Question?

This is a discussion on Question? within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; If your spouse, girlfriend, better half, whatever you want to call them, started going out every single weekend apparently on girl's night's out would anyone ...

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  1. #1
    Member Array Concealed_23's Avatar
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    Angry Question?

    If your spouse, girlfriend, better half, whatever you want to call them, started going out every single weekend apparently on girl's night's out would anyone start to wonder??? I mean every single friday night, they went to the same cowboy bar...every chance they got?
    Slow is Smooth, Smooth is Fast, Fast is Deadly!


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  3. #2
    VIP Member Array CLASS3NH's Avatar
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    Sounds to me like it's ladies night.....and they're out lookin for fresh stock........... I've caught many a woman...........and guy .........out with "friends" and only to end up other places........
    Hope yours isn't doin those things..............From a Private Investigator's perspective....
    Borrow a friends van...........get a Sony 8mm camcorder with night shot, and "go fishin".........
    Why Waltz when you can Rock-N-Roll

  4. #3
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    Guess much depends of the implicit degree of trust - or not!

    It could be a sign but then if it was my wife I wouldn't worry - just because we have total trust. There again, we do most stuff together, except for my comp shooting, flying etc - at which point then I am ''off to see my mistress'' - it's a standing joke

    Follow the vid camera deal if worried enough - may be only way to find out. But - be discrete (of course!)
    Chris - P95
    NRA Certified Instructor & NRA Life Member.

    "To own a gun and assume that you are armed
    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."


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  5. #4
    Senior Member Array gregarat's Avatar
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    It all depends on the woman in question. Chris hit it square on the head. Trust is a big issue.

    The best advice I can give is to "trust your gut". My gut is right way more often than my brain.

  6. #5
    Member Array Concealed_23's Avatar
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    ok, but she still tells me every time we are on the phone that she loves me and really seems like there is nothing going on, ok, well here's what happened. She was visiting me at work, brought me some lunch and was hangin out, and since my job is so boring she said that she didn't think that she was going to stay the whole shift...then she got a phone call from one of her girl friends that she used to work with, and she asked her if she wanted to go to Bobby Mackey's with them, she asked who all was going and her friend said that it would be her, my GF, her friends room mate Laura, and I think laura's boy friend...but I don't think that they are quite old enough to drink, I know my GF isn't, and they don't ride the bull...so there is not really much to do there in my opinion...and of course I got pissed off, but I was married for about 8 months and came home too early, so advise PLEASE!!!!!
    Slow is Smooth, Smooth is Fast, Fast is Deadly!


  7. #6
    Member Array Concealed_23's Avatar
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    I kind of feel like my gut is tainted because of the last one, so from that point on I really haven't trusted any women, because my gut saus that they are all cheating trash, but my GF like I said still says that she loves me, (we've been together 2 years) and she calls me every night to tell me that she loves me and she's going to bed...etc.
    Slow is Smooth, Smooth is Fast, Fast is Deadly!


  8. #7
    VIP Member Array CLASS3NH's Avatar
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    Concealed? have you ever watched the show "Cheaters"?? they say "I love you" all the time on that show, I've done work on cases like that......videoed them right in action while they're on the phone with their Lover/spouse/partner........while they're with the other person...........
    BE DISCRETE.. and keep your eyes and ears open at all times......don't say anything to tip em off either...........
    Give yourself the benifit of the doubt... trust her...and if it bothers you.........go out afterwards to the bar.. and wait til they come out..........video is a POWERFUL tool........I use it all the time...
    Why Waltz when you can Rock-N-Roll

  9. #8
    Senior Member Array gregarat's Avatar
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    Concealed? have you ever watched the show "Cheaters"?? they say "I love you" all the time on that show, I've done work on cases like that......videoed them right in action while they're on the phone with their Lover/spouse/partner........while they're with the other person...........
    Good point.

    Concealed, you also said
    but I don't think that they are quite old enough to drink, I know my GF isn't, and they don't ride the bull...so there is not really much to do there in my opinion...
    Dude, how old is she? Beware of young ones they tend to be "flakey". I should know. I guard afew hundered a night !!!

  10. #9
    Member Array Concealed_23's Avatar
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    She's 18, she's in nursing school, and she just called me and said that it's just the girls tonight that the one girls BF was told that it's just going to be the girls tonight...i don't know
    Slow is Smooth, Smooth is Fast, Fast is Deadly!


  11. #10
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    Advice From The Peanut Gallery

    Well, if she is your Girl Friend & you're not engaged or married to her then you really don't have any ownership of her time during those times that she is not with you. She can still do whatever she wants to do.

    Heck...if she is only 18 then I'm sure she still wants to go out & not sit & be bored.

    She is still as "free as a bird" in America so...you have nothing to be POed about if she is interested in going out and exploring other options & meeting any other new people - male or female.

    If you two already have a mutual understanding that you're both not going to see, date, "go out" with anyone else while you are dating or...seeing each other....then that is a different story...to a degree.

    Even if she happens to betray that trust then you STILL do not control her...or own her...but naturally, your normal reaction would be to get upset & feel heartsick...and/or betrayed.
    You even have the right to be angry but, your anger should be limited to just walking away & finding somebody else if you can't deal with it in your own head.

    You cannot force any woman to love you & you cannot oppress and dominate or force a woman to "Be Only With You" ~ You wouldn't want that & she sure would not want it either. That NEVER works. That is not a natural, mutually caring relationship.
    In which case you both probably deserve better anyway.

    You CAN ask her to respect you enough to just let you know if she is seeing anybody else...or is possibly interested in anybody else or "shopping around" ~ and then you can decide if you still want to continue seeing her (or not) under those conditions.

    You also DON'T want to spy on her as that is no way to begin to form any sort of lasting & loving relationship. If you were married & you suspected that she was "cheating" then that might be a different story. But, you do not have a legally binding contract with her and as such...she can still choose to follow another "life path" that leads away from you...if she wants to.

    Communicate...Honestly ~ That usually works every time it's tried.

    If...you don't like your job & it's totally boring to YOU and you're getting paid to do it....then For Sure it's going to be Boring As Hell for her also so...don't blame her for not wanting to stick around & be bored out of her skull.

    And NOTHING is EVER worth putting your hands on a female in anger...just walk away & that will do both of you a huge favor.

    Just my opinion.

  12. #11
    Member Array Concealed_23's Avatar
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    QK,

    You're alright!!! You seem very wise as well, trust me I would never EVER lay hands to a female in anger...even when I seen what I seen in my last relationship, I just walked away, it hurt, but I walked away. My only thing is, that after 2 years, I have never had any kind of proof that she was or wasn't, and she does have a 1 karat promise ring on her finger. We have broken up before because of this same thing but we were back together the next day, she went to UofL to see her best friend Katy, and they went to this college party and I blew a gasket, and she said that if after 2 years I didn't trust her then I was never going to trust her, so then she left me. My only thing is that I have asked her that before, even tonight and she said NO real loud and she got angry that i even asked that question, that I should no better...etc, and I just don't know if she would lie to me or not, I can't tell if she is or isn't.
    Slow is Smooth, Smooth is Fast, Fast is Deadly!


  13. #12
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    Didn't think you ever would lay hands on a female. That's not you.

    BTW 18 years old is so young for any person to feel like they hafta make major life decisions or commitments before they have really had any real opportunity to spread their wings and explore life a little bit. It's too soon for her to have everything "all figured out" ~ My advice...just relax play it cool & be there for her.
    I hate thinking back on the Major Errors that I made when I was 18.

    You'll do just fine. You seem like a really good man.
    Somebody will be lucky to have you.
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  14. #13
    Administrative Ban Array Bruces45's Avatar
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    Here's my advice, stick and move brother stick and move.
    She is expiromrnting and you need too too. Life is to short to say I love you before you've tested the waters, so get out there cause she is too. Don't be fooled by lust.

  15. #14
    Member Array Concealed_23's Avatar
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    update on the situation!

    I just got off the phone with the GF, she wants me to join them tonight when I get off of work, ok...also apparently it wasn't Laura's BF just a Boy...friend...I get confused at times, and her friends want me to bring some of my guy friends from the Firehouse that I work with at least 2 (1 for each friend). At this point i feel kinda bad...and I feel kinda cornfused. At any rate...QK you are a good guy, with wise advice and thank you for everything!!!!
    Slow is Smooth, Smooth is Fast, Fast is Deadly!


  16. #15
    VIP Member Array Ti Carry's Avatar
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    Concealed, please take what I say to you lightly as I don't know your situation, know you or your GF so to say I did would be false.

    But in reading your post's I can tell you are pushing the issue every time you feel threatened and you snap so to speak and things escalate into an argument or at least a discussion about it.

    My advice to you is trust her until you have solid proof that she is doing what you think she could be in your head. Remember men think the worst of things like this. Just calm down and do not put so much effort into accusations that you have no proof of.

    She is 18 years old, she is going to go out. What you need to do is stop comparing her to your last one and concentrate on trusting her. If not you are going to loose/push her away anyway from always being on her about it. I can guarantee that you will push her into doing something like that to prove you right if you don't put it down.

    Do your thing, didn't you post about getting a possible new job? concentrate on that and stop centering all of your attention towards her and what she may or may not be doing. Show her that you trust her, care for her and prove it to her everyday. With your job, you are probably driving yourself nuts about this when there is nothing to worry about anyway, if there is! there's nothing you can do about it anyway.

    Anybody can cheat on another at any time, if you trust her, then well! trust her. If you don't then don't, but you need to move on if you don't because you can't live like that nor can she. It is not healthy and you will be wasting your time because it will never work. Remember, the more you push her on the subject the more she is going to be pushed away and the more potential that you will break up regardless or the more potential she will find someone else in the end if you don't stop.

    Give her the benefit of the doubt brother, as I said trust her, show her that you care and give her all the reasons NOT to cheat or want to.

    Concealed, if you don't! life is going to suck, you obviously are driving yourself nuts about it to post this.



    Ti.
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    I vote for Monica Lewinsky's Ex-Boyfriend's Wife for President.....Not!

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