Probably an oldie...

Probably an oldie...

This is a discussion on Probably an oldie... within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; ...but certainly a goodie: A burglar broke into a house one night.. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables; and when he picked up ...

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Thread: Probably an oldie...

  1. #1
    Member Array XDFender's Avatar
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    Probably an oldie...

    ...but certainly a goodie:

    A burglar broke into a house one night.. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables; and when he picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying, 'Jesus is watching you.'

    He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, promised himself a vacation after the next big score, then clicked the light on and began searching for more valuables.

    Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, 'Jesus is watching you.'

    Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.

    Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot.

    'Yep,' the parrot confessed, then squawked, 'I'm just trying to warn you.'

    The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?'

    'Moses,' replied the bird.

    'Moses?' the burglar laughed . 'What kind of people would name a bird Moses?'

    'The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus.'


  2. #2
    VIP Member Array deadeye72's Avatar
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    Glock 27
    BENELLI NOVA

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    Distinguished Member Array SonofASniper's Avatar
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    I have never heard that one before. That is great.
    I will support gun control when you can guarantee all guns are removed from this planet. That includes military and law enforcement. When you can accomplish that, then I will be the last person to lay down my gun. Then I will carry the weapon that replaces the gun.

  4. #4
    BJC
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    A new one for me also.... but the mental image that came to mind was priceless!

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    Yup, it's an oldie...... At least for us oldies!
    Rick

    EOD - Initial success or total failure

  6. #6
    Distinguished Member Array Bunny's Avatar
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    LOL! I like that one!



    Hmmm...perhaps I should change the new foster baby's name from "Argos" to "Jesus" now? *wicked grin*

  7. #7
    VIP Member Array rottkeeper's Avatar
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    I should rename my dog and get a parrot...
    For as the lightning comes from the east and flashes to the west, so also will the coming of the son of man be. Mathew 24:27

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    LOL, that was a good one.

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    Guess that means I'm an oldie too.

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    Member Array OMEGA2669's Avatar
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    First time hearing this! Very funny!
    AT3 (O-Level) United States Navy - NRA Life Member
    "Molan labe! Just try... I'll show you the strength of my conviction... and I'll sleep well that night..."

  11. #11
    VIP Member Array ccw9mm's Avatar
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    Squawk softly and carry a big ... Rottweiler.
    Your best weapon is your brain. Don't leave home without it.
    Thoughts: Justifiable self defense (A.O.J.).
    Explain: How does disarming victims reduce the number of victims?
    Reason over Force: The Gun is Civilization (Marko Kloos).
    NRA, SAF, GOA, OFF, ACLDN.

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