move to Florida :-)
This is a discussion on I hate those white people! within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Is it wrong to want to open fire on snowmen? This winter has been brutally relentless. I have not seen dirt since November 1st and ...
Is it wrong to want to open fire on snowmen?
This winter has been brutally relentless. I have not seen dirt since November 1st and its starting to wear on me.
I'm still seeing snowmen that were put up before Christmas, nothing has melted and the cold and snow won't stop. When is it OK to open fire on these white mocking statues of ice?
They are just so smug and happy in their mocking of me. Those big bulbous white people, always smiling in the face of wicked cold. I hate them. I'm praying it gets warm and they all die a horrible, slow, melting death.
move to Florida :-)
I never considered a difference of opinion in politics, in religion, in philosophy, as cause for withdrawing from a friend. (Thomas Jefferson)
Enjoy it while it lasts! Global warming will make sure you never see another winter! Al Gore said so.
All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.
I'm jealous. Apparently there was snow here the one day I was out of town....
Oh, and, the day they starting talking to you, you can shoot them
"Do your duty in all things. You cannot do more, you should never wish to do less."
"Save in defense of my native State, with the sincere hope that my poor services may never be needed, I hope I may never be called on to draw my sword" - Gen. R. E. Lee
Just be satisfied that the day of reckoning for them is on its way. Bringing with it sun, rain, bugs, and allergies!
"I didn't do it, nobody saw me do it, you can't prove anything!" Bart Simpson
Have you hugged your snowman today? The alternative:
Green grass here east of Rochester NY, been mild for a few weeks.
When I lived in the country of Norway, before..have seen up to 3ft of snow during winter.
Some guy tried to run one over one year, but it had melted a little, refroze, melted a little , refroze so many times.... it didn't budge.. but totalled his truck.
You have to understand and appreciate the subtle and lost art of Snowman poisoning.
A cordless drill
1/2" or larger spade or auger bit (even a dull one works perfectly)
1 container of Morton's Salt.
Sneak up on Senior icebox from behind. Grab him and drill a hole into the top of his head as deep as the bit will go before he can break your grip and get away. While holding him securely as he tries to throw you off, pour a generous amount of salt into the hole you drilled. Release your victim and render first aid in an act of contrition by applying a cold snow compress to the site of the wound.
Apologize by saying that he reminded you of someone who had attacked you in a snowstorm, one upon a time, a long time ago, in a galaxy far far away...
Then, leave the scene in haste with your face covered due to the embarassment of being mistaken.
The salt embolism will slowly poison Mr. Icicles until he turns in a wet puddle of goo. And no one will know it was because of what you did.
Colt 1911 New Agent, CTLaser
You do not work for them, they work for you.
How a politician stands on the Second Amendment tells you how he or she views you as an individual; as a trustworthy & productive citizen, or as part of an unruly crowd that needs to be lorded over, controlled, supervised and taken care of.