This is a discussion on Sex Change Confusion: Ladies Only within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went ...
A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home.
He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed: 'Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through. So, please allow her body to switch with mine for a day.
God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.
The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman.
He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate,
Awakened the kids,
Set out their school clothes,
Fed them breakfast,
Packed their lunches,
Drove them to school,
Came home and picked up the dry cleaning,
Took it to the cleaners
And stopped at the bank to make a deposit,
Went grocery shopping,
Then drove home to put away the groceries,
Paid the bills and balanced the check book.
He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog.
Then, it was already 01P.M.
And he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor.
Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home.
Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework.
Then, set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.
At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper.
He cleaned the kitchen,
Ran the dishwasher,
Bathed the kids,
And put them to bed.
At 09 P.M .
He was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint.
The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said: -
'Lord, I don't know what I was thinking.
I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day.
Please, oh! Oh! Please, let us trade back.
The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied:
'My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were. You'll just have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last night.'
Cute, but as a divorced Father with custody of two daughters, I did all that and worked. The "female" end was much easier! Single guys do both jobs all the time.
Treat me good, I'll treat you better. Treat me bad, I'll treat you worse.
One week while I was still married, my wife went to visit her sick mother. I was in charge of the kids (2 and 3 y.o.) for a week. At the end of the week I never made a snide comment again. Well, let me rephrase that, I still made snide comments, but not about how hard could it be to take care of the kids all day.
Preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse or Rapture....whichever comes first.
now that was funny!
[B]"When seconds count police are minutes away"!
Some days are like that. Humorous at best.
When you accept mediocrity you sow the seeds for future failure.
One should never confuse good fortune with good training.
Illegitimus Non Carborundum. In God we trust.
I have been blessed to be able to stay home from time to time while my Wife went off with her Sister or to training, and cared for our 4 kids on my own (including home schooling). I can certainly appreciate this and have forwarded it on to all the women in my life thanking them for what they do.
This was too funny, sad but funny.
"Don't hit a man if you can possibly avoid it; but if you do hit him, put him to sleep." - Theodore Roosevelt
Man that was funny!
One of my finest moments of married life was the week off of work I took while my wife was sick. I did it all. Monday was rough because the kids did thier thing and went to school.......blowing through the morning like a tornado and leaving nothing but destruction and chaos in thier wake. I got the house cleaned up in time for them to destroy it again after school..........so that's what momma does all day?!? I just returned from a long deployment so I had to put my military voice in use and by Wed. they were off to school with zero mess in thier wake. By Friday they (my 3 oldest) were a well oiled, cohesive unit that was even taking pride in how they were keeping the house up for momma. Growing up in south Louisiana, I was taught how to cook...no microwave dinners....we ALL gained a few pounds! NOTE: My wife is a magician in the kitchen and certinally knows more than me, but I can follow directions directions and internet cooking websites are, in fact, useful when gumbo and jambalaya gets old. Best of all...the only dirty clothes were the one's they were wearing.
I figured out that if 'daddy' is left in charge of the house and I'm moving at will, unchecked, I can 'git 'er dun'! Nothing intimidates abouts what my wife does......except the pregnatcy thing.......... the 'nesting phase' is the worst!
I also figured out if 'everything' is done then there' MUCH more time to be taken for important activities, fishing, range time, golf, and swimming. My kids even let me shoot some when we went to the range.......
"Just getting a concealed carry permit means you haven't commited a crime yet. CCP holders commit crimes." Daniel Vice, senior attorney for the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence, quoted on Fox & Friends, 8 Jul, 2008
"Sometimes when you're making gumbo, people just show up.", Leah Chase
All I know is that I'd make a TERRIBLE woman......I'd be absolutely worthless.
I can't imagine taking an hour to get ready to go somewhere......all of the hair-do stuff, makeup, Vitamin creams. Don't get me wrong I'm glad that women do that stuff, but I can assure you this, I'd be some kind of ugly looking woman.
Now, give me a tractor that needs to be split in half, I'll work all night and live off a Coke and cheese crackers. My wife would agree that she'd make a terrible man.
Helpful hints on pushing back and strengthening the 2A:
know what your'e saying! Wifey works and I am one of those "Mr Moms"..and boy my boobs hurt! Good night.
"Brains before Bullets"
Reminds me of:
A married couple were both celebrating their 60th birthdays when God appeared. He told them he would grant each of them one wish.
The woman said "I wish we could travel all over the world".
There was a puff of smoke and the couple found themselves awash in airline tickets.
The man said "I wish I was married to a woman 30 years younger than myself". There was a puff of smoke and the man found himself 90 years old.
"First gallant South Carolina nobly made the stand."
Edge of Darkness
I took care of my 4 and 5 year olds for a week once. Just felt like 9 months
I would rather bust my butt anyday at work then fo thru want my wife does everyday for myseld and our 3 kids. God bless all Mothers, Sisters, Aunts and Friends.
Speaking for the men I know...we have it MUCH easier, no question.
My wife retired once and after working another new job (50K+) for a couple of years, wanted to quit, stay home and dabble in her hobbies. She promised that my home duties, some cleaning, most of the yard work, dishes, etc. would be absorbed by her. Sounded like a deal to me. I still work another job after retirement.
She pretty much stays at home and did follow through with her promises. She keeps the place immaculate, dinner is on the table when I arrive home, clothes always clean and folded on my dresser...yep, I'm treated like a .
It was well worth the $50K...she's happy, and so am I.
The last Blood Moon Tetrad for this millennium starts in April 2014 and ends in September 2015...according to NASA.
Certified Glock Armorer
NRA Life Member