out of ideas

out of ideas

This is a discussion on out of ideas within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Ladies and Gentlemen, I have been happly married to a wonderful woman for 9 years. We have a 2 1/2 year old son and one ...

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Thread: out of ideas

  1. #1
    Member Array tattooguru's Avatar
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    out of ideas

    Ladies and Gentlemen, I have been happly married to a wonderful woman for 9 years. We have a 2 1/2 year old son and one on the way. I need some advice from my fellow brothers and sisters. My wife is extremley liberal. Everytime we get into a discussion about politics or anything related to crime and punishment it ends up in a . I'm not trying to change her by any means. I know that people are all different and thats what makes the world go round. It has come to a head when my brother paid for my concelaed carry class and bought me a brand new pistol. Her response to it was that if i go get my lisense then she is going to leave. I honstely dont know what to do. I dont want to call her bluff and go do it, but on the other hand i want to be able to protect my family. Its just gotten complety out of control. She has gone as far as to call me a militant and think like a communist. I will be upfront with you all cause i have no shame in my belifs or morals. I am 100% Republican and a strong supporter of my country. I think the goverment needs to go on a severe diet. I am making headway to get in contant with our local and national reps for my state. (OK). I have just had enough with all the crap that is going on and prepared to start doing something about it instead of just sitting back and whinning about it. Thank you all so much for listening to me rant and if there is anything or suggestions that you can offer me i appericate it very much.


  2. #2
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    If your wife is prepared to leave over a CCW permit, you've obviously got bigger problems that need some special discussion time.

    What you do depends upon how badly you want to repair your marriage.

    Our marriage of 38 years has not been without it's tests and trials...I would concentrate on winning the war, not each and every battle.

    You obviously have to start deciding on some priorities here...

    Good luck!
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  3. #3
    Member Array tattooguru's Avatar
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    ya know bud, i'm really not sure if she would or not. She told me the same thing about a tattoo i told her i was gonna get. That was 5 years ago and were still together. I want to keep it rolling and i'm not willing to loose the war over a battle. I just dont know how to get her to understand where i'm comming from. I sorely feel that the longer she attends school the more they fill her head with this nonsense. I know that alot of it came from her upbringing (mom and stepdad) both flaming libs. I do appericate your input though bud.

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    VIP Member Array dukalmighty's Avatar
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    There are none so blind as those that will not see,show her the susanna Rupp video,the lady that had her parents killed in a Luby's and had a gun in her car she couldn't get to,explain how you have no intention of joining any militant group but that It is your duty to protect her and your kid from danger and that you will be more prepared if you are armed and can meet force on force
    "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
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  5. #5
    VIP Member Array HKinNY's Avatar
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    Sit down together and check out Cornered Cat maybe she see the point given by other women.

  6. #6
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    If she is bluffing she has picked a poor way to make a point, that in itself needs to be addressed. For your question, I would think long and hard about my position then go buy the gun. My wife and I have disagreed about things before but would not ever threaten the sanctity our vows over such a thing as this.
    For as the lightning comes from the east and flashes to the west, so also will the coming of the son of man be. Mathew 24:27

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  7. #7
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    out of ideas

    Do you give into her when she wants something? Maybe you should offer her a trial run, 6 months maybe. I can almost guarantee it won't be an issue because you will probably never use it. After a while she wont even notice. I agree with the posters above about having her watch other people's situations. You probably will never change her mind but she might be able to live with it. My wife didn't want me to carry, it's been a month and a half, she doesen't even notice. I don't put the gun on when she's around and when I get ready to unholster in the evenings I put it away out of sight. Try to find statistics on how long it takes for the police to show up this might make her more open.

  8. #8
    Member Array mutumbo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by retsupt99 View Post
    If your wife is prepared to leave over a CCW permit, you've obviously got bigger problems that need some special discussion time.
    EXACTLY. i dont think you are going to really sway her views on guns by showing her a few videos of "pro gun" people, she sounds like she has a very firm anti gun stance. my parents are the exact same way, absolutely 100% completely hate guns, there is no statistic in the world that will ever sway them, no matter what. my only suggestion would be to check out some marriage counseling or something, it couldnt hurt.

    what school are you talking about? im a little confused on that one.

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    I agree with retsupt99, if she is actually willing to leave you over a CWP there are much larger problems in your marriage and you need more help that you will get here. I would suggest you both get outside counseling. If she is not willing go by yourself. It may help, it may not. If you try and it doesn't work out, then move on with your life.
    I speak from experience, my first wife was one who thought it was her way or no way. I put up with it for 11 years (longer that I should of). When she gave me the ultimatum of giving up my military career or splitting, well that was the final ultimatum. That was 28 years ago. I've been remarried for 25 years and don't regret it.
    Best of luck to you.

  10. #10
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    i would sit down with her and try and have a adult conversation and show her the facts and reasons wh yyou want a ccw. when me and my wife first got to gether i told her i enjoy guns will own guns and will ontane a ccw asoon as i live in a area that alowes them if you dont like it walk away now and she staed with me. but all ou can do is try and get her to see things form ou point of view and look at them a her point of vew as well. the goal is to get her to say i dot agree with you having a ccw but if you wnt it i will support you

  11. #11
    Member Array spooter66's Avatar
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    I don't think you will be able to change her mind on your carrying, but keep chipping away at it. You may at least get her to tolerate it.

    I would be more concerned with your other problem. Does she always threaten to leave if she doesn't get her own way (sounds a little immature doesn't it)? Does she always expect you to give in and conform to her wishes? Does she ever give in and compromise on your positions?

    Every successful marriage has one thing in common - compromise. No two people see eye to eye on everything. Both must learn to find the middle ground in situations where you don't agree. If any of this sounds familiar I suggest both of you seek marriage counseling.
    "I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals." - Sir Winston Churchill


  12. #12
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    Maybe threaten to leave if she doesn't get a permit? Not funny, I know.
    That's a tough one. Obviously, she has some pretty strong feelings about it, mis-guided or not. It would be tough being with someone when you are both so philosophically different. Even harder when they impose their beliefs on you. Counseling might help if she can be convinced that you should be allowed to have your beliefs and practice them as well. House rule #1 should probably be no political conversations. I sincerely wish you well.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by retsupt99 View Post
    If your wife is prepared to leave over a CCW permit, you've obviously got bigger problems that need some special discussion time.
    She is using her threats as a way to control your behavior. Weather or not you get your permit I would suggest marriage counseling! A marriage is for life and there will be fights over the long haul. There should never be a threat to leave! She is either in it to stay or not. If she isn't, letting her get her way isn't going to keep her around in the long run.


    As for me personally I would call her bluff in a none too friendly manner. Example " If that's the way it's gonna be then goodbye!" Then again that's probably why my wife hits me so much....
    It is surely true that you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink. Nor can you make them grateful for your efforts.

  14. #14
    VIP Member Array Patti's Avatar
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    I'd say you're in between a rock and a hard place.

    Personally, I cannot and will not compromise my beliefs for anybody. That being said, I am very happily divorced.

    I'd sit down and talk with her....explain how much it means to you. Afterall, your brother bought you the gun and he paid for the class.

    I really believe she is calling your bluff when she says she will leave.

    Also, I would never allow someone to call me a communist.

    That's just not right.
    Socialism is the philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance and the gospel of envy. Winston Churchill

  15. #15
    Senior Member Array highvoltage's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Patti View Post
    .....Also, I would never allow someone to call me a communist.

    That's just not right.
    I agree. In fact it's just the opposite, giving up what you believe in to subscribe to a view that's not your own. There is no dissent, there are no dissidents, only loyal party members all subscribing to the same view.

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