Aznav's Butt-Kicking/Trash-Talking Equation (with variables):

Aznav's Butt-Kicking/Trash-Talking Equation (with variables):

This is a discussion on Aznav's Butt-Kicking/Trash-Talking Equation (with variables): within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Last week I was in traffic and out of the corner of my eye I heard some long honking followed by a stream of invectives ...

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Thread: Aznav's Butt-Kicking/Trash-Talking Equation (with variables):

  1. #1
    Distinguished Member Array aznav's Avatar
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    Aznav's Butt-Kicking/Trash-Talking Equation (with variables):

    Last week I was in traffic and out of the corner of my eye I heard some long honking followed by a stream of invectives directed at some hapless soul. I observed that the initiator of all this trash talk was probably in his late sixties. The culprit appeared to be less than half his age. I thought to myself, "It's been a long time since that guy had his butt kicked." Which made me come up with this silly equation:

    TT= BK (+T-M +or- V)

    "Trash Talking is directly proportional to the amount of time and distance, less Memory, from one's last Butt-Kicking."

    +Variable 1: TT is Big and Bad. This has it's own set of variables in that:
    a. There is always someone bigger and badder
    b. Someone is carrying an equalizer which leads to the 2nd variable.

    -Variable 2: TT is packing heat. Again, another set of variables occurs:
    a. TT invites trouble.
    b. TT goes to prison.
    Last edited by aznav; January 21st, 2009 at 04:07 PM.
    "The heart of the wise inclines to the right, but the heart of the fool to the left." Eccl. 10:2

  2. #2
    VIP Member Array rodc13's Avatar
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    Very clever, and very wise! I'll definitely pass this one on.
    gatorbait51 likes this.
    Cheers,
    Rod
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  3. #3
    Distinguished Member Array kazzaerexys's Avatar
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    Being a mathematician, I like it!

    I would have to point out that it is only a statisitical formula, and there are always outliers. I am proud to say that I have never had my butt kicked, and I'd like to keep it that way. I keep all my trash-talking inside my car, with the windows closed, so I can vent without great risk of BK...
    BamaT and gatorbait51 like this.
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    Senior Member Array ASSA9's Avatar
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    thank you
    with your permission, I will add that to my signiture
    gatorbait51 likes this.
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  5. #5
    Distinguished Member Array aznav's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ASSA9 View Post

    thank you
    with your permission, I will add that to my signiture
    You bet and I'll take the math compliment seeing as it was one of the reasons that I crammed a four year course into ten.
    gatorbait51, redmc and msgt/ret like this.
    "The heart of the wise inclines to the right, but the heart of the fool to the left." Eccl. 10:2

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    Senior Member Array Roadrunner's Avatar
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    Ha! Too true. I saw a cranky old man out for blood today at the car repair shop because his transmission flush wasn't done exactly on time. He got obnoxiously loud and rude with one female receptionist, the female supervisor who came out after the receptionist left, and finally the male manager. This SOB was literally cursing out a five-foot tall woman who was being nothing but polite in trying to help him. I don't care how old you are, respect goes both ways. This guy needs his butt kicked up around his ears.
    molleur, msgt/ret and WHEC724 like this.
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  7. #7
    Distinguished Member Array aznav's Avatar
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    And you can bet that's just the way he talks to his wife, if he has one.
    "The heart of the wise inclines to the right, but the heart of the fool to the left." Eccl. 10:2

  8. #8
    Restricted Member Array SelfDefense's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by aznav View Post
    You bet and I'll take the math compliment seeing as it was one of the reasons that I crammed a four year course into ten.

  9. #9
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    Nice equation! From my experience (not personal), pretty true. That's why I skipped math and went into accounting and tax....
    msgt/ret likes this.
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  10. #10
    Distinguished Member Array aznav's Avatar
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    The last (hopefully) time I got my butt kicked was 1969 - drunk at a frat party that spilled out on to the parking lot. I had every bit of it coming. It was a one-punch, blind-sided, barroom swing. Literally took me off my feet on to the pavement. Worse yet, it was a tall (not drunk) pencil necked geek that decked me. "Worser" yet, I wore a raccoon mask on campus for the next two weeks. Up to that point, I was known for carrying myself fairly well. Oh, the snickers from the other fraternity. Sigh.
    "The heart of the wise inclines to the right, but the heart of the fool to the left." Eccl. 10:2

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    Clearly your wife needs to update the Honey-Do list.
    aznav likes this.
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  12. #12
    Distinguished Member Array aznav's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OldVet View Post
    Clearly your wife needs to update the Honey-Do list.
    You two have been talking, haven't you?!
    "The heart of the wise inclines to the right, but the heart of the fool to the left." Eccl. 10:2

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    Trash talk is just that and I have at times offered advise to some who do such things. You should always keep your words soft and sweet because there may come a time when you will have to eat them.

  14. #14
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    I don't do math.

    It makes my brain hurt.
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