3000 yard restraining order!

3000 yard restraining order!

This is a discussion on 3000 yard restraining order! within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; I saw this on my local forum and just had to share. Former Marine Sniper Slapped With 3,000-Yard Restraining Order | The Onion - America's ...

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Thread: 3000 yard restraining order!

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    Senior Member Array joleary223's Avatar
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    3000 yard restraining order!

    I saw this on my local forum and just had to share. Former Marine Sniper Slapped With 3,000-Yard Restraining Order | The Onion - America's Finest News Source


    MACON, GA—Citing Emily Holman's right to feel safe traversing vast open spaces, especially when within visual range of clock towers, parking structures, and tall buildings, a judge awarded the 28-year-old a 3,000-yard restraining order yesterday against her former boyfriend, retired Marine sniper Gordon Lee Blackwood. "When we broke up he started calling me 10 times a day from his job," said Holman, who realized Blackwood's office building, which had an open, flat roof, was only 1,800 yards away. "He had me flinching every time I saw sunlight glinting off any surface within two and a half miles." Blackwood would not comment on the judge's decision, saying only that he still loved Holman and was trying to understand the distance and crosswinds that separated them.
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    Quote Originally Posted by joleary223 View Post
    I saw this on my local forum and just had to share. Former Marine Sniper Slapped With 3,000-Yard Restraining Order | The Onion - America's Finest News Source


    MACON, GA—Citing Emily Holman's right to feel safe traversing vast open spaces, especially when within visual range of clock towers, parking structures, and tall buildings, a judge awarded the 28-year-old a 3,000-yard restraining order yesterday against her former boyfriend, retired Marine sniper Gordon Lee Blackwood. "When we broke up he started calling me 10 times a day from his job," said Holman, who realized Blackwood's office building, which had an open, flat roof, was only 1,800 yards away. "He had me flinching every time I saw sunlight glinting off any surface within two and a half miles." Blackwood would not comment on the judge's decision, saying only that he still loved Holman and was trying to understand the distance and crosswinds that separated them.
    If this guy is a nut job...good luck with that RO!
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    wpk
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    The Onion is always good for a laugh, it's on my daily visit list.
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    VIP Member Array JonInNY's Avatar
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    The Onion is one of my favorites. One of the best satirical sites out there. Sort of like an updated MAD magazine for news!
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    Quote Originally Posted by joleary223 View Post
    ...he still loved Holman and was trying to understand the distance and crosswinds that separated them.

    I bet that made her swoon...

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    Distinguished Member Array coffeecup's Avatar
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    I suspect that not many "nutjobs" make it through sniper school. Those heroes are some of the very finest our society can produce. The "nut" in this case may be the wife or the judge.---or both!

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