ups mechanics

This is a discussion on ups mechanics within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; borrowed from another site Just in case you need a laugh: Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high ...

Results 1 to 11 of 11

Thread: ups mechanics

  1. #1
    Member Array gunnerdd2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    va
    Posts
    174

    ups mechanics

    borrowed from another site
    Just in case you need a laugh:

    Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one. After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

    Never let it be said that ground crews, albeit they may lack a formal higher education, has ever lacked a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS ' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.


    By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, had an accident.

    P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
    S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
    *
    P: test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
    S: Probably because auto-land is not installed on this aircraft.
    *
    P: Something loose in cockpit
    S: Something tightened in cockpit
    *
    P: Dead bugs on windshield.
    S: Live bugs on back-order.
    *
    P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode has a 200 ft. per min. descent.
    S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
    *
    P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
    S: Evidence removed.
    *
    P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
    S: DME volume set to more believable level.
    *
    P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
    S: That's what friction locks are for.
    *
    P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
    S: IFF IS inoperative in OFF mode.
    *
    P: Suspected crack in windshield.
    S: Suspect you're right.
    *
    P: Number 3 engine missing.
    S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
    *
    P: Aircraft acting funny
    S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
    *
    P: Target radar hums.
    S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
    *
    P: Mouse in cockpit.
    S: Cat installed.
    *
    And the best one for last
    *
    P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like midget pounding on something with a hammer.
    S: Took hammer away from midget.
    Report to moderator Logged
    I bow to one king, and serve only one kingdom
    JESUS CHRIST

  2. Remove Ads

  3. #2
    VIP Member
    Array sigmanluke's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Utah
    Posts
    3,209

    Thumbs up

    Very funny, especially since I'm a pilot.
    "The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants."
    Thomas Jefferson

  4. #3
    Member Array 93civicsedan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Ky
    Posts
    106
    Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one

    ^^ That isn't true. The FAA requires and license to work on an aircraft, you get this from the Military or an Airframe/ Powerplant related degree/certification. I am currently in school for this.

  5. #4
    VIP Member Array matiki's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    N.W.
    Posts
    2,918
    Awesome. That and the Court room foot-in-mouth thread have made a rough week easier.
    "Wise people learn when they can; fools learn when they must." - The Duke of Wellington

  6. #5
    VIP Member Array matiki's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    N.W.
    Posts
    2,918
    Quote Originally Posted by 93civicsedan View Post
    Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one

    ^^ That isn't true. The FAA requires and license to work on an aircraft, you get this from the Military or an Airframe/ Powerplant related degree/certification. I am currently in school for this.
    Well... that would be a trade school degree, not a college degree. The lines are more blurry these days but in the past there was a big distinction.

    But you are right anyways because you can get a job as a pilot without the college degree.
    "Wise people learn when they can; fools learn when they must." - The Duke of Wellington

  7. #6
    Distinguished Member Array C9H13NO3's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    1,513
    I've seen my fair share of dumb work orders come through from our pilots. Made a few smart remarks myself in the corrective action...lately we've been getting in trouble for it though :(

    Those ones are funny
    -Ryan

    All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.

  8. #7
    Distinguished Member Array pcon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    San Angelo, Texas
    Posts
    1,235
    i like "took hammer away from midget"
    Μολὼν λαβέ

    memento mori


  9. #8
    Distinguished Member Array tinkerinWstuff's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    Colorado Front Range
    Posts
    1,263
    well I was an F-15 crew chief and I can tell you this didn't come from UPS. First, UPS doesn't have Target Radar or IFF (interigation friend or foe). but, funny all the same. It's been some time since I've seen this.
    "Run for your life from the man who tells you that money is evil. That sentence is the leper's bell of an approaching looter. So long as men live together on earth and need means to deal with one another-their only substitute, if they abandon money, is the muzzle of a gun."

    Who is John Galt?

  10. #9
    VIP Member
    Array atctimmy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    NSA Headquarters
    Posts
    6,370
    As an employee of the FAA I'll say that I know of no requirement for pilots to have a college degree.
    Mark Twain:
    The government is merely a servant -- merely a temporary servant; it cannot be its prerogative to determine what is right and what is wrong, and decide who is a
    patriot and who isn't. Its function is to obey orders, not originate them.

  11. #10
    Distinguished Member Array C9H13NO3's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    1,513
    The "takes a college degree to fly them, and a highschool diploma to fix them" comes from the military.

    Enlisted men do not fly planes in the military. The army allows warrant officers to fly, and that's as close as it gets. All other brances are officers only. They have to have a college degree.

    The maintainers are all enlisted, and most don't have any degree. As far as the civilian world, it is possible to get your A&P licence just from your military OJT from what I understand. Takes a lot of hours, but it can be done.
    -Ryan

    All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.

  12. #11
    Member Array athos76's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Miramar, FL
    Posts
    221
    I'm an A&P and have my BAS in Aviation Maintenance Management. It took 2 years of schooling to get my FAA certs along with about $1500 in testing. I've been working in the field for about 5 years now... I've seen this list go around with pretty much every airline name attached.

    Oh...it may or may not take a college degree to be a pilot...but they should at least require common sense. Alot of the pilots I work with weren't issued any.
    "carrying a gun is a lot lighter than carrying a cop in your pocket" -MrTwice99

Links

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Similar Threads

  1. Are there any mechanics out there?
    By automatic slim in forum Off Topic & Humor Discussion
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: September 4th, 2009, 09:41 PM
  2. any mechanics?
    By bigbugman in forum Defensive Carry Holsters & Carry Options
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: July 26th, 2009, 10:07 PM
  3. Background check mechanics again
    By DaveInTexas in forum General Firearm Discussion
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: November 17th, 2008, 05:23 PM
  4. Any Auto Mechanics on this Forum?
    By Pete Zaria in forum Off Topic & Humor Discussion
    Replies: 20
    Last Post: May 13th, 2008, 03:04 AM
  5. Any Mechanics Here?
    By Sig229 in forum Off Topic & Humor Discussion
    Replies: 29
    Last Post: May 24th, 2007, 01:03 AM

Search tags for this page

i am a ups mechanic
,
ups aircraft mechanic forums
,
ups mechanic forum
,
ups mechanic humor
,
ups mechanic joke
,

ups mechanic jokes

Click on a term to search for related topics.