So I have to learn not to share info.

So I have to learn not to share info.

This is a discussion on So I have to learn not to share info. within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; The Missus and I went out this morning to do some shopping. In my list was some other small things that could be found at ...

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Thread: So I have to learn not to share info.

  1. #1
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    So I have to learn not to share info.

    The Missus and I went out this morning to do some shopping. In my list was some other small things that could be found at Home Depot and beeswax for bullet lubrication. I could only think of Michael's (arts & craft store) to find the beeswax so we headed there. The wife wanders off checking the Christmas stuff while I go to the candle making area where i find myself pondering why a 10 pond block of white wax (it did not say it in the packaging but it was paraffin) is $8 while one pound of actual beeswax was $17. I guess an employee thought I might be confused so he approached me and asked me if I could help and I asked him to confirm if the big block was indeed paraffin. He said it was and he asked me what I wanted to do: vertical candles, candles in a container, scented. before I could engage my brain, my mouth shoots: "Bullet lubrication."

    I thought the expression "eyes as wide as saucers" was one of those exaggerated cliches... not anymore. The guy said "Is there anything else I can help you with and before I could answer, he was gone. So I finally decide to stay with the beeswax and stroll around the store to find the wife who was talking to another employee about them round decorations that you hang at the door. I announced I was ready to go and the employee told my wife they had a sale on Styrofoam for crafts to which, again my mouth shoots out of control "Styrofoam? Home made napalm!" immediately followed by a deep female elbow in my gut.

    We paid and left. Mrs. Miggy tells me I am nuts for saying crap like that and then I told her about the incident with the beeswax.

    She is going out shopping without me tomorrow. I was also told to do the remaining of my shopping online.
    You have to make the shot when fire is smoking, people are screaming, dogs are barking, kids are crying and sirens are coming.
    Randy Cain.

    Ego will kill you. Leave it at home.
    Signed: Me!


  2. #2
    VIP Member Array AZ Husker's Avatar
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    Never go shopping with your wife. You'll either be embarrassed, or it will cost you a ton of money.
    Treat me good, I'll treat you better. Treat me bad, I'll treat you worse.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Array tbrenke's Avatar
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    I wonder if I can get out of shopping (holding bags) with my wife if I do something like this?
    "I cannot undertake to lay my finger on that article of the Constitution, which granted a right to Congress of expending, on objects of benevolence, the money of their constituents." -1792, James Madison
    There are always too many Democratic, Republican and never enough U.S. congressmen.

  4. #4
    VIP Member Array AZ Husker's Avatar
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    I find flatulence and nose-picking works well for avoiding wife-shopping trips.
    Treat me good, I'll treat you better. Treat me bad, I'll treat you worse.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by AZ Husker View Post
    I find flatulence and nose-picking works well for avoiding wife-shopping trips.
    This is no problem for me when shopping with wifey...I merely speak up, and blame her.
    The last Blood Moon Tetrad for this millennium starts in April 2014 and ends in September 2015...according to NASA.

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  6. #6
    VIP Member Array Ridgeline's Avatar
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    It sounds to me that you may have stumbled onto an new way to get out of going shopping (girl shopping that is) --- opening mouth, and saying something really stupid.
    "Eternity is Too Long to be Wrong"

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  7. #7
    VIP Member Array Paco's Avatar
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    I'll have to remember that the next time someone bugs me in the store and won't take "I'm just lookin'" for an answer.

    Then I'll try the flatulence if I have to along with a little quote from Monty Python of course.
    "Don't hit a man if you can possibly avoid it; but if you do hit him, put him to sleep." - Theodore Roosevelt

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  8. #8
    VIP Member Array AZ Husker's Avatar
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    I don't act that way when alone. I'm a perfect gentleman and a shopping machine! It's only when I have to go do the "does this make me look fat" scenario. If you have to ask, it does.
    Treat me good, I'll treat you better. Treat me bad, I'll treat you worse.

  9. #9
    Member Array Hubs's Avatar
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    I have only been married 2 years and I learned very quickly NOT to shop with my wife!
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  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by retsupt99 View Post
    This is no problem for me when shopping with wifey...I merely speak up, and blame her.
    To paraphrase from the movie Johnny Dangerously, I did that once, only once!
    Insurance did not cover the aftermath.
    You have to make the shot when fire is smoking, people are screaming, dogs are barking, kids are crying and sirens are coming.
    Randy Cain.

    Ego will kill you. Leave it at home.
    Signed: Me!

  11. #11
    Distinguished Member Array coffeecup's Avatar
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    A very brief visit to Sams Club with the "war dept" cost me $392 yesterday. The cart looked like she was stocking up for a time when no food would be available for 10 years.

    "Oh, it is for Thanksgiving Dinner, after all, we are having the kids,grand kids,great grandchild, and my mother at our house this year". was the reply I got for asking the silly question about all that food when the freezers are already stuffed full.

    That is a total of at least 25 "home invaders" that will destroy close to $400 worth of food in about 10 minutes.

    The best part is when children are running wild through the house screaming their lungs out.--I just reach out and grab one and ask-"Who is your daddy?"

    Guess what----we get to do it all over again at Christmas.

    Actually, I LOVE it when we can all be together as a family.

  12. #12
    VIP Member Array farronwolf's Avatar
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    Miggy,

    Thanks for the heads up. Because later today I am going to have to go to Micheals to look for some foam. Since we now have 3 pistols that will be kept in the quick access safe, I am going to have to cut some foam so that the can be placed in it in a standing possition, ready to grab.

    After reading your post, I will have to decide whether or not to try to explain what I am going to do with the foam if asked at the store. Ah, well you know I am going to modify it into a kind of gun rack for pistols so they are easier and quicker to grab to shoot an intruder.

    I guess I shouldn't ask where they keep the domestic napalm.
    Just remember that shot placement is much more important with what you carry than how big a bang you get with each trigger pull.
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  13. #13
    VIP Member Array Supertac45's Avatar
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    Sounds like a plan to me.
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  14. #14
    VIP Member Array Yoda's Avatar
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    I always buy stuff for "projects" at the craft store. If I must ask for help and they ask what I am making I usually say: "Its for a project that would take too long to explain". I am not asking them for advice, just if they have it and where the stuff is.

    I have looked for something to use as bowstring wax there before. I ended up ordering it online.
    Yoda, I am, yes.

  15. #15
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    That's funny, I recently went to a Michael's to purchase a paint pen; I use those to mark the screws on my ARs.

    I noted my son and I were the only guys patronizing the store....

    ....BTW Miggy, now if I go to any Michael's in FL, I'm sure I'll see a BOLO with your mug on it!
    USAF: Loving Our Obscene Amenities Since 1947

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