Letter From a Marine

This is a discussion on Letter From a Marine within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; A friend sent this to me. It's freezing here. I'm sitting on hard, cold dirt between rocks and shrubs at the base of the Hindu ...

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Thread: Letter From a Marine

  1. #1
    VIP Member Array Patti's Avatar
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    Letter From a Marine

    A friend sent this to me.

    It's freezing here. I'm sitting on hard, cold dirt between rocks and shrubs at the base of the Hindu Kush Mountains along the Dar 'yoi Pomir River watching a hole that leads to a tunnel that leads to a cave.

    Stake out, my friend, and no pizza delivery for thousands of miles.

    I also glance at the area around my ass every ten to fifteen seconds to avoid another scorpion sting. I've actually given up battling the chiggers and sand fleas, but them scorpions give a jolt like a cattle prod. Hurts like hell. The antidote tastes like transmission
    fluid but God bless the Marine Corps for the five vials of it in my pack.

    The one truth the Taliban cannot escape is that, believe it or not, they are human beings, which means they have to eat food and drink water. That requires couriers and that's where an old bounty hunter like me comes in handy. I track the couriers, locate the tunnel entrances and storage facilities, type the info into the
    handheld, shoot the coordinates up to the satellite link
    that tells the air commanders where to drop the hardware, we
    bash some heads for a while, then I track and record the new
    movement.

    It's all about intelligence. We haven't even brought in the snipers yet. These scurrying rats have no idea what they're in for. We are but days away from cutting off supply lines and allowing the eradication to begin.

    I dream of bin Laden waking up to find me standing over him with my boot on his throat as I spit into his face and plunge my nickel plated Bowie knife through his frontal lobe. But you know me. I'm a romantic. I've said it before and I'll say it again: This country blows, man. It's not even a country. There are no roads, there's no infrastructure, there's no government. This is an inhospitable,
    rock pit **** hole ruled by eleventh century warring tribes. There are no jobs here like we know jobs.

    Afghanistan offers two ways for a man to support his family:
    join the opium trade or join the army. That's it. Those are your options. Oh, I forgot, you can also live in a refugee camp and eat plum-sweetened, crushed beetle paste and squirt mud like a goose with stomach flu if that's your idea of a party. But the smell alone of those 'tent cities of the walking dead' is enough to hurl you into the poppy fields to cheerfully scrape bulbs for eighteen hours a day.

    I've been living with these Tajiks and Uzbeks and Turkmen and even a couple of Pushtins for over a month and a half now and this much I can say for sure: These guys, all of 'em, are Huns...actual, living Huns. They LIVE to fight. It's what they do. It's ALL they do. They have no respect for anything, not for their families or for each other or for themselves.

    They claw at one another as a way of life. They play polo with dead calves and force their five-year-old sons into human cockfights to defend the family honor. Huns, roaming packs of savage, heartless beasts who feed on each other's barbarism. Cavemen with AK47's. Then again, maybe I'm just cranky.


    I'm freezing my ass off on this stupid hill because my lap warmer is running out of juice and I can't recharge it until the sun comes up in a few hours.

    Oh yeah! You like to write letters, right? Do me a favor, Bizarre. Write a letter to CNN and tell Wolf and Anderson and that awful, sneering, pompous Aaron Brown to stop calling the Taliban 'smart.' They are not smart. I suggest CNN invest in a dictionary because the word they are looking for is 'cunning.' The Taliban are cunning, like jackals and hyenas and wolverines. They are sneaky and ruthless and, when confronted, cowardly. They are hateful, malevolent parasites who create nothing and destroy everything else. Smart. Pfft. Yeah, they're real smart.


    They've spent their entire lives reading only one book(and not a very good one, as books go) and consider hygiene and indoor plumbing to be products of the devil. They're still figuring out how to work a
    Bic lighter. Talking to a Taliban warrior about improving his quality of life is like trying to teach an ape how to hold a pen; eventually he just gets frustrated and sticks you in the eye with it.

    OK, enough. Snuffle will be up soon so I have to get back to my hole. Covering my tracks in the snow takes a lot of practice but I'm good at it. Please, I tell you and my fellow Americans to turn off the TV sets and move on with your lives.

    The story line you are getting from CNN and other news agencies is utter crap and designed not to deliver truth but rather to keep you glued to the screen through the commercials. We've got this one under control. The worst thing you guys can do right now is sit around analyzing what we're doing over here because you have no idea what we're doing and, really, you don't want to know. We are your military and we are doing what you sent us here to do.

    You wanna help? Buy Bonds America.

    Saucy Jack

    Recon Marine in Afghanistan


    "Freedom is not free . . . but the U.S. Marine Corps will pay most of your share."

    Pacifism is a luxury paid for by warriors
    Socialism is the philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance and the gospel of envy. Winston Churchill

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    Member Array Derrin33's Avatar
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    That is one of the best things I've ever read. Pretty darn neat if you ask me.
    God Bless America!!

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    VIP Member Array grady's Avatar
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    That was good. Very descriptive.

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    I don't know a single Marine that carries a Nickel plated Bowie knife, either in the SO community or regular grunts.

    Well written, but a bit too Hollywoodish for my own tastes.
    Fortes Fortuna Juvat

    Former, USMC 0311, OIF/OEF vet
    NRA Pistol/Rifle/Shotgun/Reloading Instructor, RSO, Ohio CHL Instructor

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    VIP Member Array Dal1Celt's Avatar
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    Good Luck and Good Hunting!!!
    "Without fear there can be no Courage!"

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    VIP Member Array JAT40's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by buckeyeLCPL View Post
    I don't know a single Marine that carries a Nickel plated Bowie knife, either in the SO community or regular grunts.

    Well written, but a bit too Hollywoodish for my own tastes.
    Yea, I caught the glow-in-the-dark nickel blade too!
    Good fun read, thanks for posting.
    While people are saying "Peace and safety," destruction will come on them suddenly, ... and they will not escape. 1Th 5:3

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    Senior Member Array thebigdl86's Avatar
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    I have some advice for him as far as the scorpions go from being in Iraq (i am now). DONT MESS WITH THEM!
    "Anyone worth shooting, is probably worth shooting several times."

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    I didn't know gecko45 was a Marine.
    Mark Twain:
    The government is merely a servant -- merely a temporary servant; it cannot be its prerogative to determine what is right and what is wrong, and decide who is a
    patriot and who isn't. Its function is to obey orders, not originate them.

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