The Light Side vs. Dark Side test

The Light Side vs. Dark Side Test

This is a discussion on The Light Side vs. Dark Side Test within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Okay this is important. We need to develop a sliding scale to quickly determine if a particular semiautomatic pistol is light side or dark side. ...

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Thread: The Light Side vs. Dark Side test

  1. #1
    VIP Member Array Euclidean's Avatar
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    The Light Side vs. Dark Side test

    Okay this is important. We need to develop a sliding scale to quickly determine if a particular semiautomatic pistol is light side or dark side.

    Negative infinity to 0 are the most evil guns imaginable. If you even think about these guns in most of Europe, Kalifornia, Mass, etc. you will be executed. They are just that evil.

    From 1 to 33 these guns too are evil. Odds are pretty good if you added a laser or something they could become super evil.

    From 34 to 67 your gun is not really part of the whole light vs. darkside debate. Pansy.

    From 68 to 99 your gun is on the Light Side. Congratulations, your gun is smiled upon by the angels. Your gun has the power to repel vampires and Hillary Clinton.

    At 100 or more your gun is so Light Side it makes grown men weep at the sight of it. As a matter of fact, when it rains, the raindrops will actually veer around your gun and not fall on it less they get it wet.

    You start at 50, right in the middle of the scale (okay not really but work with me here.)

    Positive Modifiers

    Your gun was designed by John Moses Browning +20
    Your gun has a 5" barrel + 5
    Any magazine that fits flush on your gun holds 8 rounds or perhaps 7 +5
    Your gun is chambered in .45 ACP +5
    Your gun is a Colt +5
    Your gun has real ivory grips +3
    Your gun is parkerized +3
    Your gun is blued deep rich and bright +3
    Your gun is a single action +5
    Your gun costs more than $800 normally and it had to have at least $400 worth of gunsmithing to make it work like you wanted it to +5

    Negative modifiers

    Your gun is polymer - 20
    Your gun is chambered in 9mm AND is not a BHP or made before 1980 -15
    Your gun is neither a .45 nor a 9mm -1 for each hundredth from .45 (for example 45 ACP - 40 S&W = -5)
    Your gun holds more than 8+1 capacity with flush magazines -1 for each round over the limit
    Each accessory that requires any sort of battery - 5
    Your Gun is a Glock -5
    Your Gun is striker fired -5
    Your gun costs less than $600 normally and has never been to a gunsmith because it works fine out of the box -5

    Okay what else do we need to add?



  2. #2
    VIP Member Array CLASS3NH's Avatar
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    selector switch??? Ok ok ok...<running and ducking>.....I'll go sit down in the corner now LOl.........
    Why Waltz when you can Rock-N-Roll

  3. #3
    VIP Member Array PatrioticRick's Avatar
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    From 68 to 99 your gun is on the Light Side. Congratulations, your gun is smiled upon by the angels. Your gun has the power to repel vampires and Hillary Clinton.

    I feel much better knowing I won't have to worry about Hillary
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  4. #4
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    According to your scale my numba 1 1911 scores 95. Add 10 points for having my name as the serial number and another 5 points for the custom Fiber Creations Special Forces inlaid carbon fiber grips and I repel Diane Fienstein as well as Sarah Brady.

    HooAhh!!
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  5. #5
    Senior Member Array SARR001's Avatar
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    Holy Schnikies, Euc!!! A little biased toward my beloved 1911?

    How is 10+1 in .45 a negative?
    "Life's tough......It's even tougher if you're stupid." -John Wayne

  6. #6
    Administrative Ban Array Bruces45's Avatar
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    Despit what your post says my 1911's are in the 1-5 range as they strike fear into every living creature who is on the business end of it.

    Just the mear mental image of one may make someone run and hide, and actualy seeing one has made grown men wet themselves.

    As for it being evil, well like the saying goes.....

    As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I shall fear no evil for I am the evilest SON OF A B!T@# in the valley.

    Molon Labe

  7. #7
    Senior Member Array cmidkiff's Avatar
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    +8 I didn't know it was evil, thought it was just a hunk of metal and plastic :)

    Fits in pocket ought to reduce the score some...
    Liberty is an inherently offensive lifestyle. Living in a free society guarantees that each one of us will see our most cherished principles and beliefs questioned and in some cases mocked. It's worth it.

  8. #8
    VIP Member Array Euclidean's Avatar
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    Okay let's test it.

    First the XD45ACP. While not as evil as some, this one should be well into the Dark Side.

    Positive Modifiers

    Your gun is chambered in .45 ACP +5

    Negative modifiers

    Your gun is polymer - 20
    Your gun holds more than 8+1 capacity with flush magazines -1 for each round over the limit, so -5 i n case ( 14 - 9 = 5)
    Your Gun is striker fired -5 (debatable somewhat in the XD's case as it's not really the Glock action, but evil enough for our purposes)
    Your gun costs less than $600 normally and has never been to a gunsmith because it works fine out of the box -5

    Total modifier: -30 giving it a score of 20. Okay so it's evil but not the most evil gun. About where it should be.

    The CZ 75 B

    Positive Modifiers

    Your gun is blued deep rich and bright +3

    Negative modifiers

    I believe the design of the CZ 75 predates 1980 so it avoids the full -15

    -8 for excessive capacity however

    Your gun costs less than $600 normally and has never been to a gunsmith because it works fine out of the box -5

    So total -10iving us 40 That's about right, a CZ isn't really on the dark side or the light side.

    Hehe it works pretty well.

  9. #9
    Member Array Snowshoes's Avatar
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    Luke come to the dark side
    "You have enemies ? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life" Winston Churchill

    "I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason and intellect has intended us to forgo their use" Galileo Galilei

  10. #10
    JT
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    All my guns are on the darkside, because they do my bidding.
    Blessed be the Lord my rock who trains my hands for war and my fingers for battle. Psalm 144:1

    Si vis pacem, para bellum

  11. #11
    OD*
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    Hmm, +48.

    Wait, I may have done this wrong.

    You start at 50
    Positive Modifiers +48

    98 then.
    "The pistol, learn it well, carry it always ..." ~ Jeff Cooper

    "Terrorists: They hated you yesterday, they hate you today, and they will hate you tomorrow. End the cycle of hatred, donít give them a tomorrow."

  12. #12
    Senior Member Array gregarat's Avatar
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    My guns are not evil, I am!!!!!!

  13. #13
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    Revolvers ain't gonna do well at all are they?

  14. #14
    VIP Member Array Euclidean's Avatar
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    Revolvers need a separate test. This one's only for semiautomatic pistols.

  15. #15
    VIP Member Array Bud White's Avatar
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    ahh its to much work give me a click here to answer test and ill take it

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