Cops say the darnedest things....

Cops say the darnedest things....

This is a discussion on Cops say the darnedest things.... within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; New version of Art Linkleter's "Kids say the Darnedest things".... These are suppose to be actual comments made by 16 Police Officers. The comments were ...

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  1. #1
    VIP Member Array Sheldon J's Avatar
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    Talking Cops say the darnedest things....

    New version of Art Linkleter's "Kids say the Darnedest things"....

    These are suppose to be actual comments made by 16 Police Officers. The comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country:

    16 'You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just
    went through.'

    15 'Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll
    stretch after you wear them a while.'

    14 'If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth
    certificate a worthless document.'

    13 'If you run, you'll only go to jail tired.'

    12 'Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the
    speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you.'

    11 'You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can
    write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?'

    10 'Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think
    it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?'

    9 'Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that
    again or I'll give you another ticket. '

    8 'The answer to this last question will determine whether you are
    drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?'

    7 'Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go
    to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop.'

    6 'Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster
    oven.'

    5'No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're
    allowed to write as many tickets as we can.'

    4'In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.'

    3'How big were those 'two beers' you say you had?'

    2 'I'm glad to hear that the Chief is a personal friend of yours. So
    you know someone who can post your bail.'

    AND THE WINNER IS....

    1 'You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we
    don't. Sign here.
    "The sword dose not cause the murder, and the maker of the sword dose not bear sin" Rabbi Solomon ben Isaac 11th century


  2. #2
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    Still smiling!

  3. #3
    VIP Member Array Dal1Celt's Avatar
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    The last one was PRICELESS!!!
    "Without fear there can be no Courage!"

  4. #4
    Member Array spooter66's Avatar
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    Taken notes SIXTO???
    "I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals." - Sir Winston Churchill


  5. #5
    Member Array cutdown's Avatar
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  6. #6
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    I loved the last one, and #9
    "The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants."
    Thomas Jefferson

  7. #7
    Senior Member Array BradyM77's Avatar
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    Number 7 and 8....Priceless!
    "I didn't do it, nobody saw me do it, you can't prove anything!" Bart Simpson

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    Senior Member Array thebigdl86's Avatar
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    "Anyone worth shooting, is probably worth shooting several times."

  9. #9
    Ex Member Array 98LSWON's Avatar
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    Reply to # 11. No sir, my speedometer stops at 155.

  10. #10
    VIP Member Array Patti's Avatar
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    Reply to #11:

    No sir. My speedometer is broken.
    Socialism is the philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance and the gospel of envy. Winston Churchill

  11. #11
    Member Array mutumbo's Avatar
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    hell ive said number 3 to ALOT of people in the back of the ambulance, LOL

  12. #12
    Member Array OMEGA2669's Avatar
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    Number 14, harsh but it was probably necessary.
    AT3 (O-Level) United States Navy - NRA Life Member
    "Molan labe! Just try... I'll show you the strength of my conviction... and I'll sleep well that night..."

  13. #13
    Member Array rcsnpr's Avatar
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    I Almost failed the "Mickey Mouse" one.

  14. #14
    Member Array OMEGA2669's Avatar
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    LoL. CAT! Wait... Dog? But... Mickey Mouse... AHHHH!!!
    AT3 (O-Level) United States Navy - NRA Life Member
    "Molan labe! Just try... I'll show you the strength of my conviction... and I'll sleep well that night..."

  15. #15
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    Array SIXTO's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by spooter66 View Post
    Taken notes SIXTO???
    Yeah, I've seen those before, and have used many of them myself. Sometimes you just have to have a sense of humor to get through your shift.
    "Just blame Sixto"

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