Vegetarian?

Vegetarian?

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Thread: Vegetarian?

  1. #1
    Senior Member Array BamaSteve's Avatar
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    Vegetarian?

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  2. #2
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  3. #3
    Distinguished Member Array mathewsman's Avatar
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    lol nice like the saying says i diffident climb to the to of the food chain to eat vegetables
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  4. #4
    Senior Member Array BradyM77's Avatar
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    That is so awesome.
    "I didn't do it, nobody saw me do it, you can't prove anything!" Bart Simpson

  5. #5
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    Silly vegetarian, plants are what food eats!

  6. #6
    VIP Member Array hogdaddy's Avatar
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    T Rex Eat em vegie man
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    Senior Member Array Jackle1886's Avatar
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    Vegetarian: Old Indian word for "bad hunter."
    Better to die on your feet, than to live on your knees.

  9. #9
    Ex Member Array PNUT's Avatar
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    I'd like Vegetables ,if they tasted like meat or fish......

  10. #10
    Distinguished Member Array Bunny's Avatar
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    *chuckling*

    If God didn't want us to eat animals, He wouldn't have made them out of meat!
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  11. #11
    Senior Member Array A1C Lickey's Avatar
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    Dude that's so awesome. I'm so sending it to my wife (she's a vegetarian.)
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  12. #12
    Senior Member Array InspectorGadget's Avatar
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    People for the Ethical Treatment of Vegetables
    PETV

    If god didn't want people to eat animals, why did he make them out of meat?

    Oxnard,CA-July 07,2004-Research scientists at Oxnard UNC Medical Center have proven that plants, including vegetables, feel pain when subjected to trauma such as being yanked out of the ground, peeled, cooked, and eaten. "Veggies and plants initiate a massive hormone and chemical barrage internally when they suffer any kind of injury," says professor Harry Simeon. "This response is akin to the nerve response and endorphin release when an animal is injured. We cannot ignore the similarities." When Baker asked professor Simeon and his research team what they thought this finding might mean, they responded unanimously, "Nobel prize, baby!"

    Other agencies and the sum total of the world's hard-core vegetarians (known as vegans) registered formal complaints against the research. Their team of lawyers has already submitted a motion to have the results of the research destroyed or sealed. Others fear the damage has already been done. A spokesman said, "This is bad for us. Most of our members haven't eaten anything since hearing about the results. Our lawyers are looking into suing Mother Earth for false advertising, but concede that the suit will probably be inconclusive. In the meantime we'll be surviving on vitamin supplements and water."

    In an ironic related story, a dozen protesters picketing the Hungry Carnivore Steak House in Dallas were allegedly assaulted by three patrons of the restaurant. Eyewitnesses say that the picketers were making their typical nuisance display of scorn and righteous indignation over the willful consumption of "the flesh of murdered animals" outside the Hungry Carnivore when two unidentified men and a woman stepped out of the establishment and sprayed the picketers with several gallons of what appeared to be blood. Victims and bystanders alike were surprised to discover that the liquid was actually V-8 juice. The truly shocking result of the alleged attack was the reaction of the picketers. All of the protesters were wracked with convulsions and suffered hours of dry heaves while many of the bystanders merely laughed. This reaction within vegetarianism's great bastion of faith has many true believers reconsidering their dietary requirements. Others are quietly making funeral arrangements and the Environmental Protection Agency is considering declaring vegans an endangered species.


    -------------------------
    Veggies are People too...

    People for Ethical Treatment of Vegetables

    People for Ethical Treatment of Vegetables@Everything2.com

    Currently this (fictional (Or is it?)) organization is made up mostly of fringe botanists, fanatical gardeners, and other extreme plant lovers. El Seed, self-proclaimed liberator of the plant world, was a founding member but decided that they were not radical enough and broke away to continue his own campaign against the plant abusers.

    Their goal (supported by the beef eaters conspiracy) is to convert America to being carnivores and to stop the mistreatment of plants. Though they do allow that it is okay to use plants that have died naturally there are those within the organization that loudly proclaim that this is disrespectful and dead plants should be composted so they can return to the soil. (Some are secretly part of the Vegetable Liberation Front.) Also they do not object to the picking or eating of fruits, but eating seeds in any form is right out.

    Recent campaigns include Carrot Juice is Murder and one to build sympathy for baby vegetables.

    They are intense enemies of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals currently. But many suspect that if PETA were to ever succeed in eliminating the use of Animals they would try to take over PETV to prevent people from eating or doing anything.
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  13. #13
    Ex Member Array PNUT's Avatar
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    That's a good one InspectorGadget.


    Bet you 5 to 1 that at least 4 people will read it and think that it's real.

  14. #14
    Senior Member Array InspectorGadget's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PNUT View Post
    That's a good one InspectorGadget.


    Bet you 5 to 1 that at least 4 people will read it and think that it's real.
    DOH, the who have I been paying my VLF dues too?!?!?!

    On a side note Comedy Central is showing the South Park Man/Bear/Pig episode right now..... I'm Super Serial
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  15. #15
    Distinguished Member Array PastorPack's Avatar
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    I love vegetables, that's why I eat meat!
    Quote from my wife: "I can tell you why I'm not a vegetarian in three words...In-N-Out" (for the uninitiated among you, that's In-N-Out burgers, one of the best burgers on the planet and one of the few perks of living in California).
    God is love (1 John 4:8)

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