Home Security System

Home Security System

This is a discussion on Home Security System within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Just got this from a friend via email. Thought it funny enough to post: How To install a wireless security system: 1. Go to a ...

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  1. #1
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    Array BigJon's Avatar
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    Home Security System

    Just got this from a friend via email. Thought it funny enough to post:

    How To install a wireless security system:

    1. Go to a second-hand store, buy a pair of men's used workboots - a really big pair.
    2. Put them outside your front door on top of a copy of Guns and Ammo magazine.
    3. Put a dog dish beside it. A really big dog dish.
    4. Leave a note on your front door that says something like: "Bubba, Big Mike and I have gone to get more ammunition - back in a few minutes. Don't disturb the Pit Bulls, they've just been wormed."
    "You may not know it, but there's things that gnaw at a man worse than dyin'."

    Charles Travis Postlewaite, 1882


  2. #2
    VIP Member Array Bud White's Avatar
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    Thats pretty Good

  3. #3
    Senior Member Array AirForceShooter's Avatar
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    and it would WORK!!!!

    AFS
    Gun control is hitting what you aim at

  4. #4
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    Hmmm... Considering the only room in my home left untouched by my burglars was my office with my fuzzy buddies, I should've had this sign on my front door:
    Attached Images
    "Americans have the will to resist because you have weapons. If you don't have a gun, freedom of speech has no power." - Yoshimi Ishikawa

  5. #5
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    Yes - it could work!!

    Often heard mention of big dog bowl, and maybe the ''beware'' notices too. Betty's warning notice might dissuade some, perhaps!
    Chris - P95
    NRA Certified Instructor & NRA Life Member.

    "To own a gun and assume that you are armed
    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."


    http://www.rkba-2a.com/ - a portal for 2A links, articles and some videos.

  6. #6
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    If Betty really wants to keep the bad guys (and us) out she should add the word "loose" to the sign!
    Rick

    EOD - Initial success or total failure

  7. #7
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    True story. Our neighborhood is very nice and quiet, mostly families with (amazingly) very polite kids playing on the streets and almost no traffic unless it is from the people living here and the usual suspects (UPS, FedEx, Mail and such). The only drawback is that we get hit with Jehova Witnesses, salespeople, journeymen offering their services, etc on a regular basis and they have a lousy sense of timing.
    I tried the polite way, no results. I tried being mean, nothing. Then I remembered getting a catalog from Delta Press with this little sign in it.


    But being the cheap SOB I am, I just printed one and taped it to the door one night. The next morning my mother saw Jehova Witnesses coming over and warned me. I ran to the door and watched through the peephole. I saw the guy in charge of the group got close, he read the sign, did a 180 and the move to another house.
    All of the sudden, no more knocking from parties that had nothing to do with our household. The UPS lady thought it was cute and the FedEx guy hid (jokingly) behind his truck and begged not to be shot. He also told me he was going to copy the idea.
    Of course, something was bound to happen. I was expecting a spare barrel for my AK and the darn thing would not arrive. I check with FedEx online and, to my surprise, it said it was delivered but to the wrong address some 5 houses down the block. I went over the house, but there was nobody home so I left a note inquiring about my package. The next day I had to go to work and told the wife to be on the lookout for the neighbor and my package. She called me hours later laughing and told me that, when the neighbor didn't show up, she went over the house to see if she could retrieve it. In this house lives a sweet old lady who moves around with a motorized wheelchair and she had some of her grandkids staying with her for a spell. She said that she sent her 10 year old grandson to deliver the package, but the kid saw the sign, freaked out and came back crying that he was afraid. I felt bad for the kid

    But the damn sign works!
    You have to make the shot when fire is smoking, people are screaming, dogs are barking, kids are crying and sirens are coming.
    Randy Cain.

    Ego will kill you. Leave it at home.
    Signed: Me!

  8. #8
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    That has to be one of my all time fave signs
    Chris - P95
    NRA Certified Instructor & NRA Life Member.

    "To own a gun and assume that you are armed
    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."


    http://www.rkba-2a.com/ - a portal for 2A links, articles and some videos.

  9. #9
    VIP Member Array Sheldon J's Avatar
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    One more thing, scatter MT shell caseings all around the area.
    "The sword dose not cause the murder, and the maker of the sword dose not bear sin" Rabbi Solomon ben Isaac 11th century

  10. #10
    Senior Member Array dpesec's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Betty
    :
    Hmmm... Considering the only room in my home left untouched by my burglars was my office with my fuzzy buddies, I should've had this sign on my front door:
    My GF told me of a store that had the glass display cases broken with many watches and rings taken. The finally gave up and just but your little friends there. NEver had another problem.
    Dave

    “The highest obligation and privilege of citizenship is that of bearing arms”. General George Patton—US Army

    Vis et Veneratio

    "So this is how democracy dies: to thunderous applause." Actress Natalie Portman as Padme in Star Wars Revenge of the Sith

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