Yep, thats the way my Dad taught me.
This is a discussion on How men and women shower differently within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; After reading the post about the man waking up as a woman, it reminded me of this shower scenario differences between men and women. I ...
After reading the post about the man waking up as a woman, it reminded me of this shower scenario differences between men and women. I "cleaned" it up some, at least to family level I think, if not I apologize in advance.
How To Shower Like a Woman
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair. Shave armpits and legs. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in another towel the same size as the first. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and giant towel on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
How To Shower Like a Man
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile, as you stand up, flip drawers with your foot in another direction . Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, scare her and make a 'woo-woo' sound. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your stomach and scratch any itchy areas. Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. Make any disgusting noise you like, and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Do not waste soap or time by washing off any hair stuck on the soap. Wash your hair, bar soap is just fine. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Rinse off and get out of shower, if some soap still remains don't worry about it. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. Admire physique in mirror again. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, scare her again and make the 'woo-woo' sound. Throw wet towel on bed.
Last edited by ppkheat; November 21st, 2008 at 03:53 PM. Reason: added
Turn the election's in 2014 to a "2A Revolution". It will serve as a 1994 refresher not to "infringe" on our Second Amendment. We know who they are now.........SEND 'EM HOME. Our success in this will be proportional to how hard we work to make it happen.
Yep, thats the way my Dad taught me.
"Government is not the solution to our problem; government IS the problem". - Ronald Reagan 1981
That's funny, showed it to wife, she now thinks DC is a bad influence on me, thanks ppkheat !!!
While people are saying "Peace and safety," destruction will come on them suddenly, ... and they will not escape. 1Th 5:3
"Just getting a concealed carry permit means you haven't commited a crime yet. CCP holders commit crimes." Daniel Vice, senior attorney for the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence, quoted on Fox & Friends, 8 Jul, 2008
(Sometimes) "a fight avioded is a fight won." ... claude clay
Do it together to conserve water. Average out the times, have a little fun.
Treat me good, I'll treat you better. Treat me bad, I'll treat you worse.
Vis consili expers mole ruit sua.
Ha ha..... lmao... I would like to read the "unedited" version...
Yep, that's pretty much how it is...
Certified Glock Armorer
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You guys spying on me!
EOD - Initial success or total failure
Isn't any shower that takes over 3-5 minutes, a waste of our natural resources ?
Yep, thats us <scratch, scratch, scratch>
"Eternity is Too Long to be Wrong"
Texas CHL Instructor & Holder & Utah CFP Instructor
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Member TSRA, USCCA, TCHA
Christian, Heterosexual, Pro-2A, Pro-Life, Conservative, Common Sense American
True flip underwear one foot try to hit basket & the wet noises great/ true so true
Come on guys...no peeing in the shower???
Training means learning the rules. Experience means learning the exceptions.