The European Disunion: Look at the Result
This is a discussion on The European Disunion: Look at the Result within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other ...
March 4th, 2006 02:25 PM
The European Disunion: Look at the Result
European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.
The tyrant dies and his rule is over, the martyr dies and his rule begins. ― The Journals of Kierkegaard
March 4th, 2006 03:19 PM
That is excellent
ezee ant it!
Chris - P95
NRA Certified Instructor & NRA Life Member.
"To own a gun and assume that you are armed
is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."
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March 4th, 2006 04:55 PM
Intresting they would consider German , since it was twice attempted to be forced on Europe as the standard language/culture.
March 4th, 2006 06:14 PM
Originally Posted by rocky
Those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it
Funny though no Herr Rocky?
March 4th, 2006 07:10 PM
looks like a job application we got at work the other day.
europe's still behind us. that form of spelling has been here for years
March 4th, 2006 07:17 PM
I really wish that ENGLISH was the official language of the United States.
March 4th, 2006 07:37 PM
Hey Hey RSSZ! You live in Florida, Learn Spanish!
You have to make the shot when fire is smoking, people are screaming, dogs are barking, kids are crying and sirens are coming.
Ego will kill you. Leave it at home.
March 4th, 2006 07:57 PM
USAF: Loving Our Obscene Amenities Since 1947
March 5th, 2006 03:12 PM
Sounds like the Ebonics hand book to me. Can anyone else see the similarities?
-Diplomacy: The art of saying nice dogie until you can find a rock.
-The truth is a three edged sword.
-Your brain is your primary weapon everything else is just a tool.
-When the only tool you have is a hammer then everything starts to look like a nail.
March 5th, 2006 07:06 PM
Ya Vol, herr White.
Originally Posted by Bud White
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