Military Retirement Bonus

Military Retirement Bonus

This is a discussion on Military Retirement Bonus within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; RETIREMENT BONUS If this doesn't make you laugh, you are truly humor impaired! The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer ...

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Thread: Military Retirement Bonus

  1. #1
    VIP Member Array dukalmighty's Avatar
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    Feb 2008

    Military Retirement Bonus


    If this doesn't make you laugh, you are truly humor impaired!

    The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for Retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any Two points in his body.. The officer got to choose what those two points would be.

    The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of His head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.

    The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured
    from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked Out with $96,000.

    The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief who, when
    asked where he would like to be measured replied, 'From the tip of my weenie to my testicles.'

    It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous two Officers had received.
    But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the
    measurement was taken by a Medical Officer.

    The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the Chief to 'drop 'em,' which He did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's weenie and began to work back. Dear Lord!' he suddenly exclaimed, 'Where Are your testicles?'

    The old Chief calmly replied, ' Vietnam'.

    Don't mess with salty Chiefs
    "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
    --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC .

  2. #2
    BAC is offline
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    RIP, Jeff Dorr: 1964 - July 17, 2009. You will be missed.

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  3. #3
    VIP Member Array PatrioticRick's Avatar
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    that's great!
    Μολὼν λαβέ

    USN 78-82/USAF 82-93 Medically Retired
    Desert Shield/Desert Storm
    DAV Life Member
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  4. #4
    Senior Member Array SilenceDoGood's Avatar
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    Aug 2007
    Love it.

  5. #5
    VIP Member Array HKinNY's Avatar
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    Ha Ha I almost spit out the hot choclate on the keyboard again.

  6. #6
    VIP Member Array boricua's Avatar
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    Raleigh, NC
    That was a good one!!!
    Duty, Honor, Country...MEDIC!!!
    ¡Cuánto duele crecer, cuan hondo es el dolor de alzarse en puntillas y observar con temblores de angustia, esa cosa tremenda, que es la vida del hombre! - René Marqués

  7. #7
    Member Array JoeyD's Avatar
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    Dec 2008
    Boerne, Texas
    Hilarious! Can't wait to send that to my buddy, a retired Master Chief.

  8. #8
    Member Array cv7713's Avatar
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    Sep 2008
    N. FL
    Quote Originally Posted by atctimmy View Post
    If you really need it, you will need it really fast. ALWAYS one in the chamber.
    Nuf said!

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