop in the office...the scary thing is that it still looks exactly the same as the day it was forced upon me by my aunt.
HILARIOUS rendition of the recipe, incidentally!
A man in the hands of his enemies is flesh, and shudderingly vulnerable. - author unknown
October 31st, 2008 02:38 PM
I might go for the whiskey, but I shouldn't. There aren't many things in this world I can honestly say I hate, but fruitcake is one of them. The recipe won't make much difference.....LOL!
November 1st, 2008 03:30 PM
Believe it or not:
Society for the Protection and Preservation of Fruitcake
(Although, I never thought that fruitcake needed preservation. I thought they lasted forever)
"Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch; Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote."
-- Benjamin Franklin
November 1st, 2008 03:42 PM
November 1st, 2008 03:47 PM
There you go! Fruitcake IS best preserved and not eaten. If the right mold is used for baking, the fruitcake could easily make a nice Christmas decoration for the front door or to hang on your mailbox just to be 'seasonable'. LOL! Family heirlooms? If preserved well, I could see that also......."look kids, this is the fruitcake aunt Ditsy made in 1995!" "And this one over here was grandma Hossenfeffer's first fruitcake from 1946!" "The fruit still has good color!"
Originally Posted by JonInNY
November 1st, 2008 03:52 PM
Beter enjoy it while you can ... If a new AWB is enacted, fruitcake is likely to be on the banned list
BTW, if it is Scotch, then it is "whisky".
Whiskey is for American stuff as Bourbon, Sour Mash etc.
Not that important, though; after the third glass, you won't know the difference ...
The first rule of a gunfight: "Don't be there !"
The second rule: "Bring enough gun"
jfl (NRA Life Member/Instructor - GOA - IDPA - GSSF - ex-IHMSA)
November 1st, 2008 03:54 PM
Actually, I do enjoy a bit over the Holidays. Everyone bitches about hating it, but everyone eats a little in my house. The whiskey might help!
November 1st, 2008 04:03 PM
That's cool...we all have to nibble a bit in the presence of the cook and give our condolences.....er, ah, I mean praises. For those of us who would like some fruitcake freedom....check this out.
Originally Posted by Eirerogue
Find Freedom from the Dreaded Fruitcake; Cold Stone Creamery Locations across the Country Reward Customers for Turning In Fruitcakes. | North America > United States from AllBusiness.com
SCOTTSDALE, Ariz. -- The history and lore of fruitcake dates back to the early Egyptian times when it was considered an essential food for the afterlife. In fact, for anyone who has received a fruitcake, it may seem like you've been given the very same Egyptian fruitcake from thousands of years ago. Knowing that fruitcakes are so commonly re-gifted, it's alarming to think that nearly 21 million are purchased each year in the United States alone. That's one fruitcake for each person in the state of New York.
In an effort to lighten up the holiday season and provide holiday dessert connoisseurs with a fresh alternative, Cold Stone Creamery is introducing the Fruitcake Freedom initiative. More than 1,200 locations across the country have announced that any ice cream aficionado who turns in a fruitcake throughout the month of December will be rewarded with a $5 discount off any medium 8-inch ice cream cake.
"The family and financial stress of the holiday season often leaves us feeling tired and overwhelmed. It is our hope that Fruitcake Freedom gives people a reason to step back and laugh a little," said Melissa Underwood, Cold Stone Creamery's director of product development. "At the same time, we hope it encourages people to think about starting new traditions when it comes to holiday desserts."
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