Not quite sure how to handle this one?

This is a discussion on Not quite sure how to handle this one? within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Originally Posted by automatic slim As a former LEO allow me to make a suggestion. Tell your mother to call you next time this is ...

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Thread: Not quite sure how to handle this one?

  1. #16
    VIP Member Array farronwolf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by automatic slim View Post
    As a former LEO allow me to make a suggestion. Tell your mother to call you next time this is happening. When she does, you call the police and tell them that you were driving/walking by the place and heard a fight or domestic disturbance in progress, you also heard a loud noise like a gun shot. Advise the dispatcher you want to remain anonymous.
    When the police respond, believe me the noise makers will be dealt with properly. If it happens again, use a different variation such as, a fight in progress
    and a woman being severely beaten....
    Keep remaining anonymous and never mention your mother. Always use the old " I happened to be driving/walking by and............"
    One thing cops hate is having to respond to the same location repeatedly. After the third or fourth call, they will start arresting the partyers.

    I surely hope that encouraging people to make false reports is not an indication of why you are a former LEO. This is about the most ignorant thing I can think of.

    If the building managment won't do anything, then a noise complaint from your mother to the LEO's explaining the situation would be an option. If there are 6 families in the building why would it be assumed that your mom made the complaint.

    I guess your mom could be very loud during the morning and day following their partying while they are trying to sleep. A little taste of their own medicine. Most cities don't have the same noise ordinances during the day as during the night. Maybe a make believe construction project with alot of hammering etc.

    Or just deal with it until she moves.
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  3. #17
    Senior Member Array Divebum47's Avatar
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    I lived in a college town, a block from the University for 23 years. Bowling Green State University. The community was one of single family homes when we moved in, and evolved into houses with several students. Whenever a new group of students would move in next to or across the street from me, I would go over, introduce myself and tell them if they needed anything to let me know. Now we were on friendly terms rather than adversarial. If the music got to loud or beer cans were thrown on my lawn, I would simply go over and ask them to address the situation. Most of the time, the situation was taken care of. In the event that the situation was not, I would immediately call the police. However, in the vast majority of cases, the issues were solved very quickly and with a minimum of fuss. I've found that there are very few problems which cannot be solved by civil discourse. Of up assume there is going to be a problem, it often becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
    "Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups"

  4. #18
    Distinguished Member Array Paymeister's Avatar
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    You might consider packing a different kind of "heat": why not go over to chat with them carrying a couple of dozen cookies she just baked, warm from the oven? And explain that Mom needs at least a little bit of sleep in order to bake more...
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  5. #19
    Member Array major99's Avatar
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    Well I have gotten a few good ideas here so far. It is just a potentially sticky situation and I may be over thinking it. As i stated my main concern is my mothers safety and sanity. I just dont want to go making a decision that could create problems for her. To clarify though, I dont believe they would do anything harmful to her but she just doesnt need ANY more crap on her plate at the moment. I think I will go down to the PD this afternoon and explain the situation and lay the groundwork. Maybe Ill plan a 6am Sunday morning breakfast cookout for all my Harley buddies. Thanks for all the responses. I think ill let the local PD deal with it for the most part.

  6. #20
    Member Array major99's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Paymeister View Post
    You might consider packing a different kind of "heat": why not go over to chat with them carrying a couple of dozen cookies she just baked, warm from the oven? And explain that Mom needs at least a little bit of sleep in order to bake more...
    She does make a mean Chocolate Chip....

  7. #21
    Senior Member Array Jackle1886's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by alelks View Post
    I would first give them a call on the phone to see how receptive they are to keeping it a little quieter. If that doesn't work talk to the landlord.

    I live out in the country and there is only one neighbor that gives the neighborhood trouble. They live across the field behind my house. Sometimes they get loud during the night partying, shooting off fireworks as well as firearms and blasting loud music. The last time they were loud throughout the night I got up bout 8am in the morning, started up my racing quad and took a nice long ride around my property several times. My property goes within 50 ft of their bedroom windows. I waited until 8am because all my neighbors are up by then anyway. I did this about every 45 minutes. Let me tell you that with a racing exhaust it is EXTREMELY loud too. I haven't heard any all night noises since.
    My dad did something close to this. Our neighbors were gone and the kids partied way into the morning. Well we just happened to have a MAJOR need to cut some firewood at about 8am. The Stihl fired up and ran a few tanks full of gas. Didn't have any problem again ;)
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  8. #22
    jfl
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    Being a landlord myself, I can tell you a few things:

    The landlord does not want the police to come too often; for some reason it seems to trigger inspections from the Fire Marshall, Code Enforcement and other people you do better without.

    If there is a manager, he does not want people to complain to the Landlord and much less have the landlord find out Police was called.

    There is very little the landlord can do if the tenant advise him/her in writing that she will be paying the rent to an escrow account until the matter is resolved.
    In Florida, it is called a "notice to cure".

    I like the idea of calling the Police "just driving by" as long as you do not misrepresent the facts; "it almost sounded like a gun shot" is an interesting statement ...
    Here the Police has to check on such a complaint.

    Now the best would be "to get out of Dodge"
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  9. #23
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    How to handle depends on your realistic appraisal of the young men living there.

    If they are just noisy on weekends and otherwise O.K., then I'm with Paymeister's advice to bring some home made cookies and see if they might cooperate.

    If they appear to you to be thuggish guys you are afraid to approach, then you have no business letting your mother live there. Break the lease, eat the loss, and keep your mom safe.

    In between these two extremes, an anonymous call or two to the police, or even one coming from you mom, won't be out of order. They are unlikely to find out exactly which neighbor called since there are 6 apartments in the building.

  10. #24
    Senior Member Array Sergeant Mac's Avatar
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    In my opinion, many people have lost the ability (or at least the willingness) to REASON with others over conflict. Instead, they seek out some authority who will handle the problem by FORCE.

    I've gone on many, many, MANY loud music, barking dog, etc., calls, and most of what I do is to tell the person that there was a complaint, that I did notice that there appeared to be a good reason for the complaint, and to ASK them to please remedy the situation. The vast majority of them apologize and promise to do so (and most follow through). About 10 percent or so want to know who made the complaint. Those are usually the ones who get the tickets when it inevitably happens again....and again....and again.

    Mind you, even though I'm simply ASKING them to remedy the problem, there is very clearly FORCE backing up that request, simply by virtue of my being there, in uniform, and carrying with me all manner of implements of destruction, the most devastating of which being the retractable ball-point pen jutting menacingly from my shirt pocket.....

    Still, it occurs to me to wonder just how many of those people would respond in the very same reasonable manner to a neighbor who asked nicely.

    Anyway, here's my suggestion:

    Figure out a time when they're NOT partying, and go have a friendly talk with them. (Be armed, just in case - concealed means concealed.) Tell them that you're glad that they're enjoying their freedom and having fun, and wouldn't think of asking them to stop......but that you'd greatly appreciate it if they could not be quite as loud, quite as late, as that infringes upon your mother's peace and quiet. See if there's some compromise that can be reached. Midnight? 2 a.m.? Only every other weekend? Keep it in the far room? Most reasonable people, once they see that you're not looking to deny them their fun entirely, will be willing to work with you to some extent.

    If not, you can always go the landlord/police route.

  11. #25
    Member Array major99's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sergeant Mac View Post
    In my opinion, many people have lost the ability (or at least the willingness) to REASON with others over conflict. Instead, they seek out some authority who will handle the problem by FORCE.

    I've gone on many, many, MANY loud music, barking dog, etc., calls, and most of what I do is to tell the person that there was a complaint, that I did notice that there appeared to be a good reason for the complaint, and to ASK them to please remedy the situation. The vast majority of them apologize and promise to do so (and most follow through). About 10 percent or so want to know who made the complaint. Those are usually the ones who get the tickets when it inevitably happens again....and again....and again.

    Mind you, even though I'm simply ASKING them to remedy the problem, there is very clearly FORCE backing up that request, simply by virtue of my being there, in uniform, and carrying with me all manner of implements of destruction, the most devastating of which being the retractable ball-point pen jutting menacingly from my shirt pocket.....

    Still, it occurs to me to wonder just how many of those people would respond in the very same reasonable manner to a neighbor who asked nicely.

    Anyway, here's my suggestion:

    Figure out a time when they're NOT partying, and go have a friendly talk with them. (Be armed, just in case - concealed means concealed.) Tell them that you're glad that they're enjoying their freedom and having fun, and wouldn't think of asking them to stop......but that you'd greatly appreciate it if they could not be quite as loud, quite as late, as that infringes upon your mother's peace and quiet. See if there's some compromise that can be reached. Midnight? 2 a.m.? Only every other weekend? Keep it in the far room? Most reasonable people, once they see that you're not looking to deny them their fun entirely, will be willing to work with you to some extent.

    If not, you can always go the landlord/police route.
    That was pretty much my plan. I did go to the local PD today to let them know the situation, (there have been calls there before) and they assured me that anonimity will remain if my mom calls. I am going over there tomorrow after work with my moms chocolate chips ( good suggestion btw) and just tlk to them. I plan to let them know that I just want a little respect for my mom and that she is not unreasonable but she needs sleep. I think it should work.

  12. #26
    Senior Member Array Divebum47's Avatar
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    You might consider packing a different kind of "heat": why not go over to chat with them carrying a couple of dozen cookies she just baked, warm from the oven? And explain that Mom needs at least a little bit of sleep in order to bake more...
    The gentle approach works. I had a couple of students bring ME cookies. Guess I'd hesitate a tad if they were Brownies (being a child of the 60's). Of course it helped having a black Crown Vic parked in my driveway whenever I was home, I would guess.
    "Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups"

  13. #27
    Member Array gicts's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Paymeister View Post
    You might consider packing a different kind of "heat": why not go over to chat with them carrying a couple of dozen cookies she just baked, warm from the oven? And explain that Mom needs at least a little bit of sleep in order to bake more...
    x100
    If they're the just cut loose type (as most college students really are) and not overly aggressive , wild and unruly drunkards. I'd bake some cookies or something one afternoon and try to give the image of a very sweet grandmother. Who says no to grandmas with cookies?

    If they are wild and devilish I think everyone else's comments are spot on.

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