Old Farmer...

Old Farmer...

This is a discussion on Old Farmer... within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; An Old Farmer's Advice: * Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight And bull-strong. *Keep skunks and bankers at a Distance. *Life is simpler when ...

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Thread: Old Farmer...

  1. #1
    VIP Member Array Sheldon J's Avatar
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    Lightbulb Old Farmer...

    An Old Farmer's Advice:


    * Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight
    And bull-strong.

    *Keep skunks and bankers at a
    Distance.

    *Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

    * A bumble bee is considerably faster than a
    John Deere tractor.

    * Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled.

    * Meanness don't jes' happen overnight.

    * Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.

    * Do not corner something that you know is meaner
    Than you.

    * It don't take a very big person to carry a
    Grudge.

    * You cannot unsay a cruel word.

    * Every path has a few puddles.

    * When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

    * The best sermons are lived, not preached.

    * Most of the stuff people worry about ain't Never gonna happen anyway.

    * Don 't judge folks by their relatives.

    * Remember that silence is sometimes the best
    Answer.

    * Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get
    Older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.

    * Don 't interfere with somethin' that ain't Bothering you none.

    * Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a Rain dance.

    * If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

    * Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.

    * The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever
    Have to deal with, watches you from The mirror every mornin'.

    * Always drink upstream from the herd.

    * Good judgment comes from experience, and a
    Lotta that comes from bad judgment.

    * Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot
    Easier than puttin' it back in.

    * If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some
    Influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

    * Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply.
    Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

    * Don't pick a fight with an old man.
    If he is too old to fight,
    he'll just kill you.

    Yeah the last one has been retold a bunch of times but it is so true.....
    "The sword dose not cause the murder, and the maker of the sword dose not bear sin" Rabbi Solomon ben Isaac 11th century


  2. #2
    Distinguished Member Array Bunny's Avatar
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    Sagely words, thanks for the post! :)

    Also...
    * A bumble bee is considerably faster than a
    John Deere tractor.

    It's also a LOT faster than the horse you're on. Ugh. Ouch.
    Don't frisk me, I am the weapon.


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  3. #3
    VIP Member Array packinnova's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sheldon J View Post

    *Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.
    but any stump can be "fixed" with a few pounds of explosives ...and it's so much more fun

    Quote Originally Posted by Sheldon J View Post
    * A bumble bee is considerably faster than a
    John Deere tractor.
    heh...so is a full nest of yellow-jackets

    Quote Originally Posted by Sheldon J View Post
    * Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled.
    too bad tv advertisers haven't figured this out yet. That was one thing my father taught me. The louder you get in an argument the more folks are going to tone you out. The softer you speak, folsk are more or less naturally forced to listen as they strain to hear what you say...

    Quote Originally Posted by Sheldon J View Post
    * Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.


    Quote Originally Posted by Sheldon J View Post
    * Do not corner something that you know is meaner
    Than you.
    Does this apply for women?

    Quote Originally Posted by Sheldon J View Post
    * It don't take a very big person to carry a
    Grudge.
    ...but a little grudge can carry a really big person...right off the deep end

    Quote Originally Posted by Sheldon J View Post
    * You cannot unsay a cruel word.
    Sure you can. The libs unsay things all the time with history books

    Quote Originally Posted by Sheldon J View Post
    * Every path has a few puddles.
    ...and it's fun to JUMP into every one of them...

    Quote Originally Posted by Sheldon J View Post
    * Most of the stuff people worry about ain't Never gonna happen anyway.
    Please feel free to send any firearms to me. I'll worry for you.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sheldon J View Post
    * Don 't judge folks by their relatives.
    Unless you're in West Virginia

    Quote Originally Posted by Sheldon J View Post
    * Remember that silence is sometimes the best
    Answer.
    especially when you've already dug your hole in an argument with a woman
    "My God David, We're a Civilized society."

    "Sure, As long as the machines are workin' and you can call 911. But you take those things away, you throw people in the dark, and you scare the crap out of them; no more rules...You'll see how primitive they can get."
    -The Mist (2007)

  4. #4
    VIP Member Array JoJoGunn's Avatar
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    Unless you're in West Virginia

    Where in West Virginia?!?

    Inquiring West Virginians want to know.
    "A Smith & Wesson always beats 4 aces!"

    The Man Prayer. "Im a man, I can change, if I have to.....I guess!" ~ Red Green

  5. #5
    Member Array doobie's Avatar
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    Lol. Very true thanks for the post!
    Criminals For Gun Control
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    Member: NRA, PG-NH, GO-NH
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  6. #6
    VIP Member Array packinnova's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JoJoGunn View Post
    Where in West Virginia?!?

    Inquiring West Virginians want to know.
    Anywhere...it's all relative in West Virginia...

    Come on...I had to have a little fun with that one.
    "My God David, We're a Civilized society."

    "Sure, As long as the machines are workin' and you can call 911. But you take those things away, you throw people in the dark, and you scare the crap out of them; no more rules...You'll see how primitive they can get."
    -The Mist (2007)

  7. #7
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    * Good judgment comes from experience, and a
    Lotta that comes from bad judgment.

    O' So True. My Father was right just don't let Him know that.

  8. #8
    VIP Member Array JoJoGunn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by packinnova View Post
    Anywhere...it's all relative in West Virginia...

    Come on...I had to have a little fun with that one.
    It's ok Packinnova, I knew you were kidding. I have relatives in Wythe Co VA on dad's side. So we are on both sides of the fence!!
    "A Smith & Wesson always beats 4 aces!"

    The Man Prayer. "Im a man, I can change, if I have to.....I guess!" ~ Red Green

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