Hilarious Joke

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Thread: Hilarious Joke

  1. #1
    Ex Member Array United93's Avatar
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    Hilarious Joke

    I almost died laughing. Click on 'Joke Contest'. It's the first one.

    Cold Steel Knives

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  3. #2
    Distinguished Member Array Bunny's Avatar
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    ROFL! I like to think we're Southerners who happen to be Republicans :)


    Here's the joke for all:

    Are You a Republican, Democrat, or Southerner?
    The answer can be found by answering the following question:

    You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.
    Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock .40 caliber, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
    What do you do?

    Republican's Answer:
    BANG!

    Democrat's Answer:
    Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
    Does the man look poor or oppressed?
    Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
    Could we run away?
    What does my wife think?
    What about the kids?
    Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
    What does the law say about this situation?
    Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
    Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
    Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
    Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
    If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
    Should I call 9-1-1?
    Why is this street so deserted?
    We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
    This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.

    Southerner's Answer:

    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click..... (Sounds of reloading)
    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
    BANG! Click "Damn! I'm out!"
    Daughter: "Nice pattern Daddy! Were those the Silver Tips, black talons, or them new Hollow Points?"
    Son: "Can I shoot the next one Daddy?"
    Wife: "You ain't takin' THAT to no Taxidermist!"
    Don't frisk me, I am the weapon.


    Sig Sauer P239 DAK (9mm)
    NRA Member & Pistol Instructor

    www.vanguardnc.com

  4. #3
    Ex Member Array United93's Avatar
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    Thanks, Bunny. I keep forgetting about that Copy Paste thing...

  5. #4
    VIP Member Array deadeye72's Avatar
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    That's great. Sounds like my kids.
    Glock 27
    BENELLI NOVA

  6. #5
    Member Array docman's Avatar
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    ain't it great to live in the south!!!

  7. #6
    Distinguished Member Array Squawker's Avatar
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    I've seen it before, but it's a great joke, certainly worth seeing again! Thanks!

  8. #7
    VIP Member Array ExactlyMyPoint's Avatar
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    OK. Let's analyze this.

    Republican. Well, one shot. Must have been a head shot. With the price of ammo, probably trying to conserve.

    Southerner. Two nine rounds magazines. Which means he didn't have one in the chamber. Plus, like me, cannot fully load his Glock 27 magazine to full capacity.

    Or am I over analyzing this....
    Preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse or Rapture....whichever comes first.

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    Senior Member Array highoctane's Avatar
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    I am definitely a southern republican! lol

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    VIP Member Array JoJoGunn's Avatar
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    I'm a West Virginian, most Southerners consider me to be from the North. However, I do live below the Mason-Dixon line, the traditional separation point for North & South. I'm Republican in a predominately Democratic state. I'm all for owning firearms, carrying etc. Wondering how I'd fit in with this joke?
    "A Smith & Wesson always beats 4 aces!"

    The Man Prayer. "Im a man, I can change, if I have to.....I guess!" ~ Red Green

  11. #10
    Senior Member Array highoctane's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JoJoGunn View Post
    I'm a West Virginian, most Southerners consider me to be from the North. However, I do live below the Mason-Dixon line, the traditional separation point for North & South. I'm Republican in a predominately Democratic state. I'm all for owning firearms, carrying etc. Wondering how I'd fit in with this joke?
    All my family are from BACKWOODS West Virgina. As far as im concerned they about as southern as it gets. I know how they would fit in. Good people there.

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  13. #12
    VIP Member Array JoJoGunn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by highoctane View Post
    All my family are from BACKWOODS West Virgina. As far as im concerned they about as southern as it gets. I know how they would fit in. Good people there.
    Oh yeah! I hear you!

    What part of the WV backwoods do you hail from? I'm a Huntington boy. Not exactly the woods, but darn close to them.
    "A Smith & Wesson always beats 4 aces!"

    The Man Prayer. "Im a man, I can change, if I have to.....I guess!" ~ Red Green

  14. #13
    Senior Member Array highoctane's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JoJoGunn View Post
    Oh yeah! I hear you!

    What part of the WV backwoods do you hail from? I'm a Huntington boy. Not exactly the woods, but darn close to them.
    I was born in VA but my parents and the rest of my family are from the Bradshaw area. To anyone else that may be from that area, I meant backwoods in a good way.

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