Darwin club applicants

This is a discussion on Darwin club applicants within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; 1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did something ...

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Thread: Darwin club applicants

  1. #1
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    Darwin club applicants

    1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during
    a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did
    something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried
    the trigger again. This time it worked.....

    And now, the honorable mentions:

    2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting
    machine and, after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his
    insurance company. The company, expecting negligence, sent out one of its
    men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a
    finger. The chef's claim was approved.

    3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a
    blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the
    space. Understandably, he shot her.

    4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver
    found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from
    Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the
    driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free
    ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the
    staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies.
    The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

    5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head
    wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the
    injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he
    could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

    6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter,
    and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled
    a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly
    provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20
    bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer...$15.

    7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd
    just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and
    run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his head at the window.
    The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head,
    knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The
    whole event was caught on videotape.

    8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed
    her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able
    to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the
    police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to
    the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there
    for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's
    the lady I stole the purse from."

    9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger
    King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash.
    The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register
    without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they
    weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

    ******A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER*****
    10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a
    Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at
    the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near
    spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to
    steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank
    by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that
    it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
    Chris - P95
    NRA Certified Instructor & NRA Life Member.

    "To own a gun and assume that you are armed
    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."


    http://www.rkba-2a.com/ - a portal for 2A links, articles and some videos.

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  3. #2
    VIP Member Array Bud White's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by P95Carry
    9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger
    King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash.
    The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register
    without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they
    weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

    Counting i work this area a lot and deal with a lot of the dim bulbs this doesnt surprise me at all

  4. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by P95Carry
    7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd
    just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and
    run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his head at the window.
    The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head,
    knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The
    whole event was caught on videotape.
    I saw a video recently of something like this. In this video 2 guys approached the store, 1 was lookout, the other threw a brick into the window, (plexiglass) the brick bounced off and hit his partner in the back of the head, knocking him out. The thrower didn't even know what had happened to his buddy when he threw the second brick which bounced back and hit him in the forehead, knocking him unconcious as well.

    They were both discovered while still unconcious and taken to jail via the hospital.
    Heroes are people who do what has to be done, when it has to be done, regardless of the consequences

    "I like when the enemy shoots at me; then I know where the ******** are and can kill them."
    ~George Patton

    DE OPPRESSO LIBER

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    Darwins are so much fun...... As long as it isn't you!!

    I'd read number 10 before...........
    Rick

    EOD - Initial success or total failure

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    VIP Member Array havegunjoe's Avatar
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    These are great. I especially liked #8, that one for some reason really cracked me up.
    DEMOCRACY IS TWO WOLVES AND A LAMB VOTING ON WHAT TO HAVE FOR LUNCH. LIBERTY IS A WELL ARMED LAMB CONtestING THE VOTE.

    Certified Instructor for Minnesota Carry Permit
    NRA Pistol and Personal Protection Insrtuctor
    Utah Permit Certified Instructor

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    Member Array Kompact9's Avatar
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    Good bit of humor, Chris...I passed #10 around at work. It helped break up the day...
    noli nothis permittere te terere...

  8. #7
    New Member Array Wyo CMAer's Avatar
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    just a sidenote, try the darwinawards.com site, same stuff and quite funny
    1Peter2:17

  9. #8
    Member Array bubbygator's Avatar
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    Anyone of a philosophical bent might be interested in knowing that the website also has a Philosophy Forum.

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