This is a discussion on Annual Senior Citizen Test... within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't ...
Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't use it, you lose it! Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence.
Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or not. The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you've made your answer.
OK, relax, clear your mind and begin.
1. What do you put in a toaster?
Answer: 'bread.' If you said 'toast,' give up now and do something else.
Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, bread, go to Question 2.
2. Say 'silk' five times. Now spell 'silk.' What do cows drink?
Answer: Cows drink water. If you said 'milk,' don't attempt the next question. Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat. Content yourself with reading a more appropriate literature such as Auto World. However, if you said 'water', proceed to question 3
3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?
Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said 'green bricks,' why the hell are you still reading these???
If you said 'glass,' go on to Question 4
4. It's twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany (If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany .) Anyway, during the flight, two engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he can do so and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of 'no man's land' between East Germany and West Germany . Where would you bury the survivors? East Germany, West Germany , or no man's land'?
Answer: You don't bury survivors.
If you said ANYTHING else, you're a dunce and you must stop. If you said, 'You don't bury survivors', proceed to the next question.
5. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales . In London , 17 people get on the bus. In Reading , six people get off the bus and nine people get on. In Swindon , two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff , 1 1 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea , three people get off and five people get on . In Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven.
What was the name of t he bus driver?
Answer: Oh, for crying out loud!
Don't you re member your own name? It was YOU!!
PS: 95% of people fail most of the questions!!
"The sword dose not cause the murder, and the maker of the sword dose not bear sin" Rabbi Solomon ben Isaac 11th century
I passed! I hadn't seen the greenhouse one before and it almost got me...but I thought about it for a sec before answering. Nice.
All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.
The cow one almost tripped me up, pretty funny stuff.
I needed this today, work sucks and we just found out we are getting some of our benies cut so I needed a good laugh.
"Don't hit a man if you can possibly avoid it; but if you do hit him, put him to sleep." - Theodore Roosevelt
I got them all correct except the last one. D'oh!
Great: I FLUNKED. It is so nice to have some HUMOR once in awhile. THANKS
Got 'em all except the cow. Of course calves drink milk.
I love getting older! LOL
"He went on two legs, wore clothes and was a human being, but nevertheless he was in reality a wolf of the Steppes. He had learned a good deal . . . and was a fairly clever fellow. What he had not learned, however, was this: to find contentment in himself and his own life. The cause of this apparently was that at the bottom of his heart he knew all the time (or thought he knew) that he was in reality not a man, but a wolf of the Steppes."
I am so senile I forgot what I was doing and had to go back to the instructions.
Tell me again what was the bus drivers name?
For as the lightning comes from the east and flashes to the west, so also will the coming of the son of man be. Mathew 24:27
That's mean. Why you gotta mess with us? Don't you think we got enough to worry about just getting to the bathroom on time?
I don't carry a gun because I feel inadequate.
I carry a gun because unarmed and facing three armed thugs, I am inadequate.
"A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on."
- Sir Winston Churchill
I know I am getting older when my indication that it is time to go to the barber for a haircut is; the hair in my ears is too long.
Yoda, I am, yes.