This is a discussion on Some Firearm Related Jokes within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; A tough old Montana cowboy once told his grandson that, if he wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a little ...
A tough old Montana cowboy once told his grandson that, if he wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a little gunpowder on his oatmeal every morning. The grandson did this religiously, and he lived to the age of 93. When he died he left 14 children, 28 grandchildren, 35 great-grandchildren ... and a 15-foot hole in the wall of the crematorium. "
First man : why do you go hunting without bullets? Second man: Because it is cheaper and the results are the same. "
The Vietnam War has drawn to a close. The U.S. Army gives 3 Soldiers a chance to earn some money because of a lack of medals earned in the field. The 3 Soldiers, two PFCs and a Corporal, are standing in an infirmary in Ft. Benning, GA awaiting the docs. The doc tells the soldiers the parameters of the idea: each Soldier gets to pick two spots on his body, and for every inch separating those two points, $1,000 would be awarded. The first PFC tells the doctors he would like to be measured from the tipof his head o the soles of his feet. He is measured at 6 feet even, so he receives a check for $72,000. The next PFC spreads his arms to the side like wings and requests to be measured from tip to tip of his outstreched middle fingers. It's an impressive 8 feet 6 inches, so he is awarded $102,000. The Corporal grins at the doctors as he requests to be measured from the tip of his "baton" to the base of his scrotum. The doctor pleads with the Corporal to reconsider, but the Corporal is adamant. The doctor finally gives in, instructs the Corporal to drop trou for a measure. All of a sudden the doc exclaims, "Just where is your scrotum, Corporal?" He replies with a smile, "Back in Ho Chi Minh City, Sir!" "
"I didn't do it, nobody saw me do it, you can't prove anything!" Bart Simpson
For as the lightning comes from the east and flashes to the west, so also will the coming of the son of man be. Mathew 24:27
I just laughed my testies off. I know that's wrong.
Friendship... is not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything.