New drugs for women..... (I know I am dead)

New drugs for women..... (I know I am dead)

This is a discussion on New drugs for women..... (I know I am dead) within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; DAMNITOL Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours. EMPTYNESTROGEN Suppository that eliminates melancholy and ...

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Thread: New drugs for women..... (I know I am dead)

  1. #1
    VIP Member
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    Talking New drugs for women..... (I know I am dead)

    DAMNITOL
    Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.

    EMPTYNESTROGEN
    Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait til they moved out.

    ST. MOMMA'S WORT
    Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.

    PEPTOBIMBO
    Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.


    FLIPITOR
    Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

    MENICILLIN
    Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better person."

    BUYAGRA
    Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.

    JACKASSPIRIN
    Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat.

    ANTI-TALKSIDENT
    A spray carried in a handbag to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in lifts.

    NAGAMENT
    When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him.
    You have to make the shot when fire is smoking, people are screaming, dogs are barking, kids are crying and sirens are coming.
    Randy Cain.

    Ego will kill you. Leave it at home.
    Signed: Me!


  2. #2
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    Two letters..... CC!
    Rick

    EOD - Initial success or total failure

  3. #3
    VIP Member Array farronwolf's Avatar
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    Sent to the printer for the wife when she gets up. Probably should wait till after she gets through the paper though.
    Just remember that shot placement is much more important with what you carry than how big a bang you get with each trigger pull.
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    VIP Member Array ccw9mm's Avatar
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    Straight to H for that one ...

    BUTTOX -- Tightens and firms the hiney in proportion to the amount used, leaving a firmer, flatter you.

    MENZADRINE -- Keeps your man from falling asleep during intimate moments. "Put the pep back in the step."
    Your best weapon is your brain. Don't leave home without it.
    Thoughts: Justifiable self defense (A.O.J.).
    Explain: How does disarming victims reduce the number of victims?
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  5. #5
    Member Array Henmeister's Avatar
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    My husband cautiously showed me this - wuahahahahahaaaa! (Good thing I'm secure and take my vows seriously, right?). I'm sending it on to my daughter in college - she needs to know about real life.

  6. #6
    VIP Member Array swiftyjuan's Avatar
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    Has Mrs. Miggy seen this? If so, did it hurt? You are a brave man...
    John
    Assault is a behavior, not a device.

    "Don't never take no shortcuts." Patty Reed, Donner Party

    Lifetime NRA member

  7. #7
    Ex Member Array Ram Rod's Avatar
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    LOL! Nice.................................

  8. #8
    VIP Member Array boricua's Avatar
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    Just shared with wifey... I'm still uninjured. She liked it...
    Duty, Honor, Country...MEDIC!!!
    ¡Cuánto duele crecer, cuan hondo es el dolor de alzarse en puntillas y observar con temblores de angustia, esa cosa tremenda, que es la vida del hombre! - René Marqués

  9. #9
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    well, she read it, she is laughing but I just know I will pay for it later.......


    OUCH!!!!!!!!!!


    She decided to stab me now....
    You have to make the shot when fire is smoking, people are screaming, dogs are barking, kids are crying and sirens are coming.
    Randy Cain.

    Ego will kill you. Leave it at home.
    Signed: Me!

  10. #10
    VIP Member Array miklcolt45's Avatar
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    Mrs. MiklColt45 loved it, along with MiklColtJrnumber3.
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    The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it.
    Albert Einstein

  11. #11
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    I printed out a copy for my local pharmacy.
    Liberty Over Tyranny Μολὼν λαβέ

  12. #12
    Distinguished Member Array Rugergirl's Avatar
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    Yep, you're safe, it's funny
    Disclaimer: The posts made by this member are only the members opinion, not a reflection on anyone else, nor the group, and should not be cause for anyone to get their undergarments wedged in an uncomfortable position.

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