Speeding Ticket (joke)

This is a discussion on Speeding Ticket (joke) within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Two California highway patrol officers were conducting speeding enforcement on I-15, just north of the Marine Corps Air Station at Miramar. One of the officers ...

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Thread: Speeding Ticket (joke)

  1. #1
    Member Array yzcrasher's Avatar
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    Speeding Ticket (joke)

    Two California highway patrol officers were conducting speeding enforcement on I-15, just north of the Marine Corps Air Station at Miramar. One of the officers was using a hand held radar device to check speeding vehicles approaching the crest of a hill. The officers were suddenly surprised when the radar gun began reading 300 miles per hour. The officer attempted to reset the radar gun, but it would not reset and then turned off. Just then a deafening roar over the treetops revealed that the radar had in fact locked on to a USMC F/A-18 Hornet which was engaged in a low flying exercise near the location.

    Back at the CHP Headquarters the Patrol Captain fired off a complaint to the USMC Base Commander. The reply came back in true USMC style:

    Thank you for your letter. We can now complete the file on this incident. You may be interested to know that the tactical computer in the Hornet had detected the presence of, and subsequently locked on to your hostile radar equipment and automatically sent a jamming signal back to it, which is why it shut down. Furthermore, an Air-to-Ground missile aboard the fully armed aircraft had also automatically locked on to your equipment location.
    Fortunately, the Marine Pilot flying the Hornet recognized the situation for what it was, quickly responded to the missile system alert status and was able to override the automated defense system before the missile was launched to destroy the hostile radar position. The pilot also suggests you cover your mouths when cussing at them, since the video systems on these jets are very high tech. Sergeant Johnson, the officer holding the radar gun, should get his dentist to check his left rear molar. It appears the filling is loose. Also, the snap is broken on his holster.
    Thank you for your concern.
    ((Place funny, whitty comment here))

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    VIP Member Array rottkeeper's Avatar
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    This has been posted already.
    For as the lightning comes from the east and flashes to the west, so also will the coming of the son of man be. Mathew 24:27

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    mkh
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    Gotta lovce the Marine Corp sense of humor.

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    When I was stationed at Miramar it was a Navy base.
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    A good one

    A fellow bought a new Mercedes and was out on an interstate road for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through his hair and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80mph, he suddenly saw a flashing red and blue light behind him.

    "There ain't no way they can catch a Mercedes," he thought to himself, and opened her up further.

    The needle hit 90, 100 110 and finally 120 with the lights still behind him.

    "What on earth am I doing?" he thought and pulled over. The cop came up to him, took his licence without a word and examined it and the car.

    "I've had a tough shift and this is my last pull over. I dont feel like more paperwork so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I havent heard before you can go!"

    "Last week my wife ran off with a cop," the man said, "and I was afraid you were trying to give her back!"

    "Have a nice night," said the officer.
    "A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on."
    - Sir Winston Churchill

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    VIP Member Array HKinNY's Avatar
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    Ba-Bum!!

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    Dangit, My computer doesnt have a rim shot button...........
    BILL
    Life's journey is not meant to end at the graveside in a well preserved body. Rather, you should slide in sideways,at the very last possible second, through a great cloud of dust, totally worn out, shouting at the top of your lungs "HOLY CRAP! WHAT A RIDE!"

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    Quote Originally Posted by rottkeeper View Post
    This has been posted already.

    Yep...not to long ago.

    http://www.defensivecarry.com/vbulle...ng-ticket.html

    Rick

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    always a classic though...
    Quote Originally Posted by atctimmy View Post
    If you really need it, you will need it really fast. ALWAYS one in the chamber.
    Nuf said!

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    still good every time I read it!
    "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."

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    Sorry bout the douple post, but I just got in in email and it's too dang funny to not post.
    ((Place funny, whitty comment here))

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    Ex Member Array JOHNSMITH's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by michiglocker View Post
    Dangit, My computer doesnt have a rim shot button...........
    Here you go

    Instant Rimshot


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    Undoubtedly though...hands down this is the best joke that I have ever seen! It should be a sticky and never ever forgotten!!!

    Eric


    There were NO Guns used to take over the flights on 9-11, IT STILL HAPPENED

    Wake up Americans - GUN CONTROL - Means WE LOOSE

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