Hilarious!

Hilarious!

This is a discussion on Hilarious! within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Okay for those of you not familiar with the man the myth the legend, allow me to present this brief summary of John Melvin Davis, ...

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    VIP Member Array Euclidean's Avatar
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    Hilarious!

    Okay for those of you not familiar with the man the myth the legend, allow me to present this brief summary of John Melvin Davis, aka Gunkid. Original source.

    History of Gun kid


    http://www.bop.gov/

    Inmate Information for JOHN MELVIN DAVIS

    Inmate Register Number : 84034-012

    Name : JOHN MELVIN DAVIS

    Age : 54

    Race : WHITE

    Sex : MALE

    Date Released : 7/6/00


    The first time I met Gun kid, was on the now defunct “Bug Out Board”. This was his own site prior to going to jail the last time back around ’97-’98 or so. At that time it was his fantasy that if the balloon ever went up he was going to jump on his life raft and float down the Mississippi. Being that he would be in the middle of the river, he was immune from bullets fired at him. His re-supply plan was to shoot innocent people in the back and steal anything they had in supplies so he could survive. The trip was to be from Illinois to Louisiana where he was going to sell his services as a hired killer to any local warlord! He was living in the back of his van at that time and during the winter depended on his Mylar blankets for warmth. Mind you he did ask for suggestions to stay warm. While he was sleeping in his van, someone snuck in and stole the battery while he slept;

    -He has seduced his best friend’s wife leaving her pregnant and then abandoning his daughter and if the balloon ever goes up, he has already stated his wife is on her own

    - He allegedly had a 2 year IPSC career 30 years ago, still thinks he’s a top hand yet the few competitors who remember him indicates that he chokes under pressure. He boasts, of his prowess, but can't provide any facts;

    -He likes to allude to a magnificent IPSC shooting career. There are no records of his exploits. However, there are complete records of other competitor’s scores, shot in the time frame he claims to have been a competitor.

    -He claims to have shot in the IPSC World Match in 1977, yet can’t tell anyone who won the match or the handgun used;

    -He does believe that IPSC shooting is reality and that’s how life will be if the balloon ever goes up;

    -He claimed to have shot with the South West Pistol League in the middle 1970's, yet John doesn't even remember Peter-the-Power-Meter. Ask Hard Ball, he remembers Ol' Peter. Gun Kid knows none, of the old line, 1970's era, SWPL shooters;

    -Well, we do know that Gun kid managed to shoot two people. Of course, they were both him. He shot himself in the foot with a .22 then poured scalding water over his foot as he couldn’t afford to go to a doctor. They second time he allegedly shot himself in the belt buckle with a .45. He has admitted to at least a ½ dozen accidental discharges on various boards;

    -Gun kid joined/was drafted into the Army in 1971 where he became a Military Policeman. He was shipped to Korea where he admitted that he slept on guard duty and beat the police dog that he was responsible for, went AWOL and admitted theft of government property. He received an early discharge from the Army after 1 year 7 months. He has not divulged the reason why. One can only speculate;

    -Gunkid became a world class gunsmith while he vacationed at Federal Correctional Institution Phoenix, they had a machine shop!

    -He has been arrested on numerous occasions, once by a meter maid, once his Community Programs Manager phoned him and he turned himself in. He has been a drug dealer and made cheap ineffective silencers. The 13 plus years he spent in jail indicates he isn’t the most successful of the criminal breed. He suggests that the way to be a successful drug dealer is to have kids sell your drugs as they can’t be arrested, same with selling silencers. Another arrest he received for Falsifying a Firearms Statement and Felon in Possession of a Firearm. This lead to the great escape.

    -The Great Escape; 14-25 Feb 1990 an escape adventure happened, in which Gunkid received 33 additional consecutive months to his original sentence. The most important question we have to ask is how stupid would a felon have to be to buy a firearm on a yellow sheet. Like a good little convict when released from prison he did a Furlough Transfer to a half way house. He was then involved with a theft and again found to be in possession of narcotics and fled by city bus to a friend’s house to live on a Tang/Peanut Butter diet until he could turn himself into police. He does this surrender thing very well. Allegedly the judge who ordered him into being a “Study case” stated John’s “Flights of Fantasy” necessitated the ruling.

    -Gun kid has 3-4 bulging discs as a result of hurting himself while he had a porta potty job hauling and cleaning job. He doesn’t believe in hiking just in case he hurts his knees and ankle;

    -He currently collects $800.00 SSI from the US government and allows a woman to support him, yet he complains of others “sucking off the government”;

    -Gun kid claims to be the biggest baddest survival guru on the planet, yet:

    Gun kid has admitted the following;

    1) Can't completely clean an AR which he touts as the “ultimate survival rifle”

    2) Can't use a map or compass, therefore they are useless;

    3) Can’t understand why people buy quality gear because he looses his during his ½ day field exercises;

    4) Doesn't own a watch cause he doesn't know how to use one in a survival situation,

    5) Tech knowledge on suppressors is 40 years old, but without a suppressor you will
    flinch and miss;

    6) Backpacking knowledge is based on fantasy, and has only minimal knowledge of what equipment is required to survive successfully in the bush over an extended;

    7) Believes that a good sleeping bag is a waste and Mylar can cover all your outdoor sleeping needs;

    8) Tactical knowledge is non existent "The Army didn't teach me nothin"!, and simply declares that everyone that uses a .308 will be standing around in the open all the time;

    9) Scared to shoot at something over 100 yds, because after that distance all hits are based on luck and nobody can hit a moving target;

    10) Your SHTF kit should only weigh 25-30 pounds, including 4 pounds of body armour and all your firearms and ammunition, the difference in the 4 seasons is irrelevant;

    11) the debarked Chihuahua is the best survival alarm you can have;

    12) a .223 fired from a 10" barrel is the ultimate weapon and is useful up to 300yds, but only when used with a suppressor because he has a severe flinch when shooting without one. As he has this problem he projects it on everyone else;

    13) the assault wheelbarrow is the only item you require to transport your kit if the balloon ever goes up! Things like Trucks, 4x4’s, quads, horses, pack mules, dog sleds, etc are stupid;

    14) Planning ahead is a waste of time because if the balloon ever goes up he will survive by cannibalism;

    15) Bolt actions are worthless and cannot be used to kill anyone;

    16) The short 10” or 11.5" AR is the ultimate weapon;

    17) .308's are useless; the rounds bounce off of things;

    18) "Practicing with a pistol past ten yards is useless." "All gun fights with a pistol will happen in ten feet or less." "Shooting at anyone with a rifle at over 100 yards without a "can" or muff's will result in misses every time” all pistol calibers required for SHTF should be in wildcat calibres, re-supply is not important as you are too stupid to live past shooting 50 rds;

    19) He kills dogs all the time for no apparent reason and they run away when shot;

    20) He can prove anything to be true by simply declaring it so;

    21) According to him, you are all “stupes” and liars, you've never caught me lying, even when you have, I simply declare that you haven’t;


    22) He will bet you 5k on some asinine bet that involves one of us dying to settle, so you won't take me up on it. And if you did take me up on it I will ignore you and pretend you ran from my bet.


    Claims he's going to get a website that's going to make him $300,000, $50,000, $45,000, $30,000 a year depending on which lie he's typing at the moment -- for over a year. When he finally gets it up, all it is, is his regurgitated posts, written under a false name since he can't use his own, he's sullied it so bad, and has to have a "guest writer" post articles that are word-for-word the same as the ones he posted under his pseudonym.


    The Fallacies:

    1.) he assumes he's going to ambush people and they won't be able to figure out where he is, and kill him
    2.) He assumes people can't shoot any weapon except a .22 well, because HE can't.
    3.) He assumes he'll be dodging and weaving and rushing from cover to cover 24/7
    4.) he assumes he'll always be able to pick the fight.
    5.) he assumes he can't be forced out of his cover.
    6.) he assumes no one has suppressors for their .30 cals
    7.) he assumes his suppressor will work (PVC pipe with faucet screen?)
    8.) he assumes if he has a suppressed weapon, that the report of his "enemy's" weapons won't effect him.
    9.) he assumes he'll have a suppressed weapon (which he doesn't have now, despite his braying and eDrooling, he IS afraid of his PO)
    10.) he assumes he'll have any weapon (which he doesn't have now, despite his braying and eDrooling, he IS afraid of his PO)
    11.) he assumes he has survival skills (between "the Army never taught me nuffin'" and his 1/2 ftxs, it's doubtful)
    12.) he assumes a Mylar blanket is all the protection he needs from the cold, when he lives in COLORADO (although he thinks he's in the Sierras)
    13.) he assumes he can move quietly through heavy cover at night


    Socially

    1) he cannot accept that there are people who know more about all these things than he does;
    2) he has almost zero social skills and threatens and attacks any who disagree with him;
    3) he will challenge everyone, but will fail to accept his own challenges;
    he refuses an all-expense paid trip to watch someone prove themselves
    because he’s, well, scared!
    4) he believes that a major achievement in his life is how many posts he can
    make on a board, topic relevance is not a requirement;


    Andy's rules of combat

    1) all opponents mill around in the open in daylight
    2) all opponents cannot hit without a suppressor
    3) opponents are only allowed to use iron sights
    4) opponents can only use ball ammo
    5) no one is allowed to carry much ammo
    6) everyone must be alone because nobody showed up
    7) everyone that is not alone will be unable to cooperate
    8) attackers will use the shimmy shimmy koko pop (dodge and weave) and you cannot shoot them
    9) all random events are 50-50 (ignore 1 in 3, 1 in 10, etc)
    10) a hit from a .22 at any range is instantly fatal, even if you take 3 days to die.
    11) Maps cannot provide any clues as to where food, water, cities, enemies might be located
    12) compass forces you to travel in straight line.
    13) in order to use a scope with a mil-dot, you must stand in the open
    14) darkness makes you invisible
    15) suppressor makes you invulnerable.
    Okay check this out... Gunkid aka wannabe has a website again!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHA

    http://news.silentstreakpress.com/

    Read why stockpiling a small reserve of ammunition is stupid!

    Why worry about how many rounds your gun can shoot before it breaks down?

    See him admit he is a convicted felon!

    Make a silencer, even if it's not legal in your state it's okay!

    HILARIOUS!!!

    Oh and read this, this is precious.

    I had a scoped, 12 lb loaded M1A, back in 1975, with a shotgun recoil pad on it, typical 150 gr ball ammo in it. I was firing from sitting, alongside my car. I did not notice that my firing side shoulder blade was nearlyagainst the steel wheel rim. In sitting, you not only rock back in recoil, your torso also ROTATES in recoil.

    The 308 slammed my shoulder blade into the wheel hard enough to nearly make me drop the rifle. A 7 lb BOLT action 308 recoils twice as hard as that heavy autorifle did, too.

    Furthermore, TRY matching 223 AR repeat hit speeds with a 308 autorifle. .20 second repeat hits, on 10" circle at 25 yds from standing, or at 50 yds, in bipod prone. If you can get your 308 repeat hit speed down to .30 second, you'll be doing great. TRY getting a compact, lightweight sound suppressor to suppress a full bore 308 rd's blast and flash, as well as a similar sized can will do for the shorty 223.

    TRY some crawling, walking thru brush, fast stuff indoors, etc, with a 22" barreled M1A and 10" and 1.5 lbs of suppressor hanging off of its muzzle. Compare its "handiness" to that of a sub 6 lb, 10" barreled CAR-15, with an 8", 12 oz silencer mounted on its muzzle. I"ll CHEERFULLY give up the ability to reliably hit head on prone men beyond 300 yds, in order to get the concealment, GI rd, mags, parts, 22 unit, handiness with silencer, etc, of the CAR-15.

    You can KEEP the 308's "ability" to take elk at 400 yds, cause I can get within 100 yds and brain one (the one per YEAR I'd need to keep myself in elk meat, post shtf).

    You can HAVE the silly "ability" to waste ammo on what you can't see (ie, trying to shoot thru buildings, cars, trees, , etc, at enemies with 308) At night, or in thick cover, that "ability" means a lot less than the .22lr unit, silencer and other goodies offered by the CAR-15. You go ahead and BE in open country in daylight, shoot at everyone you see, call in every enemy within 2 miles of you with all that noise.

    Me, I'll stick to AVOIDING trouble, and I'll silent-22 ambush anyone that I just HAVE to "engage". By sticking to either thick cover or darkness, and only coming out of my dugout when I have to do so, I know damned well my odds of surviving shtf are a lot better than the, "be in the open in daylight, shoot at everybodyj with my 308" crowd's chances, that much is a dead rock certainty.

    The reason 308 bozos can't see "getting by" with a shorty 223 and 22 unit are many-fold. For one, they lack the guts,ability, money to make-buy a good sound suppressor. They are scared of combat, scared of the dark, and inept at both swift shooting and combat-tactics. So the only cir*censored*stances where they can even FANTASIZE about winning is if they snipe everyone from long range, without getting detected.

    This ain't nam, and you aint carlos Hathcock. Carlos had a safe base to run back to, and choppers to insert and extract him, buddies to be spotters, taxpayers to provide his food, med care, etc. You will have NONE of those things. With a big, heavy 308, you ALSO won't have concealment, l22 unit, GI ammo, sound suppressor, etc. Bad trade, man.


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    Wait a minute...are you telling me that he's not a reliable source for firearm related info...

    Almost hate to see his name mentioned again for fear it'll bring him back here to this forum, however briefly...
    "I surrounded 'em"- Alvin York

    "They're ain't many troubles that a man can't fix with seven hundred dollars and a thirty ought six"- Jeff Cooper

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    VIP Member Array Euclidean's Avatar
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    He always comes back.

    Oh read this little piece of wisdom.

    I've SEEN multiple cases of posters on the walls of cop stations, "warning" cops about how it's "possible" to mount a sawed off shotgun inside the driver's side door of a vehicle, open the door to "aim" the gun at an approaching cop, and fire the gun by pulling on a lanyard. Right, like a cop killer type would RISK being unable to aim his gun at a cop when the door couldn't be aligned with the cop, right? :-)

    Another such poster shows how a shotgun shell "could" be fired from inside the handlebar of a motorcycle. Only some dipstick of a wussy antigunner could come up with such crap.

    Biker, on THR forums, says every biker he knows laughs at such stuff, and some of them have scratched "x hairs" on their bike mirrors. ROFLMAO.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Euclidean
    He always comes back.
    That sounds just like the title for a Steven King book!
    "I surrounded 'em"- Alvin York

    "They're ain't many troubles that a man can't fix with seven hundred dollars and a thirty ought six"- Jeff Cooper

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    VIP Member Array Euclidean's Avatar
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    Oh this guy is a LOOOOOOOSER. He doesn't work, he does nothing all day but spiel his crap.

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    Member Array SGeringer's Avatar
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    Wow, this is the first I've heard of this character. I needed a good laugh though to combat the ennui of work.
    http://www.myspace.com/sgeringer
    SIG SP2009<>XD45 4"<>S&W 638-3<>GLOCK20<>Mossberg Mav88

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    Funny thing is I know of someone who streachs the true on the internet too. Some folks just seem to get carried away with being unknown and want to either
    1 rile up people
    2 boost thier ego
    3 tellthe tallest tale possible and see who they can fool.

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    Never heard of this guy, but he needs to be put someplace. That was just unbelievable......... Can someone please get him back on his med's?
    Rick

    EOD - Initial success or total failure

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    JT
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    He posted here for a little while as "meme". It didn't take him long to be banned.
    Blessed be the Lord my rock who trains my hands for war and my fingers for battle. Psalm 144:1

    Si vis pacem, para bellum

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    "Gunkid" has posted on just about every gun board there is on the net...and he had been banned from about that number.

    He is easy to spot, no matter what name he goes under.

    Broken,protracted sentances that just seem to ramble on and on. Years ago when I was a moderator for a political discussion board that was heavy on gun rights, I used to ban him about once a week. He always posted from differrent i.p. no's ,I just figured he was posting from librarys or school computers.

    The prison thing makes sense.

    He touts himself as an expert on all things, but if you've got a clue about what he speaks, it usaually only takes a few posts to figure him out.

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    Oh my yes - this guy has been an itch I have always found oh so hard to scratch!!

    Over the years he has persistently ''invaded'' - or is that ''tried a takeover'' of numerous boards on the web. I have it on quite good authority he is not like this in real life - but to accept that means in effect making a diagnosis of blatant schizoid tendencies

    He is a Walter Mitty - delusional (grandeur and abilities) - an ego so swollen that no amount of med's can reduce it and finally - an example of dogmatism run riot!!

    Oh yes indeed - this guy is the thorn in the side of most gun boards at some stage or other but fortunately despite his keyboard diahorrea - is all but inept at concealing his style for long and so is usually caught.

    Funniest of all perhaps is - there have been things he has written that were quite acceptable but he always spoils that with his ''broken record'' spam about CAR, 22 and can - so has really now probably reached ''auto-ban'' status almost everywhere. I am almost surprised these days anyone can say they had not heard of him - and the ''assault wheelbarrow''!

    He gives a whole new meaning to ''get a life'' !
    Chris - P95
    NRA Certified Instructor & NRA Life Member.

    "To own a gun and assume that you are armed
    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."


    http://www.rkba-2a.com/ - a portal for 2A links, articles and some videos.

  12. #12
    VIP Member Array Euclidean's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rocky
    Funny thing is I know of someone who streachs the true on the internet too. Some folks just seem to get carried away with being unknown and want to either
    1 rile up people
    2 boost thier ego
    3 tellthe tallest tale possible and see who they can fool.
    Rocky that's just it... he's not stretching the truth he honestly believes all this stuff.

    He is insane. On his own site he posts under 2 different assumed identities.

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    VIP Member Array Bud White's Avatar
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    he's been banned here at least twice if not 3 times ..

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