Which one are you?

This is a discussion on Which one are you? within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Redneck? Here is a little test that will help you decide: You're walking down a deserted street ...

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Thread: Which one are you?

  1. #1
    Senior Member Array highvoltage's Avatar
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    Which one are you?

    Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Redneck?

    Here is a little test that will help you decide:

    You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.

    Suddenly, a terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you.

    You are carrying a Glock 23 in .40 cal, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

    What do you do?

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Democrat's Answer

    Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor! Or oppressed?

    Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

    Could we run away?

    What does my wife think? What about the kids?

    Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

    What does the law say about this situation?

    Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?

    Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

    Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

    Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

    If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?

    Should I call 9-1-1 ?

    Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

    This is all so confusing!

    I need to discuss with some friends over a latte and try to come to a consensus.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Republican's Answer:

    BANG!

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Redneck's Answer:

    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click.... (eject magazine, insert new one)

    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click

    Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?'

    Wife: 'You are NOT taking that to the taxidermist!'

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  3. #2
    Senior Member Array Chevyguy85's Avatar
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    hahahaha

  4. #3
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    I was laughing as I read the Dem answers, then I scrolled down to the next two and just about fell out of my chair!
    "Mind own business"
    "Always cut cards"

  5. #4
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    Array SIXTO's Avatar
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    I'm pretty conservative, and the story says I'm an expert shot, so a bang should suffice. There is no need to waste ammo.

    Oh yeah, this is an old repost too. Still funny though.
    "Just blame Sixto"

  6. #5
    Member Array celticredneck's Avatar
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    Except, in my case, it would be wife and I both draw and nearly simultaneously(she's just a tick faster than me, due to younger eyes) bangbang bangbang. Two shots COM from each of us.

  7. #6
    Senior Member Array highvoltage's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SIXTO View Post
    .. Oh yeah, this is an old repost too. Still funny though.
    Oops, sorry about that. It was new to me, so I thought I would offer it up to the masses.

  8. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by highvoltage View Post
    Oops, sorry about that. It was new to me, so I thought I would offer it up to the masses.
    its all good.
    "Just blame Sixto"

  9. #8
    VIP Member Array JoJoGunn's Avatar
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    I would be placed in the "Redneck-Republican" category.
    Last edited by JoJoGunn; April 8th, 2009 at 05:32 PM. Reason: bold italics
    "A Smith & Wesson always beats 4 aces!"

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  10. #9
    Senior Member Array DaRedneck's Avatar
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    <-------------- Hmmm, betcha can't guess which one I am!!!

  11. #10
    Member Array Gamer's Avatar
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    I fit into the "Redneck-Republican" mold.

  12. #11
    Member Array Olsen's Avatar
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    No coffee break needed, I am a red neck. Guess I need to buy soem pick-ups and dump some old fridges out over the lawn..
    IDPA, USPSA, NRA & USCCA!

  13. #12
    Senior Member Array Rob P.'s Avatar
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    If it were truly me and my family there wouldn't be only 1 source for "bang."

  14. #13
    Senior Member Array highvoltage's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rob P. View Post
    If it were truly me and my family there wouldn't be only 1 source for "bang."
    I think we can safely use a 1 bang per Republican paradigm.

  15. #14
    VIP Member Array jwhite75's Avatar
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    Well Im a redneck and a democrat, I live in WV and we traditionally vote for politicians who are fighting for labor, and guns LOL. So I would unload heavily and then call my union rep for being required to work other than regular hours. LMAO
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  16. #15
    VIP Member Array AllAmerican's Avatar
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    LOL Ive seen that one before. I love it!
    My Music: www.reverbnation.com/dickiefredericks
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    "The Double Tap Center Mass Boogie. Learn it, know it, love it, shoot it. Good guys should live, bad guys not so much. " - Ted Nugent 09

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