Think You've Had A Bad Day?

This is a discussion on Think You've Had A Bad Day? within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; A Christmas Story for people having a really bad day: When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as ...

Results 1 to 13 of 13

Thread: Think You've Had A Bad Day?

  1. #1
    Distinguished Member Array CT-Mike's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    CT
    Posts
    1,510

    Think You've Had A Bad Day?

    A Christmas Story for people having a really bad day:

    When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure.

    Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.

    When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where.

    Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.

    Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drunk all the cider and had hidden the liquor. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.

    Just then the doorbell rang, and an irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.
    The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?'

    And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree . . .
    "The natural progress of things is for liberty to yield, and government to gain ground."

    - Thomas Jefferson

    "I'm the arrow, you're my bow, shoot me forth and I will go"

    "Do not let any individual posts put a knot in your Big Boy Under-Roos"

  2. Remove Ads

  3. #2
    jfl
    jfl is offline
    Distinguished Member Array jfl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Palm Beach County, FL
    Posts
    1,485
    I heard it before but it still gives me a good laugh ... THANKS.
    The first rule of a gunfight: "Don't be there !"
    The second rule: "Bring enough gun"

    jfl
    (NRA Life Member/Instructor - GOA - IDPA - GSSF - ex-IHMSA)

  4. #3
    VIP Member Array deadeye72's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Central Mississippi
    Posts
    4,283
    That's funny.
    Glock 27
    BENELLI NOVA

  5. #4
    Member Array spooter66's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    PA
    Posts
    433
    I always wondered how the tradition got started!
    "I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals." - Sir Winston Churchill


  6. #5
    VIP Member Array artz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Georgia
    Posts
    2,351
    LOL !
    " Refuse to be a victim, make sure there is a round chambered ! "

    Just call me a pessimistic optimist !

    U.S. Navy vet 1981-1992

  7. #6
    VIP Member Array swiftyjuan's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Madera, CA
    Posts
    2,488
    Not funny! (I am having a colonoscopy on Tuesday-the comparison is too close!)
    John
    Assault is a behavior, not a device.

    "Don't never take no shortcuts." Patty Reed, Donner Party

    Lifetime NRA member

  8. #7
    Distinguished Member Array morintp's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Vermont
    Posts
    1,233
    Quote Originally Posted by swiftyjuan View Post
    Not funny! (I am having a colonoscopy on Tuesday-the comparison is too close!)
    The colonoscopy itself isn't that bad, especially if they knock you out like they did me. It the day before prep that really sucks. A word of warning, when you drink the miralax you'd better be within a couple steps of the bathroom.
    Last edited by morintp; December 14th, 2008 at 06:25 PM. Reason: Changed the name to a real laxative, instead of a wine.
    64,999,987 firearms owners killed no one yesterday.

  9. #8
    Member Array spooter66's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    PA
    Posts
    433
    Quote Originally Posted by swiftyjuan View Post
    Not funny! (I am having a colonoscopy on Tuesday-the comparison is too close!)
    You won't remember the procedure.

    However, you will remember the turbo lax!!!

    Don't get more that 10 paces from the bathroom and make sure you have a good supply of TP.

    If you want to have fun with the doc have your wife take a sharpie and draw a bullseye on your backside. The kind with rings, well you can guess what the center ring is.
    "I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals." - Sir Winston Churchill


  10. #9
    VIP Member Array HKinNY's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Nassau, NY(Long Island)
    Posts
    2,855
    Quote Originally Posted by spooter66 View Post
    Don't get more that 10 paces from the bathroom and make sure you have a good supply of TP.

    If you want to have fun with the doc have your wife take a sharpie and draw a bullseye on your backside. The kind with rings, well you can guess what the center ring is.
    Thats funny. Many sure that you have the good TP not the kinda that feels like sandpaper.

  11. #10
    Senior Member Array Zsnake's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Northern Virginia
    Posts
    617
    There ain't nuttin' to it! I showed up without a designated driver (guess I don't hear so well...they said they told me) and they wanted to postpone the procedure. Not after drinking that preparation **** and fasting all night! I told them to go ahead without the anethesitic. They did. It got a little uncomfortable, but nothing worse than a gas pain. I finally asked the Doc if he was about through. He replied, "Son I started out with four feet (or was it five?) of hose and I'm done to the last 6 inches....just relax."
    After it was over, they applauded me as I left.

  12. #11
    VIP Member Array JonInNY's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Mid-Hudson Valley New York State
    Posts
    4,207
    Gee, learn something new every day!
    "Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch; Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote."
    -- Benjamin Franklin

  13. #12
    Senior Member Array Pure Kustom's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Mesa,Az
    Posts
    1,081
    From a nice Christmas story to TMI..................

  14. #13
    Senior Member Array Devone6's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    South of North, North of South
    Posts
    654

    That was funny!!!

Links

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •