Cops say the darnedest things....

[Sheldon J]

New version of Art Linkleter's "Kids say the Darnedest things"....

These are suppose to be actual comments made by 16 Police Officers. The comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country:

16 'You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just
went through.'

15 'Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll
stretch after you wear them a while.'

14 'If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth
certificate a worthless document.'

13 'If you run, you'll only go to jail tired.'

12 'Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the
speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you.'

11 'You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can
write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?'

10 'Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think
it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?'

9 'Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that
again or I'll give you another ticket. '

8 'The answer to this last question will determine whether you are
drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?'

7 'Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go
to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop.'

6 'Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster
oven.'

5'No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're
allowed to write as many tickets as we can.'

4'In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.'

3'How big were those 'two beers' you say you had?'

2 'I'm glad to hear that the Chief is a personal friend of yours. So
you know someone who can post your bail.'

AND THE WINNER IS....

1 'You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we
don't. Sign here.

[DefensiveCarry.com]

[Rock and Glock]

Still smiling!

[Dal1Celt]

The last one was PRICELESS!!!

[spooter66]

Taken notes SIXTO???

[cutdown]

[sigmanluke]

I loved the last one, and #9

[BradyM77]

Number 7 and 8....Priceless!

[thebigdl86]

[98LSWON]

Reply to # 11. No sir, my speedometer stops at 155.

[Patti]

Reply to #11:

No sir. My speedometer is broken.

[mutumbo]

hell ive said number 3 to ALOT of people in the back of the ambulance, LOL

[OMEGA2669]

Number 14, harsh but it was probably necessary.

[rcsnpr]

I Almost failed the "Mickey Mouse" one.

[OMEGA2669]

LoL. CAT! Wait... Dog? But... Mickey Mouse... AHHHH!!!

[SIXTO]

Taken notes SIXTO???

Yeah, I've seen those before, and have used many of them myself. Sometimes you just have to have a sense of humor to get through your shift.