When it really gets cold in New York...

This is a discussion on When it really gets cold in New York... within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; 65 above zero: Floridians turn on the heat. People in Upstate New York plant gardens. 60 above zero: Californians shiver uncontrollably.. People in Upstate New ...

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Thread: When it really gets cold in New York...

  1. #1
    VIP Member Array JonInNY's Avatar
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    When it really gets cold in New York...

    65 above zero:
    Floridians turn on the heat.
    People in Upstate New York plant gardens.

    60 above zero:
    Californians shiver uncontrollably..
    People in Upstate New York sunbathe.

    50 above zero:
    Italian & English cars won't start.
    People in Upstate New York drive with the windows down.

    40 above zero:
    Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, and wool hats.
    People in Upstate New York throw on a flannel shirt.


    35 above zero:
    New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
    People in Upstate New York have the last cookout before it gets cold.

    20 above Zero
    People in Miami all die.
    Upstate New Yorkers close the windows.

    Zero:
    Californians fly away to Mexico.
    People in Upstate New York get out their winter coats.

    10 below zero:
    Hollywood disintegrates.
    The Girl Scouts in Upstate New York are selling cookies door to door.

    20 below zero:
    Washington DC runs out of hot air.
    People in Upstate New York let the dogs sleep indoors.

    30 below zero:
    Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
    Upstate New Yorkers get upset because they can't
    start the Snow-mobile.

    40 below zero:
    ALL atomic motion stops.
    People in Upstate New York start saying...’cold enough fer ya?'

    50 below zero:
    Hell freezes over.
    Upstate New York public schools will open 2 hours late
    "Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch; Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote."
    -- Benjamin Franklin

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  3. #2
    Senior Member Array ErikGr7's Avatar
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    JonInNY,

    I went to welding school in Albany, New York during the winter.

    What you say is true

  4. #3
    Senior Member Array A1C Lickey's Avatar
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    So true.... I remember as kid waiting outside for the bus when it was ten below.
    TSgt. Lickey

    It takes a college degree to break'em;
    and a high school education to fix'em!

  5. #4
    Member Array Klaatu's Avatar
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    Talking

    I have always thought that extreme cold caused brain damage. Think about it. Why would people live there much less stay there? Yep, brain damage. I'm just saying...

    I hate being cold. Anything below 75℉ just seems unnecessary. The coldest I have ever felt in my life was during a desert exercise. It was only 40℉ at night. Yea, but it was 115℉ during the day.

    Glad you like it up there. But tell me, why are there so many snow birds down here?

    Just to be clear for the humor impared - I jest - sort of.

  6. #5
    VIP Member Array Supertac45's Avatar
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    Sounds like the U.P. here in Michigan, except that I keep the bedroom window open until it hits about 20 below zero.
    Les Baer 45
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    M.C.R.G.O.

  7. #6
    VIP Member Array dukalmighty's Avatar
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    I drove thru michigan in the dead of winter once...everything was froze I even saw a dog stuck to a tree I guess his stream froze too quick
    "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
    --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC .

  8. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by JonInNY View Post
    20 below zero:
    Washington DC runs out of hot air.
    I was with you until I got to this line.
    Μολὼν λαβέ

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  9. #8
    Distinguished Member Array morintp's Avatar
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    I lived in Hyde Park for 6 years and this was not true there. School was constantly closed based only on the forecast of bad weather. I can't count the number of times my kids stayed home because of the weather, only to have it be a beautiful day.

    On the other hand, here in Vermont I've driven my kids to school with a fresh foot and a half of snow on the ground and horrible roads. Just a couple of weeks ago, I went off the road in my 4WD trying to get my kids to school.
    64,999,987 firearms owners killed no one yesterday.

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    Member Array Dany's Avatar
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    You've never spent a winter in North Dakota.... Have you?
    ‘‘To preserve liberty, it is essential that the whole body of people always possess arms, and be taught alike, especially when young, how to use them...’’

    — Richard Henry Lee, 1787

  11. #10
    Senior Member Array gilraen's Avatar
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    LOL. It works all the way down, too. People in Michigan think Canadians are crazy. People in Kentucky think Michiganers are crazy. People in Mississippi think Kentuckians are crazy. People in Texas think anyone living above Dallas are crazy.

    Me -- I love cold weather. Snow? Great.

    Ice --- I can do without.
    "I pledge allegiance to the war banner of the united states of Totalitaria. And to the Republic, which no longer stands, several bankers, who are now god, indivisible, with Bernanke bucks and credit for all."

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dany View Post
    You've never spent a winter in North Dakota.... Have you?
    Or Montana.


    When you’re wounded and left on Afghanistan’s plains,
    And the women come out to cut up what remains,
    Just roll to your rifle and blow out your brains,
    And go to your God like a soldier.

    Rudyard Kipling


    Terry

  13. #12
    Ex Member Array GreenHorn's Avatar
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    Weather Man says "Chili today, Hot tomalle.

  14. #13
    Member Array darkstar11's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Dany
    You've never spent a winter in North Dakota.... Have you?

    Try Fairbanks, Alaska

  15. #14
    Member Array Dany's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Captain Crunch View Post
    Or Montana.
    LoL I have an ex from Colombia Falls!
    ‘‘To preserve liberty, it is essential that the whole body of people always possess arms, and be taught alike, especially when young, how to use them...’’

    — Richard Henry Lee, 1787

  16. #15
    Senior Member Array The Fish's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dany View Post
    You've never spent a winter in North Dakota.... Have you?
    Yes indeed...1967-1971 Grand Forks
    The days are so sunny and you learn to urinate outdoors VERY RAPIDLY.
    " Keep On Packin' On The Bimah"

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