Age bites back.

Age bites back.

This is a discussion on Age bites back. within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Doubt these are very new but - food for thought for us oldies - as time marches on ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ An older couple decide to go ...

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Thread: Age bites back.

  1. #1
    Assistant Administrator
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    Age bites back.

    Doubt these are very new but - food for thought for us oldies - as time marches on

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    An older couple decide to go to the doctor for a checkup. The doctor tells
    them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing
    things down to help them remember. Later that night while watching TV, the
    old man gets up from his chair. His wife asks, "Where are you going?"

    "To the kitchen" he replies.

    "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?"

    "Sure."

    "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" she
    asks.

    "No, I can remember it."

    "Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. You'd better write it down
    because you know you'll forget it."

    He says, "I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with
    strawberries."

    "I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, so you'd
    better write it down" she retorts.

    Irritated, he says, "I don't need to write it down, I can remember it.
    Leave me alone. Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream I got it,
    for goodness sake." Then he grumbles into the kitchen.

    After about 20 minutes the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his
    wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment and
    says - "Where's my toast?
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:
    "So I hear you're getting married?"

    "Yep!"

    "Do I know her?"

    "Nope!"

    "This woman, is she good looking?"

    "Not really."

    "Is she a good cook?"

    "Naw, she can't cook too well."

    "Does she have lots of money?"

    "Nope, poor as a church mouse."

    "Well then, is she good in bed?"

    "I don't know."

    "Why in the world do you want to marry her then?"

    "Because she can still drive."

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Three old guys are out walking. First one says, "Windy, isn't it?"

    Second one says, "No, its Thursday."
    Third one says, "So am I. Let's go get a beer."

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost
    me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art.
    It's perfect."

    "Really," answered the neighbor. "What kind is it?"

    " Twelve thirty."

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few
    days later the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous
    young woman on his arm. A couple of days later the doctor spoke to Morris
    and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?"

    Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be
    cheerful.'"

    The doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur.
    Be careful.'"

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Chris - P95
    NRA Certified Instructor & NRA Life Member.

    "To own a gun and assume that you are armed
    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."


    http://www.rkba-2a.com/ - a portal for 2A links, articles and some videos.


  2. #2
    VIP Member Array Bud White's Avatar
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    pretty good

  3. #3
    Administrative Ban Array Bruces45's Avatar
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    Funny stuff Chris

  4. #4
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    I'm loving it!

  5. #5
    VIP Member Array Sheldon J's Avatar
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    Hay I resemble that!
    "The sword dose not cause the murder, and the maker of the sword dose not bear sin" Rabbi Solomon ben Isaac 11th century

  6. #6
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    Chris, quit picking on yourself, 61 isn't that bad...... I hope.
    Rick

    EOD - Initial success or total failure

  7. #7
    Member Array exposurecontrol's Avatar
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    Hmmm...so it's the hearing that goes first....
    God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the weaponry to make the difference.

  8. #8
    VIP Member Array Sheldon J's Avatar
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    No it's the memory.........No it's the memory......No it's the... wait I already said that.
    "The sword dose not cause the murder, and the maker of the sword dose not bear sin" Rabbi Solomon ben Isaac 11th century

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by P95Carry
    Doubt these are very new but - food for thought for us oldies - as time marches on

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Three old guys are out walking. First one says, "Windy, isn't it?"
    Second one says, "No, its Thursday."
    Third one says, "So am I. Let's go get a beer."
    Really funny stuff, Chris

    It doesn't matter if they are very new or not...I don't remember if I've heard them before
    "I surrounded 'em"- Alvin York

    "They're ain't many troubles that a man can't fix with seven hundred dollars and a thirty ought six"- Jeff Cooper

  10. #10
    VIP Member Array maclean3's Avatar
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    I was gonna send those to my mom but she's still got a ******* left hook!
    Jack

  11. #11
    VIP Member Array PatrioticRick's Avatar
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    Huh?
    Μολὼν λαβέ

    USN 78-82/USAF 82-93 Medically Retired
    Desert Shield/Desert Storm
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  12. #12
    Member Array Gringo's Avatar
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    Thanks for giving me a chuckle after a long day!
    "Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice; ammo is cheap, life is expensive."

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