Archery

This is a discussion on Archery within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Posted in another forum. I suspect I know the guy Around age 10 my dad got me one of those little badass compound bow beginner ...

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Thread: Archery

  1. #1
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    Archery

    Posted in another forum. I suspect I know the guy


    Around age 10 my dad got me one of those little badass compound bow beginner kits. Of course, the first month I went around our place sticking arrows in anything that could get stuck by an arrow. Did you know that a 1955 40 horse Farmall tractor will take 6 rounds before it goes down? Tough sumgun.

    That got boring, so being the 10 yr. old Dukes of Hazzard fan that I was, I quickly advanced to taking strips of cut up Tshirt doused in chainsaw gas tied around the end and was sending flaming arrows all over the place. Keep in mind this was 99.999% humidity swampland so there really wasn't any fire danger. I'll put it this way - a set of post hole diggers and a 3ft. hole and you had yourself a well.

    Anyway, one summer afternoon, I was shooting flaming arrows into a large rotten oak stump in our backyard. I look over under the carport and see a shiny brand new can of starting fluid (ether). The light bulb went off. I grabbed the can and set it on the stump. I thought it would probably just spray out in a disappointing manner . .. . lets face it . . . to a 10 yr. old mouth-breather like myself ether really doesn't "sound" flammable. So, I went back into the house and got a 1 pound can of pyrodex to add to the excitement.

    At this point, I set the can of ether on the stump and opened up the can of black powder. My intentions were to sprinkle a little bit around the ether can but it all sorta dumped out on me. No biggie...1lb pyrodex and 16oz ether should make a loud pop, kinda like a firecracker you know? You know what? Screw that. I'm going back in the house for the other can. Yes, I got a second can of pyrodex and dumped it too. Now we're cookin'.

    I stepped back about 15ft and lit the 2stroke arrow. I drew the nock to my cheek and took aim. As I released I heard a clunk as the arrow launched from my bow. In a slow motion time frame, I turned to see my dad getting out of the truck... OH NO! He just got home from work. So help me God it took 10 minutes for that arrow to go from my bow to the can. My dad was walking towards me in slow motion with a "WHAT THE HELL!" look in his eyes. I turned back towards my target just in time to see the arrow pierce the starting fluid can right at the bottom. Right through the main pile of pyrodex and into the can. Oh. Crap.

    When the shock wave hit it knocked me off my feet. I don't know if it was the actual compression wave that threw me back or just reflex jerk back from 235 frigging decibels of sound. I caught a half a millisecond glimpse of the violence during the initial explosion and I will tell you there was dust, grass, and bugs all hovering 1ft above the ground as far as I could see. It was like a little low to the ground layer of dust fog full of grasshoppers, spiders, and a crawfish or two. The daylight turned purple. Let me repeat this...THE DAYLIGHT TURNED PURPLE! There was a big sweetgum tree out by the gate going into the pasture. Notice I said "was". That mother got up and ran off.

    So here I am, on the ground blown completely out of my shoes with my Thundercats T-shirt shredded, my dad is on the other side of the carport having what I can only assume is a Vietnam flashback – ECHO BRAVO CHARLIE YOUR BRINGIN' EM IN TOO CLOSE!! CEASE FIRE DAMIT CEASE FIRE!!!!! His hat has blown off and is 30 ft. behind him in the driveway. All windows on the north side of the house are blown out and there is a slow rolling mushroom cloud about 2000ft over our backyard. There is a Honda 185s 3 wheeler parked on the other side of the yard and the fenders are drooped down and are now touching the tires.

    I wish I knew what I said to my dad at this moment. I don't know- I know I said something. I couldn't hear. I couldn't hear inside my own head. I don't think he heard me either... not that it would really matter. I don't remember much from this point on. I said something, felt a sharp pain, and then woke up later. I felt a sharp pain, blacked out, woke later.... repeat this process for an hour or so and you get the idea. I remember at one point my mom had to give me CPR so dad could beat me some more. Bring him back to life so dad can kill him again.. Thanks mom.

    One thing is for sure... I never had to mow around that stump again. Mom had been complaining about that thing for years and dad never did anything about it. I stepped up to the plate and handled business.

    Dad sold his muzzleloaders a week or so later. And I still have some sort of bone growth abnormality either from the blast or the beating. Or both..

    I guess what I'm trying to say is, get your kids into archery.. Its good discipline and will teach them skills they can use later on in life. Something they won’t learn in school.
    Last edited by Miggy; March 30th, 2009 at 08:02 PM. Reason: Not my story... thank God!
    You have to make the shot when fire is smoking, people are screaming, dogs are barking, kids are crying and sirens are coming.
    Randy Cain.

    Ego will kill you. Leave it at home.
    Signed: Me!

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  3. #2
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    I got my first bow when I was about 12, bought it from a neighbor for 5 bucks with some arrows, had a lot of fun with it for a couple of summers, but no stories that come close to touching that one Miggy.
    Fortes Fortuna Juvat

    Former, USMC 0311, OIF/OEF vet
    NRA Pistol/Rifle/Shotgun/Reloading Instructor, RSO, Ohio CHL Instructor

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    Now that there is entertaining, rolf.

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    No words describe how hard I laughed when reading that. Having a background in explosives I was reading thinking to myself. Surly he's not going to...yep he did! One can of pryodex man that's is going to do more that pop, wait you grabbed another one? Well I guess your still alive to write this post, you must have survived. You made my day.
    "The 280z, is more like a skittish, half broken bronco, that requires constant attention, challenges your driving ability and will literally ride the driver hard and put him away wet."
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    Funny story

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    It's a cute story even if it is BS. Pyrodex laying on a stump will not explode. Even true black powder laying in the open will not explode. It will ignite and burn, but not as well as black powder will.
    When I had my archery/muzzle loading shop I used to demonstrate to the Pyrodex users that it did not give as good ignition as true black powder. I had a steel plate that I would put a small pile of pyrodex on and put a lit cigarette out in. Then I would put a small pile of black powder on the plate and again touch a cigarette to it. The black powder always ignited.

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    Miggy, you write wonderfully. What do you do in real life? That was a great story.

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    Not mine!!!! Posted in another forum by a buddy of mine and he is nuts enough to be the author.
    You have to make the shot when fire is smoking, people are screaming, dogs are barking, kids are crying and sirens are coming.
    Randy Cain.

    Ego will kill you. Leave it at home.
    Signed: Me!

  10. #9
    Distinguished Member Array Rcher's Avatar
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    Thats was a very well told story, I laughed the whole way.

    I've been bowhunting since I was 12. Lets see, thats about 38 years. I've never tried the things in the story, I guess I was more responsible than that. However, knowing the flash properties of Pyrodex vs Black Powder, I have to agree with Archer51, I call BS. Now, on the other hand, shooting a flaming arrow into a can of starting fluid (which is essentially ether) would produce a sort of explosion. The starting fluid is under pressure inside the can and once pierced by the arrow, it would certainly explode.

    Now that I'm so much older, I may be able to test this theory with responsibility. After much thought, I've decided not to test the laws of Murphy.

    Great story though.
    "Government is not the solution to our problem; government IS the problem". - Ronald Reagan 1981

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    too funny.

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    When I was a kid, I too had a compound bow. My day was spent with pieces of cardboard on the ground with targets painted on them, and me... shooting arrows straight up trying to hit the targets, and not get hit myself. I did finally manage to hit a target. And funny enough, it was the last upwards shot I was to ever make with that bow. My mom came outside to see me let the arrow loose... and promptly screamed so loud I was instantly summoned into the house. I glanced outside in between screams and saw that last arrow sticking out of the target. I didn't care what punishment I got after that.

    Later on, my dad bought me a slingshot... and steel shot for it. I found out a few days later that my town was a bird sanctuary...the hard way
    "carrying a gun is a lot lighter than carrying a cop in your pocket" -MrTwice99

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