This is a discussion on Mature Lady Driver within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; A mature (over 40) lady was pulled over for speeding... Older Woman: Is there a problem, officer? Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding. OW: Oh, I ...
A mature (over 40) lady was pulled over for speeding...
Older Woman: Is there a problem, officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
OW: Oh, I see.
O: Can I see your license please?
OW: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
O: Don't have one?
OW: Lost it, four years ago for drunk driving.
O: I see... Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
OW: I can't do that.
O: Why not?
OW: I stole this car.
O: Stole it?
OW: Yes, and I killed and hacked-up the owner.
O: You what?
OW: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.
The officer looks nervously at the nonchalant woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back-up. Within minutes five police cars circle the suspects car. A senior officer carefully approaches the the car, clasping the grip of his sidearm.
O2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!
The woman complies.
W: Is there a problem sir?
O2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
OW: Murdered the owner?
O2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car.
The woman complies. The trunk is empty.
O2: Is this your car, ma'am?
OW: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer appears stunned.
O2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a drivers license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the license. He appears quite puzzled.
O2: Thank you ma'am. one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked-up the owner.
OW: Bet the liar told you I was speeding too.
And Jesus said, "If you don't have a sword, sell your cloak and buy one." (Luke 22:36)
I am a peaceful man. But I am not a pacifist.
Will have to try that one when I get to be more mature.