The Gun Shrink

This is a discussion on The Gun Shrink within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; I just got an email from a shrink friend of mine Dear Miggy: I just finished a study of gun and gun owners and knowing ...

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Thread: The Gun Shrink

  1. #1
    VIP Member
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    Talking The Gun Shrink

    I just got an email from a shrink friend of mine

    Dear Miggy:

    I just finished a study of gun and gun owners and knowing your interest in firearms, I want to share with you some of my findings.

    From what I have seen in gun magazines and the few TV shows, the great “debate” nowadays seems to be centered in the Steel versus Plastic controversy. After doing an exhaustive research I concluded that more than shooting based is a generational thing.

    Those who own steel guns tend to be older or raised in a very conservative way. They grew up with erector sets and tinkering with machinery around the house or the farm and feel that the strength of steel is reassuring and the only way to go. However, those who go for plastic and especially Glock owners, are a younger generation who played with Legos and did not develop that intimate kinship with minute, well crafted parts and feel intimidated by what they see as unnecessary complications. They relish a weapon that “snaps” together rather than a meticulous crafted firearm. Steel scares them; there is no other way to put it. Also, their build is slight and reflects an urban and sedentary life without the hardships of barehanded labor. The feeling of a couple of pounds of steel bothers their column and the body “shung fei” goes out the window. I am almost convinced that the “gansta” fashion of pants halfway down the hips is not a true revolutionary fashion statement but the result of packing a 38 special or bigger steel gun in the waistband of a pair of sweatpants without a holster. Ganstas packing heat couldn’t keep their pants up and rather than admitting that they look stupid, they sold the idea of being cool by showing the tightie whities to all comers.
    Now, if you see any episode of Cops, you will notice that gangbangers are using more Glocks due to the lack of weight compared to old steel but, unfortunately their fashion taste has remained poor.

    I’ll email you later with a complete breakdown of neurosis by type of Glock. I know you will find it fascinating.
    Yours truly,
    Dr. Seisgeismundo Fraude.
    You have to make the shot when fire is smoking, people are screaming, dogs are barking, kids are crying and sirens are coming.
    Randy Cain.

    Ego will kill you. Leave it at home.
    Signed: Me!

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    VIP Member Array PatrioticRick's Avatar
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    LOL, I like it.
    Μολὼν λαβέ

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    1952 - 2006
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    Quote Originally Posted by PatrioticRick
    LOL, I like it.
    +1.
    Heroes are people who do what has to be done, when it has to be done, regardless of the consequences

    "I like when the enemy shoots at me; then I know where the ******** are and can kill them."
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    DE OPPRESSO LIBER

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    Distinguished Member Array BCurry1's Avatar
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    That's funny, thanks Miggy!
    Curry

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    VIP Member Array Bud White's Avatar
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    Thats Pretty Funny But how does it fit if you own both

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    Talking

    That was a good morning extra jolt to enjoy along with the morning coffee.

  8. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bud White
    Thats Pretty Funny But how does it fit if you own both
    I'll have to contact Dr. Fraude and ask him that. It should be a pretty interesting neurosis!
    You have to make the shot when fire is smoking, people are screaming, dogs are barking, kids are crying and sirens are coming.
    Randy Cain.

    Ego will kill you. Leave it at home.
    Signed: Me!

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    Sure fits the folks I know!
    Rick

    EOD - Initial success or total failure

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    Member Array DirksterG30's Avatar
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    Miggy,
    perhaps you can get your friend to weigh in on the .45 vs. 9mm debate?

  11. #10
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    The good doc got an answer for Bud!

    Dear Miggy:

    Your friend poses an interesting question. How does the analysis fit with somebody who owns both? Let’s examine the possible variations: Most serious gun owners own several weapons so our first yardstick would be how many of each kind he has. If his gun count goes heavy on steel rather than plastic, I would have to assume that he fits the Traditionalist group and he might have bought a Glock to try it or peer pressure. Women are not the only ones doing impulse shopping just check any guy’s garage and see how many power tools he owns just because he went to Home Depot for a toilet flapper and spent $500 on stuff that might be used once in a lifetime. I have a patient that bought a snow blower and lives in Fort Lauderdale!

    Let’s say the patient (sorry but I have to use my terminology or I get lost) has an equal proportion of Steel and Plastic or more Plastic than Steel inside his gun safe. We are now in the edges of true neurosis here. On the one hand, he is a product of the New Math and very probably raised in a “sensitive” home and as I told you before a Glock is the old Lego for adults that played Cops And Robbers when Mom was not looking so she wouldn’t freak. However he needs to “butch up” because of the image that the Steel gunners project and they feel somewhat inadequate compared to them. Think of it as a 140 Lbs. accountant holding a disposable ink pen standing among a group of lumberjacks with their blue steel axes and you will get the picture.
    Even the name “Glock” is a misnomer for the gun. It reminds me of the people naming their Pomeranians “Killer” or “Butcher” instead of naming them something more appropriate to their size.

    The Plastic Neurosis (I think I am gonna register the term) also applies to owners of Springields XD and the Walther P99 owners. You will notice that the guns look more menacing than the Glock and they contend they have more steel than the Glock but in the end they also suffer from the same neurosis but do their best to hide it. All cheap psycological make up.

    I have to go now. Keep me posted about the reactions of the Plastic Owners on that board. I would love to analyze their commentaries.

    Yours truly,
    Dr. Seisgeismundo Fraude.

    PS: I might be off for Italy next week, It seems that Beretta just came out with a “serious” plastic gun and I want to observe up close how it affects the male behavior in such a masculine world.
    You have to make the shot when fire is smoking, people are screaming, dogs are barking, kids are crying and sirens are coming.
    Randy Cain.

    Ego will kill you. Leave it at home.
    Signed: Me!

  12. #11
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    Dirkster... I don't think the Doc is crazy enough to touch that one!
    You have to make the shot when fire is smoking, people are screaming, dogs are barking, kids are crying and sirens are coming.
    Randy Cain.

    Ego will kill you. Leave it at home.
    Signed: Me!

  13. #12
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    Funny stuff, Miggy
    "I surrounded 'em"- Alvin York

    "They're ain't many troubles that a man can't fix with seven hundred dollars and a thirty ought six"- Jeff Cooper

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    Those are great Miggy!
    "The pistol, learn it well, carry it always ..." ~ Jeff Cooper

    "Diligentia Vis Celeritas"

    "There is very little new, and the forgotten is constantly being rediscovered."
    ~ Tiger McKee

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    Kat
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    Luke 22:36 And He said to them, "But now, whoever has a money belt is to take it along, likewise also a bag, and whoever has no sword is to sell his coat and buy one."

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    Haha - keep em comin' Miggy - love it
    Chris - P95
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    "To own a gun and assume that you are armed
    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."


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