Things i have learned from living in tennessee

Things i have learned from living in tennessee

This is a discussion on Things i have learned from living in tennessee within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Wife sent me this... and it is all true! THINGS I HAVE LEARNED FROM LIVING IN TENNESSEE *Possums sleep in the middle of the road ...

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Thread: Things i have learned from living in tennessee

  1. #1
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    Things i have learned from living in tennessee

    Wife sent me this... and it is all true!


    THINGS I HAVE LEARNED FROM LIVING IN TENNESSEE

    *Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.

    *There are 5,000 types of snakes on earth and 4,998 live in Tennesse.

    *There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Tennesse, plus a
    couple no one's seen before.

    *If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.

    *Onced and Twiced are words.

    *It is not a shopping cart; it is a buggy.

    *People actually grow and eat okra.

    *'Fixinto' is one word.

    *There is no such thing as 'lunch.' There is only dinner and then supper.

    *Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're
    two. We do like a little tea with our sugar!

    *Backwards and forwards means 'I know everything about you.'

    *DJeet is actually a phrase meaning 'Did you eat?'

    *You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is.
    You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.

    *You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH them.

    *You measure distance in minutes.

    *You'll probably have to switch from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day.

    *'Fix' is a verb. Example: 'I'm fixing to go to the store.'

    *All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable,
    grain, insect or animal.

    *You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both
    unlocked.

    *You carry jumper cables in your car . . . For your OWN car.

    *There are only four spices: salt, pepper, Tabasco and ketchup.

    *The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but
    require 6 pages for local gossip and sports.

    *The first day of deer season is a national holiday.

    *County schools get out on Friday of race weekend on account of traffic.

    *100 degrees Fahrenheit is 'a little warm.'

    *We have four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, still Summer and Christmas.

    *Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past time known as 'goin' Wal-martin' or
    off to 'Wally World.'

    *A cool snap (below 70 degrees) is good pinto-bean weather.

    *A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola or pop. . . it's a Coke,
    regardless of brand or flavor. Example: 'What kinda coke you want?'

    *Fried catfish is the other white meat.

    *We don't need no stinking driver's Ed . . . If our mama says we can drive,
    we can drive.

    If you understand these jokes please forward them to your friends from
    Tennessee (and those who just wish they were).

    EVERYONE can't be from Tennessee ; it takes talent.

    You might say it's an art form or a gift from God!
    You have to make the shot when fire is smoking, people are screaming, dogs are barking, kids are crying and sirens are coming.
    Randy Cain.

    Ego will kill you. Leave it at home.
    Signed: Me!


  2. #2
    Member Array mutumbo's Avatar
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    opening day of deer season, half our school would be out. . . . excused absencenses too

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    VIP Member Array rottkeeper's Avatar
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    I may be from the northeast but I sure can make a plate full of catfish disappear in a hurry. As a side note, y'all can keep yer okra.
    For as the lightning comes from the east and flashes to the west, so also will the coming of the son of man be. Mathew 24:27

    NRA Member

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    VIP Member Array TN_Mike's Avatar
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    As a citizen of the GREAT STATE OF TENNESSEE, I'd like to say, and I know these things, that this list actually applies more to people from Alabama than it does to us.

    And I should know, I lived in Alabama for 12 years just prior to moving here. You are WAY, way more likely to have to go from Heat to A/C in Lower Alabama than you are here in Tennessee. And a 100 degree day here, is hot. Not for me, but for those who were born here, you'd think the sun just set down in their front yards.

    Still, it's a good list.
    ,=====o00o _
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    As an adopted Tennessean married to a Tennessean Southern Bell with an attitude and a gun, the only thing I can reply to Mike is... She is right and you ain't. I am not arguing with her
    You have to make the shot when fire is smoking, people are screaming, dogs are barking, kids are crying and sirens are coming.
    Randy Cain.

    Ego will kill you. Leave it at home.
    Signed: Me!

  6. #6
    VIP Member Array TN_Mike's Avatar
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    Wuss.....In my house I am always right. My wife told me I could be.
    ,=====o00o _
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    (o)_)-o- (o)_)--o-)_)

  7. #7
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    You are the man! (Like the song, of course)
    You have to make the shot when fire is smoking, people are screaming, dogs are barking, kids are crying and sirens are coming.
    Randy Cain.

    Ego will kill you. Leave it at home.
    Signed: Me!

  8. #8
    VIP Member Array Old Chief's Avatar
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    I moved to Tennessee in 1970 and have no plans to live anywhere else. The list is accurate as far as I can tell.
    One should never confuse good fortune with good training.
    Illegitimus Non Carborundum.
    In God we trust.

  9. #9
    Distinguished Member Array CT-Mike's Avatar
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    TN_Mike isn't whipped, his wife told him he wasn't.
    "The natural progress of things is for liberty to yield, and government to gain ground."

    - Thomas Jefferson

    "I'm the arrow, you're my bow, shoot me forth and I will go"

    "Do not let any individual posts put a knot in your Big Boy Under-Roos"

  10. #10
    New Member Array scottmac019's Avatar
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    Hi guys...I am going to be in Knoxville in mid-may for a Construction Challenge my son is in from school....Anyone have any good advice? Places to visit? Good restaurants? Whatever you can think of....we will be there from Tues. May 19 until Sunday May 24. I do plan on going to Coal Creek Armory so I can rent and shoot an MP5...always wanted to shoot one of those...hehe.....other than that we will be looking for things to do. So any and all suggestions will be greatly appreciated.

  11. #11
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    Yeah, and we don't stand in queues, we stand in lines, and we don't stand in lines in silence, we actually talk to one another - in the Tennessee dialect of course.
    I'm too young to be this old!
    Getting old isn't good for you!

  12. #12
    VIP Member Array Dal1Celt's Avatar
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    Sorry, but all my kids started drinkin Sweet Tea at the age of 1 all 4 of them. Those that start at 2 are late bloomers.
    "Without fear there can be no Courage!"

  13. #13
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    Think I saw the nearly the same list, before -- only it was Texas that time
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